A Thursday wedding? yay or nay?

PeterPorter

There's a venue I've fallen in love with but the weekends are SO expensive to book it.. $10,000 more expensive. If I have my wedding on a Thursday, would that be bad? Why? Or why not?

artbyallie

The main con is that a lot of your guests will probably decline due to the inconvenience. If your VIPs will be able to make it and are willing to do so, and if it doesn't bother you that you may have a high decline rate, then I see no other reason not to do it.

MobKaz

My brother and his wife married on a Thursday evening.  It was in February during the school year, on a school night.  It was nearly impossible to find a sitter allowed to sit on a school night.  Once we did find one, we had to promise to be home before 10 PM.  

My husband and I also needed to make several work related arrangements.   Honestly, most of our immediate family jumped through a lot of hoops to attend the wedding.  We did it because it was our brother.  I honestly can say I don't think I would have done it for many other people.

I guess you have to decide whether the venue or the people in attendance are more important.

HisGirlFriday13

If you're doing this only for a specific venue, as a guest, I would feel like you're prioritising WHERE you get married over WHO you have watch you get married. 

Also, unless you're my brother, I'm not jumping through the hoops necessary to call off work for a wedding. (Caveat: I work in news, so for me to change my schedule means three other people have to change THEIR schedules, so I try not to do it except for really important reasons, because I don't like inconveniencing other people).

I agree with PPs -- clear this with your VIPs, and if they're OK with it, go forward knowing you're going to have a higher-than-normal number of declines.

Dreamergirl8812

My wedding will be on a Thursday. But we are having a small wedding and all of our VIPs are able to take time off during the week (small business owners, independent contractors and 1 teacher who already got a sub).

One thing I have seen other posters mention is that some people may think you're gift-grabbing. In other words, some may think you're inviting people who you know won't be able to make it hoping they'll send you a gift. I'm not sure how you avoid this misconception though...

I think if you're inviting 250 people to a Thursday wedding you will not come across positively.

misssunshine17

I think it completely depends on the specs of your wedding. 20 people with dinner but no dancing? Sure. 150 person party with bar and dancing? No way. I wouldn't go to a Thursday wedding unless it was my brother. 

NYCMercedes

You're really just putting your cost savings onto your guests as they'll have to use their leave time for your wedding, if they can even get time off.

southernbelle0915

laurenlaplante said:

There's a venue I've fallen in love with but the weekends are SO expensive to book it.. $10,000 more expensive. If I have my wedding on a Thursday, would that be bad? Why? Or why not?

I totally get being in love with an expensive venue. If you plan a "typical" wedding - ceremony followed by multi-hour dinner/dancing reception, I think you'll have a VERY high decline rate. Personally, I would not go unless I was in the wedding (I'd also be annoyed as BM if the bride later informed me her wedding was on a Thursday) or if it were immediate family.

I guess you have to decide what matters more to you: sharing your wedding with people you want to invite, or the venue. 

We had a venue that we were IN LOVE with and it's the "it" venue of our area. But it ended up being not only way more expensive than other really nice options, but a huge PITA because EVERYTHING was a la carte - it was almost to the point of like "oh, you want the bathroom lights on? That'll be $500." We ended up having our wedding at an awesome venue that didn't rob us blind or give us a headache, on a Saturday and with everyone we wanted to invite. 

blueobsidian

A lot of this is a "know your circle" kind of thing.  If I look at our tentative guest list, only about 20% of them work a traditional Monday-Friday week.  Many of our guests are retired, self-employed with flexible hours, or work weekends (my FI and his friends from work fall into this category).  Basically, no matter what day of the week we pick, we inconvenience about the same percentage of our guest list with regards to their work schedule.  There are a number of people who we know will have trouble making it on a Saturday night.

But this isn't going to be the same with every group.  As previously mentioned, check with your VIPs.  Are they all able to make it on a Thursday?  If most of your group works weekdays, you will probably have more declines and less of a party atmosphere.

Jen4948

I think you'd better consider your guest list before you choose this place and time because you've fallen in love with the venue.

