Wedding Invitations & Paper

Military: Playing Solo for "Thank You" Notes?

ceclardy14ceclardy14 member
Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
My fiancé is in the military, which means we're apart a lot of the time. When we had our engagement party, I wrote all the thank you cards, signed them, and had him sign them as well. It was all fine and dandy, and I honestly didn't mind it, but that was a lot of writing for me. Because the party was only a couple weeks before Christmas, I was still worn out from all the writing for the party, and so my Christmas cards suffered as a result. 

Our wedding is in early January, and I'm trying to avoid creating this problem a second time. So my question is: should I have my fiancé write some thank you cards as well? This may seem like a "duh!" or "you think?!" question, but the reason I was so willing to do the engagement party cards by myself was because I knew he is only home for a very limited time each year, and I would rather spend as much time with my Sailor as possible before he has to go to the airport to go back to base. 

We plan to have as little of the military as possible, and no paperwork (military comes with a lot!) or whatnot during the honeymoon, because with having to constantly be apart, we both just want to cherish every second together before we have to part yet again. 

Thank you! 

As a side note... Please, PLEASE be respectful. I have posted a couple times before. Although I've had some that were short and sweet, my last two posts were complete disasters and I quickly lost control. Please be respectful to EVERYONE. Thank you. 

Re: Military: Playing Solo for "Thank You" Notes?

  • My fiancé is in the military, which means we're apart a lot of the time. When we had our engagement party, I wrote all the thank you cards, signed them, and had him sign them as well. It was all fine and dandy, and I honestly didn't mind it, but that was a lot of writing for me. Because the party was only a couple weeks before Christmas, I was still worn out from all the writing for the party, and so my Christmas cards suffered as a result. 

    Our wedding is in early January, and I'm trying to avoid creating this problem a second time. So my question is: should I have my fiancé write some thank you cards as well? This may seem like a "duh!" or "you think?!" question, but the reason I was so willing to do the engagement party cards by myself was because I knew he is only home for a very limited time each year, and I would rather spend as much time with my Sailor as possible before he has to go to the airport to go back to base. 

    We plan to have as little of the military as possible, and no paperwork (military comes with a lot!) or whatnot during the honeymoon, because with having to constantly be apart, we both just want to cherish every second together before we have to part yet again. 

    Thank you! 

    As a side note... Please, PLEASE be respectful. I have posted a couple times before. Although I've had some that were short and sweet, my last two posts were complete disasters and I quickly lost control. So I respectfully ask: If you cannot be courteous to other posters (myself included) as individuals, please don't bring that stress to this post. If you have an issue with anyone (again, myself included) simply private message the person instead of turning this post into an all-out cat fight. I'm not trying to be a victim, however, I've had more than enough judgment for asking a question or for standing up for a person, whether that person is myself or another poster. Please be respectful to EVERYONE. Thank you. 

    Your question is "...should I have my fiance write some thank you cards...?". I recommend you ask him to write thank you notes, if he doesn't take it upon himself to do so.
  • Yes, I think he should write out some thank you cards so that you do not have to write all of them by yourself.  I understand that you want to spend what little time you spend together not "working on" something but I think if you and him sat down together and wrote them out that it might not be half bad.
    image
  • Yes, I would have him help.
  • Also, do as much as you can ahead of time -- addressing, stamping, etc.  I did that with my shower and got 40 thank yous out in just 3 days.
  • Write 'em all out yourself if you want.  If you feel overwhelmed, have your FI help you.  I pretty much spent all day one Saturday and wrote them out and got them done with.  It really wasn't a big deal.

    As a side note, please don't treat adults like children and tell them how to post.  That's rude.
  • Wow, I never even thought about addressing them out ahead of time! What a great idea.
  • Yes, looking at my side comment again a few hours later, it DOES sound rude, which was not my intention and I DO apologize for that. I think I was just getting defensive over a possibility that hadn't even happened yet, and you're right that it's not fair to take it out on everyone else. 

    Thanks everyone! 
  • I have another question for you lovely ladies: 

    Whose address should I put as the return address, his or mine? Of course, if I find a place of my own, and for him when he's home, it will be that address. Currently I am still at my folks' house (which I don't have a problem with at the moment) because I have to get a paying job to be able to start saving up to get an apartment until we move to our first station together. 

    I'm thinking of putting mine so that he and his folks don't have to worry about if a card gets returned for any reason. 

    Thanks!
  • I would use your return address sine you will be writing most of them.

    Is there a reason that your Fi cant write some TY notes while he is on his military base? He doesnt need to write them physically with you.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Mostly I just didn't want to stress him out with work plus needing to write them out in his spare time, especially since his shifts often change from nights to days. His shifts sometimes get more unpredictable as cruise approaches when they get ready to go out the aircraft carrier. I think I'll ask him what he thinks about splitting the load and we'll go from there. I'll also ask him again once he's home on leave and I actually know how long he has home; I know he has at least three weeks. 

    Thank you! 
  • I vote no on asking him to help.  For one thing, guys don't tend to be as good at writing notes, and if he's like my guy, good luck reading his handwriting.  There are great ways to make it easier on yourself--like one of the above posters said, try addressing the cards in advance.  Also, don't be so hard on yourself.  While it's impressive when people get their thank yous done really fast after weddings, etiquette rules say you have plenty of time.  Enjoy the honeymoon and spend time with him, then finish writing them once he's away again and you have more spare time.  You'll get them done!  Don't sweat the small stuff.  :)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards