OLW

CLoGreenEyes

Dear school,

*Drool*

Sincerely,

A person you have rendered useless

***

Dear work,

I loved you and missed you. I'm glad I'm working more often now, even though it is already killing me.

Love,

I'm not just in it for the paycheck

***

Dear evaluators,

Please be kind to me this afternoon. I know what I'm doing, I swear, and I have been practicing my little ass for the past few weeks. I am just so, so tired right now.

Very truly yours,

Please note the bags under my eyes, the premature wrinkles on my face, etc.

***

Dear med-surg professor,

I am paying DAMN GOOD MONEY to show up to your class to be told to listen to the 10-minute "Tuberculosis is bad" audio-lecture and then teach myself the rest. I am not amused.

Sincerely,

Are you sure YOU know what TB is?

***

Dear BF,

Yes, this is what it was like when you were studying engineering. It sucks, doesn't it? But we've got less than a year to go until I graduate! In the meantime, no, I won't forget about you between the craziness, and yes, I miss the hell out of you this week. I love you.

Love,

GF

***

Dear Mom,

No, I'm not ignoring you, I'm fucking AT WORK.

Seriously?

Your freaking 24-year-old daughter who has enough to do this week without being guilt-tripped!

[Deleted User]

Dear today,

You are the day of my birth lol. It's weird to say it like that lol.

Dear FI,

I'm super duper excited to eat your famous jambalaya tonight! Woo hoo!!

Dear @lmhollister,

I hope your first two days with your new job have been fabulous! Call me!

Dear little sister,

I'm glad you're home and that you have been accepted back into school! Please focus this time around.

CLoGreenEyes

Happy birthday, @southernpeach89!

Stina51286

@southernpeach89 Happy day of birth!

Dear Body,

Now is not a good time to be sick. You have family arriving in a week and a wedding in 10 days. Get your shit together!

Sincerely,

I want my bed

*****************

Dear FI,

Thank you for dealing with that crazy women you call your mother.

10 more days!

**************

Dear FMIL,

Thank you for throwing us under the bus. You knew from day one that kids (specifically second cousins and friend's kids) were not invited to the wedding. When your sisters came crying to you, because their kids wrote in their children and we called them regarding it, you should have been on our side.

You are making the end of this journey a nightmare..

buddysmom80

Dear @southernpeach89,

Happy birthday! You share the same birthday as my BF!

buddysmom80

ps: less than two months!!!!!

-----------------------------------

Dear BF,

Happy birthday, can't wait to give you a meal of the finest McNuggets per your request, some GTAV time and birthday sex. Please spend as much time GTAVing it up because I have a shitton of DVR to catch up on.

Your GF

------------------------------

Dear work,

If I wanted to be treated the way I am now, I'd go back to my old position. If two of you can't figure out 10% of $11500 then I'm afraid of who's running our corporation. Wow.

--------------------------

Dear co-BM,

You're a bitch, I'm not a shitty friend, I was a hairstylist for 10 years and can do my own hair and have it look professional. Oh and I'm glad you think I look "hickish" without pro hair and makeup. I'm glad we drifted apart because I'd rather be ugly than have an ugly attitude.

---------------------------

Dear bride on Saturday,

Please let me watch your stepdaughter Saturday night. It's not fair that you and your H can't have wedding night sex because it's your turn to have the kid on the weekend. Also 50 guests and 20 favors isn't going to go well. I can't judge anymore, you're excited, you're nervous, you're happy, you're going to look amazing on Saturday!!!! Don't judge me for going out to my car and filling up my coke with vodka. I can't afford a cash bar right now.

Love, your crafty BM

-----------------------------------

Dear body,

You're a dick, that is all.

Me

---------------------------------

Dear @cu97tiger and other DC-area NEYers (who I forget at this moment...sorry!),

Two weeks, I will be in DC. Let's make this happen, we'll detail it out tonight or tomorrow night.

Can't wait to see your faces!

-----------------------------

[Deleted User]

Thank you @Amapola14 and @Stina51286!

OMG @Stina51286 10 days!!!!!!

