Why Are Most Of Ya'll So Negative!!!!

prettybrown27

I don't understand how some of ya'll sit here behind a computer or cell phone and are seriously talking down to people. Some of ya'll have been members since 2009 and come to the "Not Engaged Yet" discussion board just to tell people that they should be planning, or even think about wedding plans. Some of ya'll ar just about the rudest f****n people i've ever seen. Half of yall are already married and still talking s**t to people. You're married already! Go to "The Nest" stop tryna to rain on other people parade all the damn time. Then its some of yall who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you. None and i mean None of ya'll ever have anything nice to say to people who arent engaged yet. If people want to wait 3 to 8 years to get married, then thats on them, but dont try to make other people feel bad for wanting to pre plan, or have ideas. Everybody doesnt have a money tree in their back yard. Some of us have to actually work for their money, and the first thing ya'll say is "you dont know what can happen in (insert number here) years". Its just a bunch of negative ass people on this f****n website!

bethsmiles

phira

The reason people are discouraged from pre-planning is that women are BEYOND encouraged to obsess over their future weddings, to the point where many people end up ruining their relationships because they just want to have their wedding so badly.

The reason why you, personally, have been discouraged from pre-planning is that, besides saying that your relationship is serious, you haven't indicated that there's an engagement even on the horizon. Even if you were engaged, 3 years out is too early to book a venue. 3 years out is too early to know for sure who you'd even want to invite. 3 years out is too early to know for sure what your budget will be.

What people are doing is trying to help you manage your expectations.

There are people who stay on TK after they're married because they've made friends here. There are people who stay on TK because people here often ask for advice from married people. There are other people here who aren't engaged, but came to TK because they were in a wedding or were a guest at a wedding, and needed advice. There are people like me who joined because I was looking for jeweler recommendations for engagement rings, and who just liked it enough to stay and keep chatting with people.

In terms of being rude, no one has been rude--maybe blunt and snarky, but not rude.

Although your post is certainly rude. Half of us are married and should leave, and the rest of us are all lonely with a million cats? Honey, please.

(Edited a typo)

phira

prettybrown27 said:

I don't understand how some of ya'll sit here behind a computer or cell phone and are seriously talking down to people. Some of ya'll have been members since 2009 and come to the "Not Engaged Yet" discussion board just to tell people that they should be planning, or even think about wedding plans. Some of ya'll ar just about the rudest f****n people i've ever seen. Half of yall are already married and still talking s**t to people. You're married already! Go to "The Nest" stop tryna to rain on other people parade all the damn time. Then its some of yall who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you. None and i mean None of ya'll ever have anything nice to say to people who arent engaged yet. If people want to wait 3 to 8 years to get married, then thats on them, but dont try to make other people feel bad for wanting to pre plan, or have ideas. Everybody doesnt have a money tree in their back yard. Some of us have to actually work for their money, and the first thing ya'll say is "you dont know what can happen in (insert number here) years". Its just a bunch of negative ass people on this f****n website!

(Quoting for posterity)

bethsmiles

@phira - I loved your post! You have so much more patience than I do, I was going to type something out then just decided to be lazy and go with a GIF

phira

@bethsmiles Ahaha I actually saw your post and was like, "Aaah this is perfect, I don't even need to say anything, but I'm bored and don't want to get work done."

bethsmiles

I feel like I should just keep some standard replies saved on my computer and then I'd just have to copy and paste them instead of typing them out over and over again!

Simply Fated

There is nothing wrong with looking at ideas and daydreaming but you shouldn't be actually planning your wedding to someone when you haven't agreed to get married. It's like baby proofing your home while still on birth control.


On a side note, it's y'all, not ya'll. Y'all is a contraction between "you" and "all."

buddysmom80

prettybrown27 said:

I don't understand how some of ya'll sit here behind a computer or cell phone and are seriously talking down to people. Some of ya'll have been members since 2009 and come to the "Not Engaged Yet" discussion board just to tell people that they should be planning, or even think about wedding plans. Some of ya'll ar just about the rudest f****n people i've ever seen. Half of yall are already married and still talking s**t to people. You're married already! Go to "The Nest" stop trying to rain on other people parade all the damn time. Then its some of yall who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you. None and i mean None of ya'll ever have anything nice to say to people who arent engaged yet. If people want to wait 3 to 8 years to get married, then thats on them, but dont try to make other people feel bad for wanting to pre plan, or have ideas. Everybody doesnt have a money tree in their back yard. Some of us have to actually work for their money, and the first thing ya'll say is "you dont know what can happen in (insert number here) years". Its just a bunch of negative ass people on this f****n website!

First of all, you must have done some lame ass hard-core stalking to figure out when people joined TK so props to you for making those people feel special.

Second of all, the reason why we don't encourage pre-planning is that you never get this time back with your SO. My BF and I will be engaged by the end of the year, but I'm not doing anything right now because we are just enjoying our time together and doing fun shit, not scouting venues, djs or whatever the hell else you do.

