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Etiquette

NWR- Baby shower invite for someone you haven't met?

What would you do if you were invited to a shower for someone you've never met? Would you send a gift if you decline?? I was invited to a shower for H's cousin (2 hours away) they got pregnant shortly after they started dating and had a private wedding ceremony right after. H's cousin is the father, I've never met his wife and haven't seen the cousin in > 1 year. I want to decline and not send a gift but my husband is making me feel guilty. It doesn't help that they no-showed to our wedding and cost us $175, and we haven't heard a word from them since. Is it rude to not send a gift? I don't want to respond to rudeness with rudeness but it just rubs me the wrong way.

Re: NWR- Baby shower invite for someone you haven't met?

  • Decline graciously and don't send a gift. You're still within acceptable behavior as far as etiquette goes.
  • edited August 2013
    I would probably decline since I don't know mom- or dad-to-be. You could send a little gift, though - maybe a couple of onesies or a favorite book from when you were a kid.

    ETA: removing unnecessary obligation
  • abl13 said:
    What would you do if you were invited to a shower for someone you've never met? Would you send a gift if you decline?? I was invited to a shower for H's cousin (2 hours away) they got pregnant shortly after they started dating and had a private wedding ceremony right after. H's cousin is the father, I've never met his wife and haven't seen the cousin in > 1 year. I want to decline and not send a gift but my husband is making me feel guilty. It doesn't help that they no-showed to our wedding and cost us $175, and we haven't heard a word from them since. Is it rude to not send a gift? I don't want to respond to rudeness with rudeness but it just rubs me the wrong way.

    I would decline, and send a card.

    If you're feeling generous, send a pack of onezies and socks or a small gift from the registry if it's their first child.

  • Jen4948Jen4948
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2013
    If I didn't know either of the parents, I'd decline.  Maybe I'll send a card, depending on relationships with persons this person knows, but that's as far as I'll go.

    Edited to add: Tell your husband to stop trying to make you feel guilty, and he can send a card if it's so important to him to maintain a relationship that put you out $175.
    RebeccaB88
  • I think you should decline and leave it at that. If your husband wants you to send a gift, he can do it himself.
    image
  • Decline. No guilt necessary.

    *Leigh*

    Getting Married on July 12th, 2014

     Check out my blog: The Ramblings of a Future Country Girl

     Arnold photo Arnold5.jpg

     

     

     

     

  • itzMS said:
    abl13 said:
    What would you do if you were invited to a shower for someone you've never met? Would you send a gift if you decline?? I was invited to a shower for H's cousin (2 hours away) they got pregnant shortly after they started dating and had a private wedding ceremony right after. H's cousin is the father, I've never met his wife and haven't seen the cousin in > 1 year. I want to decline and not send a gift but my husband is making me feel guilty. It doesn't help that they no-showed to our wedding and cost us $175, and we haven't heard a word from them since. Is it rude to not send a gift? I don't want to respond to rudeness with rudeness but it just rubs me the wrong way.

    I would decline, and send a card.

    If you're feeling generous, send a pack of onezies and socks or a small gift from the registry if it's their first child.

    This is what I would do. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Nope, no way. If FI feels so strongly, he can send a gift. 

  • I just want to clarify - you invited someone you hadn't met to your wedding but you are annoyed they invited you to a baby shower?
    Lobster1987[Deleted User]
  • scribe95 said:
    I just want to clarify - you invited someone you hadn't met to your wedding but you are annoyed they invited you to a baby shower?

    Right?

    *Leigh*

    Getting Married on July 12th, 2014

     Check out my blog: The Ramblings of a Future Country Girl

     Arnold photo Arnold5.jpg

     

     

     

     

  • scribe95 said:
    I just want to clarify - you invited someone you hadn't met to your wedding but you are annoyed they invited you to a baby shower?

    They're family....had to invite them....she wasn't invited to my bridal shower so why would I attend hers?
  • I would decline, and send a card.

    If you're feeling generous, send a pack of onezies and socks or a small gift from the registry if it's their first child.


    This.  I second/third it!


  • Look it's not a subpoena. I don't think they did anything wrong by inviting you. You obviously don't want to go for whatever reason (apparently that they cost you $175) so don't go. But if your husband wants a gift sent to his family then that's his right.
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