If you have it on a Thursday, and large numbers of your guests would have to leave work early or take off altogether to attend, or have to make overnight travel and lodging arrangements, then Thursday, at this venue, isn't going to be the best idea.

HobokensFury

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my sister. Even then I'd let her know how much of a selfish PITA she was being for putting money ahead of her guests.

STARMOON44

Nay. And I don't understand falling in love with a venue that doesn't allow you to be considerate of your guests. Several PPs have explained Thursday weddings that worked in particular situations, but your post sounds like you want a big Saturday bash. But you can't afford it, so you're inconveniencing your guests to save money. I think it's rude, and if you were my friend I'd think you were selfish, didn't care if I could come, and I'd decline.

s-aries8990

HobokenBride2012 said:

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my sister. Even then I'd let her know how much of a selfish PITA she was being for putting money ahead of her guests.

Hoboken, wasn't your wedding on a Tuesday though? (Not trying to be snarky!) I think it would be a similar sentiment...

HobokensFury

s-aries8990 said:

HobokenBride2012 said:

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my sister. Even then I'd let her know how much of a selfish PITA she was being for putting money ahead of her guests.

Hoboken, wasn't your wedding on a Tuesday though? (Not trying to be snarky!) I think it would be a similar sentiment...

@s-aries8990 I got married on a Saturday night.

s-aries8990

s-aries8990 said:

HobokenBride2012 said:

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my sister. Even then I'd let her know how much of a selfish PITA she was being for putting money ahead of her guests.

Hoboken, wasn't your wedding on a Tuesday though? (Not trying to be snarky!) I think it would be a similar sentiment...

@s-aries8990 I got married on a Saturday night.

IT won't let me out of the quote box. I must be thinking of someone else who got married on a Tuesday.

SP29

Nay. Unless you are ONLY having a ceremony followed by an intimate dinner involving family and close friends. 

As said- people will likely need to leave work early on the Thurs, and either not stay very late, or have to additionally take the Friday off work. If you have anyone travelling, that'll likely mean both Thurs and Fri off work. 

CharliesWife12

What do you love more; the venue or half your guest list?

If you have a Thursday wedding, you also have to figure in a rehearsal date/time if you are having one.  More time off work for VIP's.  I think Thursday weddings are a lot to ask of guests.  

Gisellerina

Depends on your guests and their work schedules.  I would be very iffy about attending a Thursday wedding now that I am working.  While in school, I would have happily attended and not noticed or cared that it was a Thursday (unless it was during Finals).  If the majority of your guests have a traditional M-F work schedule, a Thursday wedding will likely be very inconvenient for many of them and you could get a lot of declines.  If not, then a Thursday wedding might be a good idea for you - saving you money without inconveniencing your guests. 

lizandmark2014

As a guest I would attend a Thursday wedding as long as it was with in an 8hr drive from my house.

Jen4948

I probably wouldn't attend a wedding on Thursday night-especially if I had to work the next day.

wrigleyville

HobokenBride2012 said:

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my sister. Even then I'd let her know how much of a selfish PITA she was being for putting money ahead of her guests.

This.

Jen4948

wrigleyville said:

HobokenBride2012 said:

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my sister. Even then I'd let her know how much of a selfish PITA she was being for putting money ahead of her guests.

This.

While I would decline the invitation if a Thursday wedding didn't work for my schedule, if $10,000 makes the difference between being able to afford a place and going broke, I would not do this, because that would make me a selfish PITA to call names or accuse someone of "putting money ahead of her guests."  A Thursday wedding in and of itself doesn't make someone a selfish PITA or mean that they're "putting money ahead of their guests."

zizibet

Also, if you have a lot of OOT guests who would have to fly, be aware that most cheaper airfares require a Saturday night stay. So, anyone who needs to fly in for your wedding would need to take off Thuesday, and stay through to Sunday or pay a lot higher airfare. That would be a dealbreaker for myself and FI.

jenniferurs

Would decline the invitation unless it were in town or I were a member of the bridal party.

vt&dt

I'm with everyone else, I wouldn't attend unless I was REALLY close to the B&G, and even then I'd be pretty unhappy with their choice to save $ instead of being accommodating to guests.  

