Am I Being a Jerk?

TeriBeri06

My FH and I had an engaement party in July, and we got a few gifts even though we didn't ask for them. They were very thoughtful and much appreciated especially since we didn't prompt them you know...But anyway my FH's cousin bought us a plaque that says "Keep Calm and Say I Do" its cute but I won't get much use out of it. My FH loves it and even called it art and I think I might have hurt his feelings when I said I wouldn't hang that in my livingroom..in fact I may have said the only place I would hang was a bathroom ...All of this came up because we where trying to decide what to get a friend of ours who just got marriedand he wanted to buy them something unique and I wanted to do practical (and unique) but more practical anything. Honestly...what am I ever gonna do with this plaque? And he suggested that we give one to the newlyweds...And like I said his cousin didn't have to get us anything so I appreciate the gesture and it is cute, but it is by far my least favorite gift. We got several beautiful picture frames that we'll be able to use for years, but what are we gonna do with this plaque...Did I mention he called it art work?....Am I being a jerk about this?

heidirs731

I don't think it's being a jerk to express your opinion. I'm like you and prefer more practical things, so I would view the plaque the same way: "what am I going to do with this?"

That said, this is a pretty small issue and to have made a post about it seems to imply that this plaque is causing a good amount of frustration, which it's not worth. I'd just let it go.

jessicabessica

Well, marriage is about compromise, and if your FI likes it, you can't not display it, and I do think it's a jerk move to hurt your FI's feelings over it, especially since it was a gift from one of his family members.  I feel like it's really only relevant right now while you are engaged.  Why don't you take a few photos with it if your FI likes it so much (maybe bring it to your engagement photo shoot, if you're doing one).  Then you can display the plaque for a while if he wants to, and then include a photo of you guys with the plaque in your album and move the plaque itself.  

Why don't you find some cards that say that, and then when you give wedding gifts to others, you can use one of the cards with a practical gift?  I'm sure you could find them on Etsy.  

southernbelle0915

TeriBeri06 said:

My FH and I had an engaement party in July, and we got a few gifts even though we didn't ask for them. They were very thoughtful and much appreciated especially since we didn't prompt them you know...But anyway my FH's cousin bought us a plaque that says "Keep Calm and Say I Do" its cute but I won't get much use out of it. My FH loves it and even called it art and I think I might have hurt his feelings when I said I wouldn't hang that in my livingroom..in fact I may have said the only place I would hang was a bathroom ...All of this came up because we where trying to decide what to get a friend of ours who just got marriedand he wanted to buy them something unique and I wanted to do practical (and unique) but more practical anything. Honestly...what am I ever gonna do with this plaque? And he suggested that we give one to the newlyweds...And like I said his cousin didn't have to get us anything so I appreciate the gesture and it is cute, but it is by far my least favorite gift. We got several beautiful picture frames that we'll be able to use for years, but what are we gonna do with this plaque...Did I mention he called it art work?....Am I being a jerk about this?

I laughed out loud when I read the bolded because it reminds me of a convo H and I would have. 

You're not being a jerk. If you don't like it, you don't like it. The tables will be turned on something you love and he dislikes. Just the way it goes. If he loves it and you really don't, could you hang it in a space where he spends a lot of time, but you don't? Like the garage? Or a workout space? Or the basement/man cave? Or maybe he could bring it to work and hang it in his office if he thinks it's nice art. 

csuave

There are always going to be gifts like this and they really bring out the differences between people that like "cute" gifts and people that like "practical" gifts.  If there is a place you can agree to display it I think it is reasonable to take it down after you are married.  As for what to buy your newlywed friends you can go with just about anything but I suggest you include a gift receipt to avoid this very situation

clg1213

southernbelle0915 said:

You're not being a jerk. If you don't like it, you don't like it. The tables will be turned on something you love and he dislikes. Just the way it goes. If he loves it and you really don't, could you hang it in a space where he spends a lot of time, but you don't? Like the garage? Or a workout space? Or the basement/man cave? Or maybe he could bring it to work and hang it in his office if he thinks it's nice art. 

My thoughts exactly.  Or agree to a more public area but with the understanding you'll take it down or move it after the wedding.

As for the gift giving, perhaps a practical "main" gift and a smaller "fun" item....you get the fun of shopping for and giving something that evokes smiles but don't over-invest in something that won't really see any use and may end up in a box destined for the next garage sale

sovawanea

As a compromise can you offer it to other couple as a something borrowed for the day of? It can stay in storage as a compromise in between weddings or putting it somewhere on display in your own house on anniversaries, but at least you can argue that it is a very sweet gift and is pretty and thoughtful without questioning his taste level. I agree it isn't something I would want in my living room everyday because it is so wedding specific, but it is the kind of thing I might put out with some wedding photos on our anniversary or hang up at an anniversary party. Not all of your art has to be displayed all of the time and not everything you have to store is useless junk.