Ring prices

Blackbird230

First of all; disclaimer, you don't have to post any of your ring prices. 

Recently someone in a post mentioned a girl going crazy that she had to have a $50k engagement ring. My new brother-in-law had the 3 months salary rule in his head and went all out to get my sister a custom green sapphire with an insane setting and she ended up wanting a more detailed band because she knew she wouldn't want to wear her e-ring all the time because it cost so much and was so big! I'd be happy even if my BF gave me a $200 ring because quite frankly, it's not the amount that counts in my head. Like we've talked briefly about it since we know we're moving in in the spring probably and stuff, but he was all worried because I like blue sapphires and they aren't that expensive. I know the whole diamond industry marketing thing raises prices and all. Kind of rambling here, but general thoughts?

emmyg65

Did you know that DeBeers uses the "two months salary" rule in the U.S., but "one month" or "three months" in other countries? And the "A Diamond Is Forever" slogan was developed to limit he resale market so everyone has to buy new rings. So yeah, that's all a lot of marketing gunk. I think you should find a ring approach that makes both of you comfortable. There are many, many ways to go about this.

My husband has a friend who wanted a really fancy ring that her fiancé couldn't really afford, so she bought it. On the other end of the spectrum, I didn't want an engagement ring at all, just a nice wedding band. My husband ended up buying me a ring to wear only during the engagement that was maybe $50. Some couples both wear engagement rings. 

This is really such a personal issue that I don't have any opinions, other than that you shouldn't go into debt for the ring. An I do think the ring giver should take the ring receiver's tastes into account, maybe even to the extent of looking at rings together first.

CLoGreenEyes

Like you, I would be perfectly happy with a $200 ring. To me, it's more important that he picks out something he believes I'll like; and it's important that I appreciate the effort he went through to pick out said ring. I don't want him to spend weeks' and months' worth of wages just to buy me a ring, because honestly, if he took a single day's earnings just to buy me a gift, I would be incredibly grateful. It's so much more about the gesture and the symbolism than the amount he spent.

KeptInStitches

emmyg65 said:

Did you know that DeBeers uses the "two months salary" rule in the U.S., but "one month" or "three months" in other countries? And the "A Diamond Is Forever" slogan was developed to limit he resale market so everyone has to buy new rings. So yeah, that's all a lot of marketing gunk. I think you should find a ring approach that makes both of you comfortable. There are many, many ways to go about this.

My husband has a friend who wanted a really fancy ring that her fiancé couldn't really afford, so she bought it. On the other end of the spectrum, I didn't want an engagement ring at all, just a nice wedding band. My husband ended up buying me a ring to wear only during the engagement that was maybe $50. Some couples both wear engagement rings. 

This is really such a personal issue that I don't have any opinions, other than that you shouldn't go into debt for the ring. An I do think the ring giver should take the ring receiver's tastes into account, maybe even to the extent of looking at rings together first.

This. I know that when my mom and dad got engaged, he didn't have a ring because she was so firm on wanting to pick out her own - after all, it was going to be on her finger forever. They got a ring a couple of weeks later.

Hummingbird125

I think, as with any gift, it depends what you can comfortably afford AND what you feel the recipient will like. Taking into account my BF's salary, and our financial needs for the future, I expect that he'll spend around $1500 when the time comes. When he asked me for some examples of what I'd like, the three I sent him ranged from $900 to $1800 (all moissanite). If he spent much more than that I would probably be upset because we need other things - like new tires, a new couch, and a wall unit air conditioner - that I would much prefer buying than getting a slightly more expensive ring! If you are with a partner that has the financial ability to spend a lot of money on a ring, and that's what you want - I have no problem with it. I do have a problem with women (like my friend, the 50k ring girl) who expect their BF to spend a huge percentage of their yearly salary on a ring, when that's obviously something he doesn't feel comfortable with.

KeptInStitches

BF also asked me for examples of what I liked, and we ended up in the ~$1000 area for engagement ring + wedding band. We also looked in moissanite. I'm curious, @hummingbird125 - are you looking at the forever brilliant enhancement? It's something I'm seriously considering, but it does add $130 to the price right now.

Hummingbird125

@KeptinStitches - I don't think I looked at that. To be honest, we were both a little buzzed when he asked me to give him examples, and I did it quickly before I could chicken out. I just wanted to make sure he knew the general styles I liked, and the fact that I was NOT expecting him to spend too much money. I also wanted to make sure he know that I like moissanite (since he probably didn't even know it existed prior to this). I'm hoping he lets me know when he's actually looking, because I'd like to give him a few other suggestions (like the rose gold/morganite rings we were all talking about a while ago!).

