What do you think of this bridesmaid gift idea?

acj928

I've never been a bridesmaid so I don't really have what to compare for ideas for gifts for my 6 bridesmaids.  My wedding is in NYC so things are pretty expensive.  I am paying for the girls to have their hair and makeup done.  I've picked out some necklaces I like that I would want them to wear with their bridesmaid dresses (they are pretty neutral and could go with anything, I'm sure they would wear it again).  The necklaces I've found are about $65 each.  I also found bracelets I like with an infinity symbol and I would customize for each girl's initial and birthstone to be a charm.  It would be about $32 for each bracelet.  That's close to $600 total (plus the cost of hair and makeup).  In my opinion, that's really what I would like to spend.  Would you be happy with these gifts?

acj928

cap816 said:

I'd think it's nice, but never wear it.  And then you'd have wasted your money.  If you got me something more personal, I'd know you're thinking of me and it wouldn't just be tossed in a drawer.

Is that in answer to both things?  Or only one?  I definitely want to get them the necklaces for the dresses.  

acj928

I'm not CRAZY about the bracelet now that I've read more on this message board.  And if I received it, yeah I'd think it's nice, but I may not wear it really.  Other ideas I like are getting a clutch that's similar but a little different for each girl and maybe a compact mirror with initials or name or something and then some nail polishes or other make up that suits each girl.  All the girls love nail polish and purses and if I received that stuff I know I would find it all very useful.  I'm not rushing into buying any of this stuff yet, just trying to get some ideas and cross some things off my never ending to do list.

acj928

I totally understand your opinion.  I ended up showing the necklaces to my maid of honor and she loved them so I'm sticking to that idea because it's really how I envision the bridal party looking.  I'm not really considering it part of the bridesmaid gifts per se, but I'm taking into consideration that I'm buying it and not asking the girls to buy it.

itzMS

acj928 said:

I've never been a bridesmaid so I don't really have what to compare for ideas for gifts for my 6 bridesmaids.  My wedding is in NYC so things are pretty expensive.  I am paying for the girls to have their hair and makeup done.  I've picked out some necklaces I like that I would want them to wear with their bridesmaid dresses (they are pretty neutral and could go with anything, I'm sure they would wear it again).  The necklaces I've found are about $65 each.  I also found bracelets I like with an infinity symbol and I would customize for each girl's initial and birthstone to be a charm.  It would be about $32 for each bracelet.  That's close to $600 total (plus the cost of hair and makeup).  In my opinion, that's really what I would like to spend.  Would you be happy with these gifts?

acj928 said:

I totally understand your opinion.  I ended up showing the necklaces to my maid of honor and she loved them so I'm sticking to that idea because it's really how I envision the bridal party looking.  I'm not really considering it part of the bridesmaid gifts per se, but I'm taking into consideration that I'm buying it and not asking the girls to buy it.

Paying for the hair and makeup would be gift enough for me...but only you know your crowd.

I have very specific jewelry that I wear every day (gifts/sentimental pieces from DH), so I'd never wear a bridesmaid piece again. A lot of women are the same way.

If it's a brand name, I'd probably sell it on Ebay. If not, it would just stay in my jewelry box unworn and eventually make its way to be a donation to a secondhand shop.

$65 is a lot for a necklace.

acj928

itzMS said:

Paying for the hair and makeup would be gift enough for me...but only you know your crowd.

I have very specific jewelry that I wear every day (gifts/sentimental pieces from DH), so I'd never wear a bridesmaid piece again. A lot of women are the same way.

If it's a brand name, I'd probably sell it on Ebay. If not, it would just stay in my jewelry box unworn and eventually make its way to be a donation to a secondhand shop.

$65 is a lot for a necklace.

You are so right and that's how I am - that's a lot of the reason why I changed my mind about the bracelet idea and would rather pick more practical things I think they will actually use.  As far as the necklace goes, if they don't wear it again - okay.  I really just want it to be worn for the wedding.  But I do know a bunch of the girls switch up their necklaces for outfits when going out so that's even more why I think they would wear it again.  Also, I know $65 is a lot but I haven't found cheaper yet.  I still have time though so I'll still be looking.

photokitty

I have re-worn all the necklaces I have received as a bridesmaid. I love to mix and match, so I think that would be a great gift. The bracelet is not my style. A bottle or wine or champagne is always nice ;-)

mlg78

Jewelry that you require them to wear the day of your wedding is NOT a gift.  A bridesmaid gift needs to be completely unrelated to your wedding.  For me, my MOH is getting a personalized mug with a sentimental quote on it and lots of fancy teas, one BM is getting a figurine from a set she collects and a necklace (not for the wedding), another is getting a bottle of wine her husband claims is her favorite, a wine aerator, and two kitchen towels with cute sayings and the last one is getting two necklaces (again, not for the wedding) that I found on etsy that she'd pinned on Pinterest.

southernbelle0915

I do not like anything with charms or initials, so the bracelet would be a one-time use. I don't know what the necklace looks like, but I don't often like jewelry that other's choose, so that might be a one-time use also.

