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2016 Wedding??? Pre Planning???

Last month out of the blue my BF text me saying "we should get married in 2016" i asked him why 2016, he responded "thats just the year i picked".

After that text i didnt know what to do with myself. I started looking at dress, venues, decorations, cakes, writing down a guest list. Everything you can think of i was def surfing the net for it. Then we sat down and talked about where we wanted to have the ceremony/recepetion at, the date, everything. I was just all into the mix.

The i joined theknot.....

 A few post later i realized i was WAY over my head. I think having a guest list is about as far as i want to take this 2016 pre planning wedding thing. Responses from some of the other ladies telling me not to rush,and enjoy my relationship now, I am truely grateful for those few. I do want to enjoy my relationship. I dont want to be expecting a proposal the next holiday, valentines day, anniversay, or my birthday.. because i know i won't be excited. Even though "2016" is still in the back of  my mind, and i really really want to go look at venues, and other fun stuff. I will only take it day by day. I promised myself to not open my 'Wedding Planner" book and not to look at at anymore venues or dresses. The only thing we will continue to do is save $$$. So, thank you to the ladies who were kind, and honest to me about pre planning, I greatly appreciate it.

CLoGreenEyespsychbabe314NYCMercedes

Re: 2016 Wedding??? Pre Planning???

  • That's all anyone can do :-) Nice and slow, even though it feels hard sometimes!

    I have not started a guest list, but I have decided to update my address book and to get current addresses/phone numbers of family members and friends. Nothing to extravagant. Just when I happen to talk to them or see them on facebook send them a message asking how their lives are going, a basic conversation. Then asking them if they still live over by so and so. They will correct me or agree :-) and ask them for a phone number to text them sometime so we can keep in touch. It is something easy to do, but it makes me feel productive but not overwhelmed with thoughts of a future wedding! In a way, it curbs my appetite :-)

  • I don't really even see the point of making a guest list. Your relationships with people could change dramatically by 2016. You will probably have new friends and lost touch with old ones. People's relationships will change - Sally gets married, Bob gets a divorce, Joe has two kids. You might make up a guest list and then FMIL INSISTS so-and-so has to be invited with their whole family.

    I guess updating your address book makes sense for keeping in touch with people but it seems a little silly to do it for the purposes of a wedding when you aren't engaged.

    Even the size of wedding you want could change. This year you want to invite 200, next year you think maybe a small intimate wedding with 30 people, the next you say well maybe 100. You are so far out that even if you were engaged it really just doesn't make sense to do any planning. And I seriously don't understand the need to. Just find a hobby, read a book, go to the gym.
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  • I don't really even see the point of making a guest list. Your relationships with people could change dramatically by 2016. You will probably have new friends and lost touch with old ones. People's relationships will change - Sally gets married, Bob gets a divorce, Joe has two kids. You might make up a guest list and then FMIL INSISTS so-and-so has to be invited with their whole family.

    I guess updating your address book makes sense for keeping in touch with people but it seems a little silly to do it for the purposes of a wedding when you aren't engaged.

    Even the size of wedding you want could change. This year you want to invite 200, next year you think maybe a small intimate wedding with 30 people, the next you say well maybe 100. You are so far out that even if you were engaged it really just doesn't make sense to do any planning. And I seriously don't understand the need to. Just find a hobby, read a book, go to the gym.
    It is not necessarily a set guest list, I know this. It is just to make things easier on me in the future. And also, keep track of my family tree :-) It is hard to keep track of everyone (my mom is 1 of 7 kids, we keep in touch with her cousins, her cousins kids, her siblings (each had about 3 kids), my cousin's and my cousin's kids. My family is rapidly expanding and plus having an up to date address book is good for other things. When I visit them, I will have all of that information at my disposal.

    I do not see it as a guest list, per say. I see it more as an address book. Like I said, this is a once in awhile thing to keep my mind off of knowing my BF plans on proposing to me. I ALSO read, go horseback riding, go to school, work, hang out with friends, etc.