The Nest is lame, so there's that. A lot of ladies on here have formed strong friendships and DON'T want to go to the Nest, not for nothing you can't tell any of us "rudest f*****n people" where to post. You don't like that we blow glitter and rainbows up your ass? Go to Weddingbee. Those bitches are crazy, and they love to pre-plan.

Oh and I must be in the "lonely" category. I only have one cat, thank you. Also I have to STRONGLY disagree with your statement that no one says anything nice to women who come on here that are NEY. I came on here not asking for fucking vendors in the DC/VA/MD area or whatever. I came on here, like "hey guys, you seem cool, I lurked, let's chat" and guess what? These women are the NICEST group of women I have ever talked to. So when you say something like that, you better lurk around here first before spouting off a dumbass statement like that.

I think you're the one that is negative. I think that your crazy ass pre-planning shit will cause the demise of your relationship. Good luck with that, I feel sorry for your BF.

Seriously, get over yourself.

Simply Fated

You came to the NEY board looking for vendors in a specific area? NO ONE was even rude or mean to you... but you still posted this, anyway?

Are you fucking kidding me? You seriously posted this shit when NO ONE in that thread was in the slightest way mean to you?

Are the KG tricking us? Is the moon full? Are people bored while GoT is on hiatus?

I'm full of questions today, aren't I.

MobKaz

Has the campaign for secret agent mods begun?

Swazzle

Swazzle

prettybrown27 said:

I don't understand how some of y'all sit here behind a computer or cell phone and are seriously talking down to people. Some of y'all have been members since 2009 and come to the "Not Engaged Yet" discussion board just to tell people that they shouldn't be planning, or even thinking about wedding plans. Some of y'all are just about the rudest fucking people I've ever seen. Half of y'all are already married and still talking shit to people. You're married already! Go to "The Nest" stop trying to rain on other people's parade all the damn time. Then it's some of y'all who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you. None and I mean none of y'all ever have anything nice to say to people who aren't engaged yet. If people want to wait 3 to 8 years to get married, then that's on them, but don't try to make other people feel bad for wanting to pre-plan or have ideas. Everybody doesn't have a money tree in their backyard. Some of us have to actually work for their money, and the first thing y'all say is "you don't know what can happen in (insert number here) years". It's just a bunch of negative ass people on this fucking website!

FTFY

MobKaz

LivLeighton said:

You have horrible grammar and seem extraordinarily entitled. We keep things honest here and it seems that you're not able to handle honest, constructive feedback. You probably aren't cut out for an online community.

Also, I am NEY and have a dog, a cat, and a hedgehog and I am not lonely. 

So you can take YOUR rudeness and suck it.

@LivLeighton....Sweet Mother of Mary...you have inadvertently just offered up to the KG's their job description for moderator.  PLEASE DELETE!

KeptInStitches

Ho hum.

The kitty on my lap and I are very much not lonely (but my elbow is a little raw from being licked to death). I'll see BF soon enough, no need to rush that. Just like there's really no need to rush planning.

lennonkdc

1) No one here was mean/rude/negative/whatever to you. You asked about venues in a certain area, were directed to your local board and then asked to clarify what 'serious' meant. 

2) The OMH who stay here came on to NEY when they were NEY, got good advice from the OMH who had stuck around to give advice Its the circle of lfe. We're here because we've 'been there', all of us. And many of us who came on here got flamed HARD when we first started posting. If you thought you're replies were 'rude' you should have seen some of what we got. I know I took the hint, backed off, lurked a bit, did some thinking and came back. These ladies are now some of my BFF's. 

3) I understand how exciting it is to know that you are going to marry your SO, and that having that understanding makes the whole engagement thing SEEM fluid. But its not, trust me By way of a personal example let me illustrate- in 2011, after MANY years of dating, SO and I decided that yes, we wanted to spend our lives together, we both 'knew' it but it was the first time we'd really talked about it at length. However, We weren't engaged b/c we couldn't yet afford the wedding we wanted. We were 'serious' but I didn't start planning a wedding. We did, however start saving what we could for our future, be that a wedding, a house, whatever. In 2012, he proposed, but we knew, based on our savings plan, that it was going to take more time to save. I bought a wedding mag, did some research and looked at venues online. Now, in 2013, after buying a house, we're planing. We picked a venue and photog and are meeting with a caterer. I can tell you that after about 6 weeks I am ready to elope. Daydreaming about a wedding = fun! Planning a wedding = HOLY SHIT THAT COST HOW MUCH!?!?!? Moral of the story, its all fun and games till some one puts a ring on your finger. 

4) My advice to you is instead of putting down deposits (most of which are non-refundable) start a savings account with that money. Start building a nest egg, even if its only a few bucks a month. When you're ready to get married, that money will be there, and you'll feel like you're being proactive about your future with out burning yourself out on wedding planning. 

beanbot2002

If I had a penny for every time...

 

 

 

 

 

minskat30

Hey now, I happen to like the ladies here.  Yes, I'm married but why on Earth would that prohibit me from posting on a board for those not engaged yet (and I posted when I was not engaged and these ladies kept me sane and honest)?  That's like saying I can't post on a board about cats because I don't have any. 