Swazzle

I don't think there should be any rules when it comes to engagement rings because it's such a personal thing on every level. My H decided on his budget and that's where we started our search. Had his budget been less, we would have looked at rings in that price range. Same if it had been more. I was glad he wanted to look together to get my input since it's something I'll be wearing every day for the rest of my life. 

buddysmom80

Originally (like in January) my mom came to visit and brought a few of her diamonds (my grandparents owned a jewelry store and when they closed, divyed (sp?) up the expensive diamonds amongst their kids) and I thought at the time I LOVED emerald cut diamonds. BF's friend is a manager at a mid-sized jewelry store here in CT. He got a emerald cut diamond and BF put a deposit on it to hold it. While shopping for settings, I didn't like anything that would fit an emerald cut diamond so back to the drawing board. I also felt bad about BF spending so much money on a piece of jewelry. I really wanted moissanite or a sapphire and he was against that. I still want moissanite, so maybe I'll just buy myself a pair of earrings.

In June, BF suggested we go to big-chain jewelers to see if I like any other cuts since I can't remember what I liked in January (I can't remember what I did last week, my short-term memory is horrible). We went to Zales first and I liked their cushion cuts so I was leaning towards that. Once again, felt guilty about BF spending that much money. The salewoman told BF that they have a diamond trade-in/used diamond buying event once every three months if "he wanted to go that route". I thought it was an awesome idea. Eventually I decided I liked round cuts the best and was chatting on the phone with my mom about it and she said she would give us her diamond from her engagement ring that my dad picked out 40 years ago. I was ecstatic since it was free and an heirloom and a gorgeous diamond!

We still have to buy a setting but the jeweler BF is working with we've been using for years. He gave BF a good deal on the settings we picked out which is nice since I think the diamond industry inflates their prices so much. As far as I know right now, they have the settings I picked out set with placer CZ's (so that BF can get an idea of how my mom's diamond is going to look in the settings) and we get the diamond this weekend. After that, no clue when it's going to happen.

I don't tell a lot of people IRL what's going on because the one person I did tell she said: "you're going to wear a used diamond????" So I've kept my mouth shut about it with people I work with, etc. That's probably why I have verbal diarrhea here.

Anyway, long story short, I'm all about getting the best bang for your buck and I don't think there's anything wrong with alternate stones (ie: non-diamond rings) and/or buying used or obtaining used diamonds. If you think about it, Great Britain's Royal Jewels are composed of used or acquired jewels. Also, my hero, Kate Middleton has a used e-ring, so I'm defintely not putting it down.

Blackbird230

What do you guys think about the difference between natural and lab created stones? I know that's another debate in the jewelry world. I love the bright blue of sapphires, but the naturals are darker. Only the lab created get the same brightness.

bethsmiles

@buddysmom80 - I don't know what people have against used e-rings or diamonds. I think a lot of times they are even more special because they have a history to them! The only time I wouldn't want a used diamond was if BF used it to propose to someone else.

BF and I didn't really discuss prices. I never wanted a diamond so the rings we looked at together weren't all that expensive.

CLoGreenEyes

@buddysmom80, I can't believe someone said that to you! I don't even have words to respond to that foolishness. I think it's very meaningful to use a stone or ring from another family member!

Hummingbird125

Kait said:

What do you guys think about the difference between natural and lab created stones? I know that's another debate in the jewelry world. I love the bright blue of sapphires, but the naturals are darker. Only the lab created get the same brightness.

I don't really have a preference since I haven't looked into different stones too much (other than moissanite). I think diamonds are very pretty, but just not worth the pricetag. Not really familiar with the prices of other stones. I really think it all comes down to personal preference. I've seen some e-rings that I would never want for myself, but the only thing that matters is that the wearer loves it. The only thing I DON'T like is if someone were to lie about their ring. I don't think this means the wearer has to announce whether her stone isn't a diamond or whatever, but I don't think she should say it is if it isn't. I know someone who has done this and it always rubs me the wrong way.

buddysmom80

@bethsmiles and @amapola14 The girl who said this to me made her now-H exchange her e-ring twice for something bigger so I think I opened up to the wrong person . I think she's stuck with the whole 3 months salary thing where I just have a very idgaf attitude about it. He could propose to me with a ring pop and I'd be happy.

I love heirloom jewelry so I'm so excited about getting my mom's diamond. I hope it's something I can pass down to my kids if we decide to have any.

CLoGreenEyes

Wowwwww. She sounds charming. Not.