  • buddysmom80buddysmom80
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    edited August 2013
    There are people that I was friends with three years ago that I don't talk to now so making a guest list or whatever is kind of dumb.

    ETA: also you seem really wrapped up in the wedding itself, not the marriage so maybe you should pump your brakes and enjoy your relationship. Save your money and, I don't know, go on vacation?

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  • Last month out of the blue my BF text me saying "we should get married in 2016" i asked him why 2016, he responded "thats just the year i picked".

    After that text i didnt know what to do with myself. I started looking at dress, venues, decorations, cakes, writing down a guest list. Everything you can think of i was def surfing the net for it. Then we sat down and talked about where we wanted to have the ceremony/recepetion at, the date, everything. I was just all into the mix.

    The i joined theknot.....

     A few post later i realized i was WAY over my head. I think having a guest list is about as far as i want to take this 2016 pre planning wedding thing. Responses from some of the other ladies telling me not to rush,and enjoy my relationship now, I am truely grateful for those few. I do want to enjoy my relationship. I dont want to be expecting a proposal the next holiday, valentines day, anniversay, or my birthday.. because i know i won't be excited. Even though "2016" is still in the back of  my mind, and i really really want to go look at venues, and other fun stuff. I will only take it day by day. I promised myself to not open my 'Wedding Planner" book and not to look at at anymore venues or dresses. The only thing we will continue to do is save $$$. So, thank you to the ladies who were kind, and honest to me about pre planning, I greatly appreciate it.

     Wedding Countdown Ticker




    image 59 Invited
    image 28 Yes
    image 0 No
    image 31 Unknown
  • What Liv said.
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • A) Why does your BF get to unilaterally decide in which year you will marry?

    B) No one was rude to you and all posters told you just to enjoy your relationship as it is now, so you should be grateful to all of us. I'm using emphasis like you do, OK?

    C) You can't post a thread like you did and rip people apart and call them lonely cat ladies and then come back on here and expect people to play nice with you. Sorry.
    Exactly this. Especially A actually. Marriages and relationships should be built on equality. Both of you should have a say. 
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  • Last month out of the blue my BF text me saying "we should get married in 2016" i asked him why 2016, he responded "thats just the year i picked".

    After that text i didnt know what to do with myself. I started looking at dress, venues, decorations, cakes, writing down a guest list. Everything you can think of i was def surfing the net for it. Then we sat down and talked about where we wanted to have the ceremony/recepetion at, the date, everything. I was just all into the mix.

    The i joined theknot.....

     A few post later i realized i was WAY over my head. I think having a guest list is about as far as i want to take this 2016 pre planning wedding thing. Responses from some of the other ladies telling me not to rush,and enjoy my relationship now, I am truely grateful for those few. I do want to enjoy my relationship. I dont want to be expecting a proposal the next holiday, valentines day, anniversay, or my birthday.. because i know i won't be excited. Even though "2016" is still in the back of  my mind, and i really really want to go look at venues, and other fun stuff. I will only take it day by day. I promised myself to not open my 'Wedding Planner" book and not to look at at anymore venues or dresses. The only thing we will continue to do is save $$$. So, thank you to the ladies who were kind, and honest to me about pre planning, I greatly appreciate it.

    I'm glad you've come to your senses a bit. Just a little more friendly advice - now would be a good time to stop talking about your wedding around here and start telling us some other things about you and your SO. Otherwise we aren't going to believe that you really are taking it day to day.
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    My planning bio | "You are made of win." -SopChick

    CLoGreenEyes
  • I agree with @cu97tiger and, like I mentioned in other posts, these ladies here are all nice.  If you have an issue with someone, take it up directly with them.  You can certainly post "general" complaints about "most" of us but that is like walking into a big crowd you are a stranger to and yelling out insults about most of the people in the crowd...no one is going to get who the insults are directed at and everyone is going to get offended.  Just my two cents.
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