Plus One Help

RJD5

My fiance and I are paying for our wedding completely out of pocket. We chose a small venue that can only accommodate 100 people. As such, we have to be very frugal when it comes to the guest list, and, bad as it may seem, the "plus 1" option was the first to go; we both come from large families and it's been a nightmare enough to cut it down to 100 people (we're still stuck at about 140 already).

FI has twin cousins that are 21 or 22. One of the cousins ("brother A") has been with the same girl for 6 years and she's basically a part of the family and has become good friends with FI and I. We planned on inviting her, but not as his plus one, but as a separate invite; she'll get her own addressed to only her and sent to her own house. The other brother (brother "B") was in a relationship for about 2 years and we were planning on the same since that girl and I had become close friends.

However, brother "B" and his girlfriend broke up about a month ago and I just found out that he just started dating a 17 yr old that he just met over the summer. Are we obligated to invite her now since we are inviting the SO of brother "A" or are we covered by our overall "no plus one" thing?

I know this is treading thin water.

KeptInStitches

You are obligated to invite all SOs, which includes B's new girlfriend. A's girlfriend should be invited with him on the same invitation as well.

Simply Fated

I don't know what inviting Brother A's gf has to do with inviting this new girl. I'm confused by that.
All SOs should be invited, so you should invite this new girl.

misssunshine17

Invite the new girl. 

PS- I think you're confused as to what a plus one is.A plus one is for truly single guests. If anyone considers themselves in a relationship (not our place to judge) live together, engaged, FB official... they need to be invited as a couple. To not do this is totally rude and how can people want to celebrate your marriage when you're not respecting their relationship. 

banana468

misssunshine17 said:

Invite the new girl. 

PS- I think you're confused as to what a plus one is.A plus one is for truly single guests. If anyone considers themselves in a relationship (not our place to judge) live together, engaged, FB official... they need to be invited as a couple. To not do this is totally rude and how can people want to celebrate your marriage when you're not respecting their relationship. 

This 100%

APDSS22

They already covered the difference between a plus one and a SO so I won't reiterate that point. You're at 140 and your venue holds 100. Instead of disrespecting guests' relationships, why not cut family you're not super close to ( like great aunt Mildred whom you've met once?) The only other option is to find a different venue that will hold your complete guest list.

HisGirlFriday13

Other PPs covered the plus-one rule perfectly.

The best way to figure out the invite list is to draw up a guest list -- several, maybe -- of people you MUST have, WOULD LIKE to have, etc. Figure out the size of your guest list THEN pick a venue; don't try to cut your list to fit a venue.

You need to find a new venue that can accommodate all your guests.

NYCMercedes

What are you going to do if 140, or 141 all show up?

RebeccaB88

Your choices are to find a new venue that will fit 140, or cut your guest list to 100. No other option will work.  Some brides on here have reported 100% acceptance of the invitation and have had to scramble at the last minute to find a new venue and more money. Don't plan on people saying no.  You will probably be surprised at who decides to make the effort to come.