Pre-wedding Parties

Shower Question -- out of town bride

My mom asked me to get feedback from you all... haha She is worrying about the wedding shower. We live in Texas, but the wedding and both families are in Ohio. Plane tickets are outrageous right now, often over $400. I'll be home twice before Christmas for my BFFs' weddings and then hopefully at Christmas. The goal is to have most everything set with vendors by then, and any last details can be done via phone or Skype. Here's the dilemma, what do we do for a shower? Money is tight and we don't know if we can afford/if it's worth it to fly home in the spring for a shower, but we both (especially my mom) want to do one. Since all of my wedding details are coming together, it really would be a flight just for a shower. We discussed maybe doing a couples shower/engagement party the weekend after Christmas, but we're afraid it's too early. Plus there are scheduling around Christmas challenges, and the real possibility of a snow storm ruining the event. Anyone facing similar issues? Is six months in advance too early for a shower? Any thoughts you all have as a bride and/or guest? Feedback is much appreciated.

Re: Shower Question -- out of town bride

  • We faced a similar situation with my niece in law.  She and FI (my nephew) live in Seattle.  The wedding was in St. Louis on NYE.  My nephew is from Chicago.  We knew the only time they would be in the Chicago area was early September.  We had no problem hosting a shower 4 months ahead of time.  Everyone at the shower was immediate family and/or close friend, and was aware of the situation.  Guests were simply happy to be able to see the bride and shower her in person.

    A year later, over the Thanksgiving weekend, we hosted not only a baby shower for this same niece (due in January), on Friday,  but a celebration acknowledging another nephews OOT wedding Saturday.  It was insanity, but a lot of fun.  We had plenty of advanced warning to make schedules and plans.  I personally would have no problem accommodating your situation. It seems a little late for an engagement party, however.  I would just call the party a shower and leave it at that.

      However, as odd as it sounds, I would caution you to avoid the temptation of using those gifts prematurely.  Also be prepared to either bring an empty suitcase to facilitate bringing those gifts home, or save now for some shipping costs.
  • I am in a similar situation (FI and I live on east coast, my family who wants to throw me a shower is in the midwest). My aunt has planned it for the Saturday after Christmas so that my whole family will be able to attend if they desire and I will already have paid to be home for the holidays. The time isn't an issue - my shower will be 4 months before my wedding. 
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