[Deleted User]

EEEEKKKK @buddysmom80 I can't believe it's less than 2 months lol.

Happy birthday to your BF! I hope y'all have a special day!

cu97tiger

@southernpeach89  and @buddysmom80's BF - happy birthday!

@stina51286 - Oh no! Feel better quick... TEN DAYS!!!!

Dear @buddysmom80,

@jenjenniferf, @flygirlmeg and I are looking forward to meeting you. My guess is @beanbot2002 is, too. Let's figure this ish out on FB tonight!

Love,

Tiger

======

Dear Dr's office,

Give me my results. I know my appt isn't until Monday, but I'm dying over here. I just want the numbers.

Thanks,

Your patient

======

Dear life,

Even though there are some not-so-fun things we're dealing with, in general, we've got it freaking awesome. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but thanks. And keep it up.

Love,

Me

======

Dear NEY'ers,

I was all geared up for dozens of questions yesterday... and got like 6. I iz sad.

Tiger

buddysmom80

@cu97tiger,

That "love it" is from me, and it's a FB date tonight for us! Also I feel your frustration in regards to hearing from dr's offices!!! Sometimes calling will get the ball rolling for them.

Here's a question for you: If you had to eat the same thing for the rest of your life what would it be and why?

cu97tiger

buddysmom80 said:

@cu97tiger,

That "love it" is from me, and it's a FB date tonight for us! Also I feel your frustration in regards to hearing from dr's offices!!! Sometimes calling will get the ball rolling for them.

Here's a question for you: If you had to eat the same thing for the rest of your life what would it be and why?

Yeah, if I don't hear back by noon, I'm definitely calling. The lab wouldn't give me the results. They said they only give them to the referring doctor's office. I thought that was some BS, since I'm the freaking patient and they are my medical records. But oh well, I didn't want to make a huge eal about it.

If I had to eat the same thing every day, it would probably be french fries. Because they are so yummy. And sometimes I eat them every day even though I don't HAVE to.

[Deleted User]

dear H's company,

I know you're reducing your workforce, but my H works hard and doesn't make much.  please don't cut him.

on pins and needles until Nov. 1,
Coco



dear Congress,

again with the shutdown biz?  really?

nervous-ninny,
Coco

Blackbird230

Dear new iPhone,

Even though I was so resistant to your advances, I now have fallen in love! Thank you work for demanding I upgrade.

Sincerely,

ex-Droid user

******

Dear BF,

Something's wrong. You were off last night and I know you're stressed because your co-workers didn't quite like your new camera as much as you love it. It'll all be ok. You come stay with me tonight. 

Love,

a worried, but know you'll be ok girlfriend

******

Dear parents,

Thank you so much for the phone upgrade! Saved so much money.

Sincerely,

your very happy daughter with a happy editor

******

Dear old phone,

Treat Mom well. I know she doesn't quite know how to use you yet, but she'll get there and love you just as much as I used to.

Sincerely,

the person who bought you a year and a half ago

Blackbird230

@southernpeach89, happy birthday!

Stina51286

Thanks ladies! On top of it all, I have to go to the stupid dentist today, ugh!

@cu97tiger I'd like some of those french fries too...

CLoGreenEyes

I have a couple to add.

Dear financial aid and nursing programs,

I hate you all. Thanks for conspiring together to create that final kick in the ass this morning, it really helped.

Seriously ready to use the pages of my textbook to wipe away the snot and tears from the ugly crying that I'm about to do



Dear awesome friend,

You have no idea how much I appreciate these dark chocolate mint m&ms right now. You couldn't have hooked me up with this at a better time and I appreciate you.

Much love,
Amapola

beanbot2002

@southernpeach89 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

@buddysmom80 @cu97tiger @flygirlmeg @jenjenniferf I AM excited! I'll DD if ya'll wanna drink all the wine! Can't wait to hug and smoosh boobs.