CLoGreenEyes

Kait said:

What do you guys think about the difference between natural and lab created stones? I know that's another debate in the jewelry world. I love the bright blue of sapphires, but the naturals are darker. Only the lab created get the same brightness.

With regard to this, I don't even care. If want it to be fair trade if it was natural, and otherwise I just want it to be pretty.

Blackbird230

buddysmom80 said:

@bethsmiles and @amapola14 The girl who said this to me made her now-H exchange her e-ring twice for something bigger so I think I opened up to the wrong person . I think she's stuck with the whole 3 months salary thing where I just have a very idgaf attitude about it. He could propose to me with a ring pop and I'd be happy.

I love heirloom jewelry so I'm so excited about getting my mom's diamond. I hope it's something I can pass down to my kids if we decide to have any.

Love this. BF has joked that he would try and leave fake rings around our place when he did finally propose and one of the fake ones he mentioned was a ring pop!

bethsmiles

Kait said:

What do you guys think about the difference between natural and lab created stones? I know that's another debate in the jewelry world. I love the bright blue of sapphires, but the naturals are darker. Only the lab created get the same brightness.

I don't really care as long as it's pretty and sparkly. If I was getting a diamond I would want it to be fair trade like @Amapola14 said.

@buddysmom80 - If BF proposed with a ring pop I would be thrilled. Ring pops are awesome!

buddysmom80

@bethsmiles I agree! Ring pops are delish!

Blackbird230

@bethsmiles and @buddysmom80, I think we need to start a whole marketing campaign for why girls should receive ring pops instead of diamonds. lol.

Peaseblossom55

I told FI I wanted to be surprised.  Spend what he felt comfortable with I would be happy and say yes to a twist tie.  I did say I would not feel comfortable wearing anything more than $3000.  I was surprised with what I got and the diamond was bigger and of higher quality than I expected. I know he spent more than double what I was comfortable with.  Since we didn't shop together I didn't get a say so I can't complain.  I won't though I love my ring soooooooooo much.

queenofhearts1728

I would be happy with whatever my BF picked out, I'm sure. I know he knows way more about jewelry than I do and I know he would pick or create something amazing.

I can't imagine shelling out as much as some people do for rings though... or demanding a specific price point. If it's worth more than your car, there's a problem IMO.

lennonkdc

FI proposed with piece of costume jewelry, I gave 0 fucks, I was just so ready to be engaged! 

When he went to pick out a ring, we used a stone from one of my mom's rings. I loved being able to use an heirloom stone, not just for the cost savings, but for the sentimental value too!

As far as the picking it out together vs. him alone- I think it comes down to the couple. For example, I really wanted to look together, but it was really important to FI to do it on his own. In his mind, this was the biggest gift he was ever going to buy for me, and he wanted to pick a setting that was perfect. He ALWAYS puts a lot of thought into gifts, and he wanted to pick something on his own. I trusted him and I am SO happy I did. He kept my taste in mind, as I knew he would, and picked out a ring that was perfect! I love my e-ring all the more b/c of the time and thought he put into it. 

KeptInStitches

Kait said:

What do you guys think about the difference between natural and lab created stones? I know that's another debate in the jewelry world. I love the bright blue of sapphires, but the naturals are darker. Only the lab created get the same brightness.

I prefer the darker look of the naturals, especially in emeralds. It's an aesthetics thing for me, though.

loves2shop4shoes

When DH and I were talking about getting engaged, he asked me what kind of ring I wanted.  I wasn't quite sure, so we went looking and tried some rings on.  We decided on a budget that we felt comfortable in, and DH proposed with EXACTLY the kind of ring I wanted.

My ring: 

-Center stone:  1.0 ct, cushion cut, E color, clarity good (can't remember specifics)
-Stones on band 0.7 ct (ish), G color
-Price:  Within our budget

Note:  I would've been happy with any ring.  If our budget was smaller, I would've adjusted my search accordingly.  If our budget was larger, I probably would've gotten the exact same ring, set in platinum instead of 18k white gold.

CLoGreenEyes

bubbles053009 said: My BF and I have agreed about this ring for my engagement ring when he proposes(Ring). It's really pretty and perfect for us both.

But I think it's ridiculous how much some people expect to be spent on an engagement ring.

@bubbles053009, I. love. the ring you guys picked out! Omigosh, peridot is my favorite stone, and Gemvara has some very pretty settings for them. Sometimes when I need a little ring porn that really hits the spot, lol.

phira

We had a custom made ring, with 10k white gold and a 0.32c natural sapphire. It was $1200 ish (with tax). I'll talk more later, in class now about to present.