Personally, I'd rather get married & have a reception at a less extravagant location and be able to celebrate with my family and friends.

huskypuppy14

Jen4948 said:

wrigleyville said:

HobokenBride2012 said:

I wouldn't attend a Thursday wedding unless it was my sister. Even then I'd let her know how much of a selfish PITA she was being for putting money ahead of her guests.

This.

While I would decline the invitation if a Thursday wedding didn't work for my schedule, if $10,000 makes the difference between being able to afford a place and going broke, I would not do this, because that would make me a selfish PITA to call names or accuse someone of "putting money ahead of her guests."  A Thursday wedding in and of itself doesn't make someone a selfish PITA or mean that they're "putting money ahead of their guests."

I agree with @Jen4948 not only that, but there are other jobs other than M-F 9-5. The world does not revolve around M-F workers.  My FI works every weekend, and I work regular business hours.  It's much harder for him to get a day off than it is for me.  There is nothing rude or selfish about having a wedding during the week. 

People have a problem with Sunday weddings too, because you can't get drunk and party, because you have to work in the morning, but still not rude.

monique637

I don't see what the big deal is about having a Thursday wedding. I'm having one and everyone that I have told says its fine because I am giving them plenty notice and its during the summer so no school. People take days off all the time and it seems like the new trend is for weddings to be over by 10. Sure if the people you are inviting are distant family and friends who you rarely see or know then most likely they won't make the effort to go, but those who you are close to will be there and not complain. Besides most people take it like their starting the weekend off early anyway. Call me selfish but I think its okay to be a little selfish on your special day. If you fell in love with your venue, like I did with mine, then you should be able to get married there. And if people complain and don't make the effort to go then they're clearly not that excited for you. No bride should have to settle for something or somewhere that is not her wedding dream. 

Viczaesar

monique637 said:

I don't see what the big deal is about having a Thursday wedding. I'm having one and everyone that I have told says its fine because I am giving them plenty notice and its during the summer so no school. People take days off all the time and it seems like the new trend is for weddings to be over by 10. Sure if the people you are inviting are distant family and friends who you rarely see or know then most likely they won't make the effort to go, but those who you are close to will be there and not complain. Besides most people take it like their starting the weekend off early anyway. Call me selfish but I think its okay to be a little selfish on your special day. If you fell in love with your venue, like I did with mine, then you should be able to get married there. And if people complain and don't make the effort to go then they're clearly not that excited for you. No bride should have to settle for something or somewhere that is not her wedding dream. 

#1: Not necessarily, no. 
#2: That's ridiculous.  People can be excited for you and not able or willing to take off work for somebody else's wedding. 

And regarding your last sentence, that's just ridiculous.  It's called real life.  Not everybody gets their dream wedding, and nobody is entitled to it.

emmyg65

monique637 said:

I don't see what the big deal is about having a Thursday wedding. I'm having one and everyone that I have told says its fine because I am giving them plenty notice and its during the summer so no school. People take days off all the time and it seems like the new trend is for weddings to be over by 10. Sure if the people you are inviting are distant family and friends who you rarely see or know then most likely they won't make the effort to go, but those who you are close to will be there and not complain. Besides most people take it like their starting the weekend off early anyway. Call me selfish but I think its okay to be a little selfish on your special day. If you fell in love with your venue, like I did with mine, then you should be able to get married there. And if people complain and don't make the effort to go then they're clearly not that excited for you. No bride should have to settle for something or somewhere that is not her wedding dream. 

I really dislike this rationale, which is used to support all kinds of decisions. Yeah, my closest friends and family will put up with a lot of shit from me because they love me, but that doesn't give me license to knowingly treat them badly. What ever happened to treating others like you want to be treated. or putting others before yourself? People have to settle for less than what they dream of ALL THE TIME. The fact that it's your wedding doesn't change that.