I am getting married next year. My FI and I haven't had the discussion about whether or not I should change my name. Here are my hesitations:
1. My 2 children have my maiden name. Their father has never been in the picture. If I change my name, they will be the only 2 (FI has kids with his last name) with a different last name. I know they will be sensitive and won't want me to change my name away from theirs, we are very close and all of us often get called by our last name as a nickname.
2. My FI's ex-wife did not change her name back after their divorce. We live in the same town and have children in the same school. I realize that this would probably be more awkward for her than me to have us both with his last name, but still...it is already weird enough to be running into each other all over the place and at every school function. Plus I am kinda bitter that she didn't change her name back. I am sure I will get angry responses for saying that "it was HER name too" and "she has a RIGHT to the name". Yeah, I hear you. But what woman wants to share her name anyway? Especially with another woman in the same town who was married to the same man?
3. Hyphenating is fine, I am not against it. I have also considered making his last name my middle name?
4. I have this little girl fantasy that my little family could have one last name just like the majority of people, without the hassle and without upsetting any of us. I suppose I'm holding onto that and need to let it go, because that just isn't my situation.
Thanks, knotties. I appreciate your help!