EDIT:

Okay, done with class!

So, I never wanted an engagement ring--I have strong feelings about the diamond industry and the transactional nature of engagement rings. My partner really wanted to get me an engagement ring, though, so we agreed to do something small, and not a diamond. (And we agreed to get HIM a ring, too).

We honestly only wanted to spend $500 total on both rings, and originally, I wanted to split the difference between the two rings (I didn't plan on wearing mine after the wedding, so why spend tons of money on it?).

We ended up spending a lot more on my ring when it became clear that we didn't like ANYTHING in our price range. It was tough for both of us to increase the price we'd be willing to pay for something we loved; we ended up picking a much cheaper ring for him (titanium instead of gold, for example).

We would have preferred a synthetic stone. There's no structural difference (except that lab-created stones have no defects ever)--it's the same exact material as the natural stones. However, we LOVE our jeweler, and they only do natural stones.

I love my ring, and I'm happy that we have it, but I would have been happy with something much cheaper.

suzie211

emmyg65 said:

Did you know that DeBeers uses the "two months salary" rule in the U.S., but "one month" or "three months" in other countries? And the "A Diamond Is Forever" slogan was developed to limit he resale market so everyone has to buy new rings. So yeah, that's all a lot of marketing gunk. I think you should find a ring approach that makes both of you comfortable. There are many, many ways to go about this.

My husband has a friend who wanted a really fancy ring that her fiancé couldn't really afford, so she bought it. On the other end of the spectrum, I didn't want an engagement ring at all, just a nice wedding band. My husband ended up buying me a ring to wear only during the engagement that was maybe $50. Some couples both wear engagement rings. 

This is really such a personal issue that I don't have any opinions, other than that you shouldn't go into debt for the ring. An I do think the ring giver should take the ring receiver's tastes into account, maybe even to the extent of looking at rings together first.

I could not agree with this more.  It is all marketing, and silly.  Marketing spin affects so many judgements in life, and this is just one well known example.  My personal stance is to spend what you are comfortable with and buy something that makes you both happy.  This could be a ring pop or Beyonce's finger skating rink.

H is in a very comfortable spot in his career, and I would've killed him if he had spent 2-3 months salary.  We went to the jeweler together to get an idea of our must haves, but did not talk budget while I was around.   H determined his budget and then worked with the jeweler on a ring that fit our wants and his budget.  His budget could've been $10 for all I knew.  I still have no idea what he spent, but know he was within his budget and did not spend excessively.  I was just happy to be marrying the man.

Now, I also would not side-eye a couple that does spend $50k plus on a ring if they can do that and not put themselves in debt.  For our lifestyle, something like that was not doable.  After the ring we had to pay for a wedding, and are now working on a down payment for a house next summer. Plus we're already putting our finances in order for future children and their potential needs.  If someone else can do all of the above and not have to live off of ramen forever, I say go for it. 

500days

Peaseblossom55 said:

I told FI I wanted to be surprised.  Spend what he felt comfortable with I would be happy and say yes to a twist tie.  I did say I would not feel comfortable wearing anything more than $3000.  I was surprised with what I got and the diamond was bigger and of higher quality than I expected. I know he spent more than double what I was comfortable with.  Since we didn't shop together I didn't get a say so I can't complain.  I won't though I love my ring soooooooooo much.

This is pretty much the same way it went for me!

@loves2shop4shoes I think your ring is gorgeous! Mine is looks very similar! I have a palladium setting though. It's pretty new so I'll have to see how it goes.

britneydel

Personally I don't really get spending so much on an engagement  ring.

When my bf and I talked about a possible engagement in the future, I started looking at some rings to give him an idea of what I like. And everything I've been looking at is under $600. They're also herkimer diamond, white sapphire and white topaz, rather then a real diamond. I don't see the big thing with it needs to be a real diamond- some other stones look just as nice to me.

Blackbird230

buggle2 said:

I never miss an opportunity to show off the goods.

I originally didn't care if H got a diamond or moissanite or whatever. He went to the jewelers with the intention of ordering only a setting and putting moissanite in it. Apparently the jeweler talked him out of that, so he got a diamond. I don't know how much he spent, but he spent what he could afford, so I'm comfortable with that.

We picked out the setting together, and the stone was all him. I don't know the exact stats - it's 0.7something ct round, excellent cut, and slightly lower on the other stats (which is exactly what we agreed on if he did decide to purchase a diamond). The setting is palladium, with another 0.2 of tiny diamonds.

It's super pretty!