Paying for hair and make-up would be plenty for me. If you want to get them something physical, I'd take the $97 you plan on spending on these items and buy them each something personal.   

photokitty

mlg78 said:

Jewelry that you require them to wear the day of your wedding is NOT a gift.  A bridesmaid gift needs to be completely unrelated to your wedding. 

I'm going disagree on this one. Just like brides shouldn't expect anything more than showing up on time with a smile and the chosen dress. Bridesmaids shouldn't expect to be rewarded with baubles and prizes. I have received gifts that were for the day and nothing else countless times and have never been disappointed. If you're doing it for a gift, you're doing it for the wrong reason :-)

acj928

Thanks for all the input!

daveANDkristen

photokitty said:

mlg78 said:

Jewelry that you require them to wear the day of your wedding is NOT a gift.  A bridesmaid gift needs to be completely unrelated to your wedding. 

I'm going disagree on this one. Just like brides shouldn't expect anything more than showing up on time with a smile and the chosen dress. Bridesmaids shouldn't expect to be rewarded with baubles and prizes. I have received gifts that were for the day and nothing else countless times and have never been disappointed. If you're doing it for a gift, you're doing it for the wrong reason :-)

I would never be a bridesmaid for a gift.  But as a bride, it is polite to give a gift as a thank you for the time & money that your WP has spent on you.  This is why we recommend gifting something unrelated to the wedding.  A gift should be purchased with the recipient in mind. 

Let's say you were having a baby, and you I knew you wanted to do a superhero nursery.  But I really prefer dinosaurs, so I decide to buy you the dinosaur crib set instead.  Sure, it's still a gift, but I bought it because I like it, not because I think you will like it. 

daveANDkristen

OP, I think paying for their hair & makeup and buying them a necklace is very generous.  Instead of spending the $32 apiece for the bracelet, I would suggest putting that money (or however much you want) toward something else that you do think they'd enjoy.  If you think they would all like a purse/clutch, go for it!  But even with that, don't worry about the purses matching. 

acj928

daveANDkristen said:

OP, I think paying for their hair & makeup and buying them a necklace is very generous.  Instead of spending the $32 apiece for the bracelet, I would suggest putting that money (or however much you want) toward something else that you do think they'd enjoy.  If you think they would all like a purse/clutch, go for it!  But even with that, don't worry about the purses matching. 

Thank you.  Yeah I decided against that bracelet.  I guess I thought it was customary to pay for their hair and makeup but maybe it is not?

photokitty

daveANDkristen said:

photokitty said:

mlg78 said:

Jewelry that you require them to wear the day of your wedding is NOT a gift.  A bridesmaid gift needs to be completely unrelated to your wedding. 

I'm going disagree on this one. Just like brides shouldn't expect anything more than showing up on time with a smile and the chosen dress. Bridesmaids shouldn't expect to be rewarded with baubles and prizes. I have received gifts that were for the day and nothing else countless times and have never been disappointed. If you're doing it for a gift, you're doing it for the wrong reason :-)

I would never be a bridesmaid for a gift.  But as a bride, it is polite to give a gift as a thank you for the time & money that your WP has spent on you.  This is why we recommend gifting something unrelated to the wedding.  A gift should be purchased with the recipient in mind. 

Let's say you were having a baby, and you I knew you wanted to do a superhero nursery.  But I really prefer dinosaurs, so I decide to buy you the dinosaur crib set instead.  Sure, it's still a gift, but I bought it because I like it, not because I think you will like it. 

I don't think any bride picks out a necklace that she thinks people won't like. Inevitably, every gift she picks runs the risk of not being appreciated by the WP. It all comes down to personal choice. Her WP might have loved the initial bracelets that everyone talked OP out of getting. On the Bold - To suggest a comparison of buying baby nursery decor it would appear you are suggesting we should have the WP register for their gift so we get them something they picked - apples to oranges on that example.

@acj928 - it is not customary where I live, but it is incredibly generous of you. If I am in a WP and my hair and makeup is covered that is the best gift I could receive since it is saving me $100! You are very thoughtful! GL :-)

acj928

Thank you photokitty 

daveANDkristen

photokitty said:

I don't think any bride picks out a necklace that she thinks people won't like. Inevitably, every gift she picks runs the risk of not being appreciated by the WP. It all comes down to personal choice. Her WP might have loved the initial bracelets that everyone talked OP out of getting. On the Bold - To suggest a comparison of buying baby nursery decor it would appear you are suggesting we should have the WP register for their gift so we get them something they picked - apples to oranges on that example.

