Title For a Widow?

doeydo

I am not sending out my invites anytime soon, but I am making a guest list on The Knot and I like to plan ahead.  So, one of my FI's relatives is a widow and has been for many years.  What is the proper etiquette in this case?  "Mrs. Smith" or "Ms. Smith"?

mlg78

I would do Mrs... Could you get the opinion of FI's parents who might know better?

NYCMercedes

doeydo said:

I am not sending out my invites anytime soon, but I am making a guest list on The Knot and I like to plan ahead.  So, one of my FI's relatives is a widow and has been for many years.  What is the proper etiquette in this case?  "Mrs. Smith" or "Ms. Smith"?

It's Mrs. George Smith. Divorced is Mrs. Mary Smith.

Jen4948

As a widow she's Mrs. Husband's Name.

OliveOilsMom

It's Mrs.  And becareful using TK's tools.  They are notoriously glithcy and you may end up losing your entire guestlist.  I would ditch TK's guest list tool now and just use excel.  It could save you a lot of trouble later on.

banana468

Technically a widow is Mrs.  John Smith.

But I recommend asking.   My aunt was widowed at 45 and became Ms.

doeydo

Ok, thanks everyone.

photokitty

NYCMercedes said:

It's Mrs. George Smith. Divorced is Mrs. Mary Smith.

Divorced would be Mrs. still?? Isn't that who point of divorce that you aren't a Mrs. any longer? I'm confused.

ashleyep

photokitty said:

NYCMercedes said:

It's Mrs. George Smith. Divorced is Mrs. Mary Smith.

Divorced would be Mrs. still?? Isn't that who point of divorce that you aren't a Mrs. any longer? I'm confused.

Yes, divorce is still Mrs. unless they choose to go by Ms. It's the reason why you're not supposed to address a married woman as Mrs. Jane Smith - that denotes a divorced woman. Mrs. John Smith is a married woman, or widow.

NYCMercedes

Thank you @ashleyep.

Sandra

Mrs. John Smith is the etiquette but the best would be asking since sometimes they have particular preferences for that.

photokitty

ashleyep said:

photokitty said:

NYCMercedes said:

It's Mrs. George Smith. Divorced is Mrs. Mary Smith.

Divorced would be Mrs. still?? Isn't that who point of divorce that you aren't a Mrs. any longer? I'm confused.

Yes, divorce is still Mrs. unless they choose to go by Ms. It's the reason why you're not supposed to address a married woman as Mrs. Jane Smith - that denotes a divorced woman. Mrs. John Smith is a married woman, or widow.

Or she could be a married woman and kept her own last name. That would be Mrs. Jane Madienname. 

I would have been ticked if anyone ever sent me an invite under my first husband's name - but I legally changed my name back and everyone knew it, so I didn't have to worry about it.

banana468

photokitty said:

ashleyep said:

photokitty said:

NYCMercedes said:

It's Mrs. George Smith. Divorced is Mrs. Mary Smith.

Divorced would be Mrs. still?? Isn't that who point of divorce that you aren't a Mrs. any longer? I'm confused.

Yes, divorce is still Mrs. unless they choose to go by Ms. It's the reason why you're not supposed to address a married woman as Mrs. Jane Smith - that denotes a divorced woman. Mrs. John Smith is a married woman, or widow.


Or she could be a married woman and kept her own last name. That would be Mrs. Jane Madienname. 

I would have been ticked if anyone ever sent me an invite under my first husband's name - but I legally changed my name back and everyone knew it, so I didn't have to worry about it.

A married woman keeping her maiden name generally uses Ms.