Wedding Woes

How do I tell my fiance his friends can't stay with us on our wedding night?

My fiance has told his groomsmen that they/their dates are welcome to stay with us on our wedding night at the ranch house my parents rented. The house was rented for my fiance and I to have as our first night together. He's also told them there will be an "after party" there. I'm NOT okay with this. His groomsmen are from about 15 miles from the venue, and most of my bridesmaids are from out of town. I've already told my bridesmaids they are on their own for lodging the night of the wedding--which they already assumed. I do not want to spend our wedding night with his jerk friends or have an after party. How do I tell him NO negotiating on this or what do I do?

Answers

  • blueobsidianblueobsidian member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    You sit down with him and have an adult conversation and let him know how you feel.  How have you approached him when you disagreed on other issues during your relationship?  How is your communication normally?  Are you guys generally the kind of people that would throw/attend after parties, so he might have just assumed that's what you would want?

    Perhaps start with, "FI, I was really hoping to have a romantic evening just the two of us after our wedding."
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • You just need to tell him how you feel without getting emotional. Something like "I wasn't expecting to have a party, and I would rather spend the night with you. I already told my BMs that they will need to find their own lodging. Is it ok if we skip the after-party?"
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Tell him how you feel.  Avoid focusing on the "jerk friends", but rather what you had hoped for or originally planned to do instead.  


    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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  • If it was me, I would  plan a small after party (even if it just your wedding party and close friends). I think the best plan is to hold it at a bar so there would be a finite closing time and professionals would be monitoring folks getting too drunk.That way no one could linger for too long or pass out on your bed before you can! I think that would be a more attractive compromise and you would both get to hang out and unwind with your friends before the romance starts.   
  • I would just tell him that as long as his friends are there, he will not be "getting any" on the wedding night. Problem solved. But seriously, just see if you can have a small after party if it is really that important to him. 
  • The fact that you think his friends are jerks and you don't feel comfortable enough with him to talk about plans like this bodes poorly for your marriage.

    That said, am I alone in giving an "after-party" a wtf?  The reception IS the party.  How in the hell many parties in a row are needed for the same damn event?!
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  • don't go, liz lemon! there's still an after after after after after after party! hey, whose roof is this?
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  • Seriously - please stop flooding all the boards with the same comment.
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