1.  Yes, her WP might have loved the braceletes, but after just ONE person suggested that she probably wouldn't like the bracelet, OP said she was rethinking it anyway. 

 

2.  Apples to Oranges?  Wrong.  I didn't say the expectant mother in my example REGISTERED for anything, nor was I suggesting that the WP should register for their gifts.  I said, if you think that the person you are buying a gift for would not like or have any use for an item, but buy it anyway because YOU like it, it's not a great gift idea.

 

 

mlg78

acj928 said:

daveANDkristen said:

OP, I think paying for their hair & makeup and buying them a necklace is very generous.  Instead of spending the $32 apiece for the bracelet, I would suggest putting that money (or however much you want) toward something else that you do think they'd enjoy.  If you think they would all like a purse/clutch, go for it!  But even with that, don't worry about the purses matching. 

Thank you.  Yeah I decided against that bracelet.  I guess I thought it was customary to pay for their hair and makeup but maybe it is not?

You are not required to pay for hair and makeup -- only if you expect it to be professionally done where you're requesting.  Two of my four girls want their professionally done so they're paying for it but I'm certainly not requiring it.  The other two are doing it themselves.

daveANDkristen

acj928 said:

 

Thank you.  Yeah I decided against that bracelet.  I guess I thought it was customary to pay for their hair and makeup but maybe it is not?

If the bride is requiring the WP to have their hair and/or makeup done, then yes she should pay for it.  If you don't care one way or the other but offer to pay for those that want it, that is generous.  In my case, I told them they could do whatever they wanted.  All of them decided to get their hair done with my mom and I, but we all did our own makeup.  Everyone paid for herself.

acj928

cmkktd719 said:

First of all, you are a very generous bride and the girls are lucky to have the bride herself paying for their hair and makeup because, yowza, that's an expense right there. I got my girls necklaces that were custom made to wear with there BM dresses, but I don't know how often they wear them anymore. It sounds like you've decided that's what you want to do, but I recently came across this website and my first thought was, "That would be such a great bridesmaid's gift!" They are a candle company that sells luxury soy candles, but in every candle you have a precious gem like topaz, amethyst, ruby, peridot, etc, that's hidden in a glass vile so when you melt it down, you have your own gem that you can set into a necklace, ring, or whatever you want. I thought it was so cool. In case you are still wanting to keep your options open I copied the link below. They are reasonably priced and they smell really good!

Good luck and congrats!

http://preciousgemcandles.com/

Thank you for the suggestion

photokitty

daveANDkristen said:

photokitty said:

I don't think any bride picks out a necklace that she thinks people won't like. Inevitably, every gift she picks runs the risk of not being appreciated by the WP. It all comes down to personal choice. Her WP might have loved the initial bracelets that everyone talked OP out of getting. On the Bold - To suggest a comparison of buying baby nursery decor it would appear you are suggesting we should have the WP register for their gift so we get them something they picked - apples to oranges on that example.

1.  Yes, her WP might have loved the braceletes, but after just ONE person suggested that she probably wouldn't like the bracelet, OP said she was rethinking it anyway. 

 

2.  Apples to Oranges?  Wrong.  I didn't say the expectant mother in my example REGISTERED for anything, nor was I suggesting that the WP should register for their gifts.  I said, if you think that the person you are buying a gift for would not like or have any use for an item, but buy it anyway because YOU like it, it's not a great gift idea.

 

 

JeeGooDowster

You are very generous and a very nice bride!

I think hair/makeup and necklaces are enough.  That is one less thing that your bridesmaids have to worry about.  The other accessories they may not care so much - although a cute idea with the bracelets!  Make sure to ask for some sort of bridesmaid discount since you are getting 6 necklaces.

I got my bridesmaids their shoes and necklaces to wear with their dress.

daveANDkristen

photokitty said:

Cute gif and all, but it's a little hard to see your side when you reply with no text at all.  You responded to my earlier post and included two incorrect points, so I replied to them.  I'm assuming from your lack of reply that you are simply unable to form one.

photokitty

daveANDkristen said:

photokitty said:

Cute gif and all, but it's a little hard to see your side when you reply with no text at all.  You responded to my earlier post and included two incorrect points, so I replied to them.  I'm assuming from your lack of reply that you are simply unable to form one.