And if you and your boyfriend are planning to get married in 2016, you might want to pick up, I don't know, a hobby.  Why don't you just enjoy the time you have with him and your child now and slow your roll until your boyfriend and you actually agree that you are engaged (which can happen without a ring, by the way). 

CASK85

I wish I had a money tree in my backyard. Hell, I'd settle for a backyard at this point. 

Get down off your high horse, sweetie. You go ahead and do whatever you want to do and we'll continue to dole out sound advice to level-headed women.

cu97tiger

prettybrown27 said:

I don't understand how some of ya'll sit here behind a computer or cell phone and are seriously talking down to people. Some of ya'll have been members since 2009 and come to the "Not Engaged Yet" discussion board just to tell people that they should be planning, or even think about wedding plans. Some of ya'll ar just about the rudest f****n people i've ever seen. Half of yall are already married and still talking s**t to people. You're married already! Go to "The Nest" stop tryna to rain on other people parade all the damn time. Then its some of yall who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you. None and i mean None of ya'll ever have anything nice to say to people who arent engaged yet. If people want to wait 3 to 8 years to get married, then thats on them, but dont try to make other people feel bad for wanting to pre plan, or have ideas. Everybody doesnt have a money tree in their back yard. Some of us have to actually work for their money, and the first thing ya'll say is "you dont know what can happen in (insert number here) years". Its just a bunch of negative ass people on this f****n website!

Actually, the reason I still come here occasionally is because when I was not yet engaged, I came to this forum and got some really good advice about living in the moment and not planning ahead. I'll ignore your tone for right now, and just suggest you take the advice for what it is. Good advice by people who have been in your shoes (or are still in your shoes). You have NO IDEA what the next three years holds for you. Enjoy what you have right now, instead of worrying about piddly little details for an event that is literally over 1,000 days away.

cu97tiger

Shall we take bets on whether OP will even show her face here again? Or did she just throw a virtual water balloon at us and run away?

Hummingbird125

prettybrown27 said:

Then its some of yall who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!

minskat30

@Hummingbird125 - hilarious! 

MobKaz

LivLeighton said:

mobkaz said:

LivLeighton said:

You have horrible grammar and seem extraordinarily entitled. We keep things honest here and it seems that you're not able to handle honest, constructive feedback. You probably aren't cut out for an online community.

Also, I am NEY and have a dog, a cat, and a hedgehog and I am not lonely. 

So you can take YOUR rudeness and suck it.

@LivLeighton....Sweet Mother of Mary...you have inadvertently just offered up to the KG's their job description for moderator.  PLEASE DELETE!

I don't get it.

Sorry....sarcasm fail on my part, apparently.  It was in reference to the new "brainstorm" regarding the secret reinstatement of mods.   

GoldenPenguin

This.

GoldenPenguin

GoldenPenguin

leia1979

Right now is when I actually miss the flag button.

motoLyn

You come in here and start spouting that crap, well all I have to say is this "Suck my....." how's that for fuckin rude?!

loves2shop4shoes

prettybrown27 said:

I don't understand how some of ya'll sit here behind a computer or cell phone and are seriously talking down to people. Some of ya'll have been members since 2009 and come to the "Not Engaged Yet" discussion board just to tell people that they should be planning, or even think about wedding plans. Some of ya'll ar just about the rudest f****n people i've ever seen. Half of yall are already married and still talking s**t to people. You're married already! Go to "The Nest" stop tryna to rain on other people parade all the damn time. Then its some of yall who are just lonely as hell with a million cats living with you. None and i mean None of ya'll ever have anything nice to say to people who arent engaged yet. If people want to wait 3 to 8 years to get married, then thats on them, but dont try to make other people feel bad for wanting to pre plan, or have ideas. Everybody doesnt have a money tree in their back yard. Some of us have to actually work for their money, and the first thing ya'll say is "you dont know what can happen in (insert number here) years". Its just a bunch of negative ass people on this f****n website!

Wow.  You're kidding, right?

You've been posting on this board for all of 5 minutes, and you have the audacity to tell us how we ALL UNIFORMLY are.  Some of us have been posting on here for YEARS.

How could you possibly know how we all ARE to ALL newbies?  You haven't been here long enough to be able to know everyone, much less how everyone behaves.  Also, you do realize that each of us regs started out as newbies, and it was a good enough environment for us to want to stay all of these years, right?

Yes, I'm married.  That doesn't mean I should go over to The Nest exclusively.  Just like you're a rude, entitled moron.  That doesn't mean you should go over the WeddingBee to post exclusively.  It's called diversity.  I'll sound it out for you, since your grammar evidences an obviously poor education...DI-VER-SI-TY.  Here, you can even check it out on dictionary.com:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/diversity?s=t

Methinks it's time for you to climb down off your high horse, pull your head out of your arse, and realize that you won't make friends by barging into chat rooms and insulting everyone that regularly posts there.  Indeed, you will get crucified for it.

beanbot2002

motoLyn said:

You come in here and start spouting that crap, well all I have to say is this "Suck my....." how's that for fuckin rude?!

Ummm...are those Brutus' balls? I feel like I'm looking a puppy porn.