I can form one, but you keep sending back irrelevant, ridiculous ones. Such as implying the WP would not like/ have a use for a necklace just bc the bride liked it and wanted them to wear it in the wedding. I think it is a great gift idea. It's not like she said she was going to buy them their bouquets as gifts - a necklace can be worn again.

That said, I don't think it's worth trying to convince you otherwise, we are all entitled to our own opinion. And I still think your example was a poor one. Moving on...

daveANDkristen

photokitty said:

daveANDkristen said:

photokitty said:

 

Cute gif and all, but it's a little hard to see your side when you reply with no text at all.  You responded to my earlier post and included two incorrect points, so I replied to them.  I'm assuming from your lack of reply that you are simply unable to form one.

I can form one, but you keep sending back irrelevant, ridiculous ones. Such as implying the WP would not like/ have a use for a necklace just bc the bride liked it and wanted them to wear it in the wedding. I think it is a great gift idea. It's not like she said she was going to buy them their bouquets as gifts - a necklace can be worn again.

That said, I don't think it's worth trying to convince you otherwise, we are all entitled to our own opinion. And I still think your example was a poor one. Moving on...

Do you have some personal issue with me?  I didn't say that a necklace or a bracelet was a shitty gift.  I said don't buy something as a gift (WP or not) if it's not something you think they will like.  I was basically agreeing with OP, since she already said she decided against the bracelet and would try to think of something they would like better.  I don't understand how that is irrelevant or ridiculous.  I also don't see what is so poor about my example (the only attempt you made at explaining this was that I implied the WP should register). 

photokitty

daveANDkristen said:

Do you have some personal issue with me? 

Nope. Have a fun holiday weekend

daveANDkristen

photokitty said:

daveANDkristen said:

Do you have some personal issue with me? 

Nope. Have a fun holiday weekend

annathy03

acj928 said:

daveANDkristen said:

OP, I think paying for their hair & makeup and buying them a necklace is very generous.  Instead of spending the $32 apiece for the bracelet, I would suggest putting that money (or however much you want) toward something else that you do think they'd enjoy.  If you think they would all like a purse/clutch, go for it!  But even with that, don't worry about the purses matching. 

Thank you.  Yeah I decided against that bracelet.  I guess I thought it was customary to pay for their hair and makeup but maybe it is not?

It's only customary if you're requiring professional makeup.  If you are fine with them doing their makeup themselves then it's very generous to offer professional hair/makeup.

I'm glad you've decided against the bracelets, I think different clutches with nail polish sound fun if your BMs all enjoy that sort of thing and hopefully you can find a similar necklace for less than $65 before the wedding, that's really high!

MyNameIsNot

Anything for your wedding is not a gift for them.  Giving them the wedding jewelry as a gift would be the same as telling them their bouquets are gifts to them.  It's part of your wedding, not a gift.

A BM gift doesn't need to be expensive or extravagant, but you should get them a little something that isn't related to the wedding.  If you really love the bracelets, go for it, but I'd spend that $30 on something personalized for each of them.  No one is going to notice or care what jewelry your BMs are wearing.  It's easier to let them wear their own jewelry.  

Hair and make up, if required, are the responsibility of the bride regardless.  That's not a gift at all.  

Blue_Bird

I might like the infinity bracelet, but I wouldn't want a necklace that five of my friends own. That isn't a gift. It's part of their uniform. This is not meant as an criticism of you personally, but I often find it a bit odd when women stress about what to give their bridesmaids for gifts. If they just take their wedding out of the equation, and use it as an opportunity to give your loved one something that you know he or she would personally like as a token of your appreciation, it should be easy. No stranger is going to be able to figure out what your friends/family would like better than you would, as you know the person. I would scrap the idea of matching gifts, and if you want to spend that much, spend it on personal gifts, because the only actual gift out of everything you've mentioned is the bracelet.

Viczaesar

Blue_Bird said:

I might like the infinity bracelet, but I wouldn't want a necklace that five of my friends own. That isn't a gift. It's part of their uniform. This is not meant as an criticism of you personally, but I often find it a bit odd when women stress about what to give their bridesmaids for gifts. If they just take their wedding out of the equation, and use it as an opportunity to give your loved one something that you know he or she would personally like as a token of your appreciation, it should be easy. No stranger is going to be able to figure out what your friends/family would like better than you would, as you know the person. I would scrap the idea of matching gifts, and if you want to spend that much, spend it on personal gifts, because the only actual gift out of everything you've mentioned is the bracelet.

Thumbs up.  (Except I would hate that bracelet, and not just because I don't wear bracelets.)

Anything someone buys me something that she also bought 5 other people and that she expects me to wear to match her vision of how I should look at an event is not a present.