Dear NP at my OB:

I know I always say that I'd rather see the good doctor, but your bubbliness and all around awesome happiness makes seeing you pretty great too. Thanks for being patient and finding the wee one's HB yesterday. I guess she's a mover and a shaker

Love,

Nervous Ninny

**********************************************************

Dear Bean:

You really are going to be an awesome big brother. I know you've been asking for this for a while and I'm so happy that all of our sticky baby prayers were answered.

love you to the moon and back,

Mommy

************************************************************

Dear Work:

Ok, I know the doc/NP released me from light duty as of today, but please remember that I still have to take it slow and ease into things. Stressing me out will only land me back on light duty for the next 5-6 months.

Thanks,

Dedicated Employee who values her health over you any day

***********************************************************

Dear Deli downstairs:

Please clean your grill off. The residual whatever the eff it is is screwing with the taste of my breakfast sandwiches. And who the eff fucks up hashbrowns. I'm kinda ticked that I paid for them and couldn't eat 1 bite cause they were not at all edible. And now I'm thinking about Edible Arrangements. Now I want chocolate covered strawberries. Dammit.

Hungry Girl

Blackbird230

@beanbot2002, yummm chocolate covered strawberries. 

Swazzle

beanbot2002 said:

@southernpeach89 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

@buddysmom80 @cu97tiger @flygirlmeg @jenjenniferf I AM excited! I'll DD if ya'll wanna drink all the wine! Can't wait to hug and smoosh boobs.

Dear NP at my OB:

I know I always say that I'd rather see the good doctor, but your bubbliness and all around awesome happiness makes seeing you pretty great too. Thanks for being patient and finding the wee one's HB yesterday. I guess she's a mover and a shaker

Love,

Nervous Ninny

**********************************************************

Dear Bean:

You really are going to be an awesome big brother. I know you've been asking for this for a while and I'm so happy that all of our sticky baby prayers were answered.

love you to the moon and back,

Mommy

************************************************************

Dear Work:

Ok, I know the doc/NP released me from light duty as of today, but please remember that I still have to take it slow and ease into things. Stressing me out will only land me back on light duty for the next 5-6 months.

Thanks,

Dedicated Employee who values her health over you any day

***********************************************************

Dear Deli downstairs:

Please clean your grill off. The residual whatever the eff it is is screwing with the taste of my breakfast sandwiches. And who the eff fucks up hashbrowns. I'm kinda ticked that I paid for them and couldn't eat 1 bite cause they were not at all edible. And now I'm thinking about Edible Arrangements. Now I want chocolate covered strawberries. Dammit.

Hungry Girl

ZOMG! SHE?!?!?!??!?!

beanbot2002

@swazzle I've been calling it a she, cause I've had that feeling since we found out. Hahaha BUT we have an appt for October 15th to find out for sure! I. Can't. Freaking. Wait.

Swazzle

@southernpeach89 - Happy birthday! 

@stina51286 - OMG 10 days!!!!

@buddysmom80 - Happy birthday to T! I hope he enjoys your nuggets

**********

Dear Self:

Waking up 30 minutes early and rushing into the closet in a panic is NOT OK. 5:08 =/= 6:08. Get it together. 

PS. Good job with the yoga yesterday! Keep it up!

**********

Dear Bri, Sak, Sous: 

ONE MONTH! S2H won't even know what to do with himself and our rusty hoes. 

**********

Dear Work: 

Please give me more than 24 hours notice if you're sending me to London next week. It'd be greatly appreciated. 

GoldenPenguin

beanbot2002 said:

@swazzle I've been calling it a she, cause I've had that feeling since we found out. Hahaha BUT we have an appt for October 15th to find out for sure! I. Can't. Freaking. Wait.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MINIBEANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

GoldenPenguin

Dear BF,

I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm so happy I did. I love you more than I can say.

Love,

Your Otter.

*************

Dear Violet,

I'm sorry the food I got you made your belly upset. I hope you feel better today, but I'll go back to the pet store for my sweet puppy.

Love,

Mom

************

Dear work,

I fricken love you. That is all.

Love,

Happiest Employee Ever

***********

Dear @southernpeach89,

Happy Birthday!!

beanbot2002

BriSox81 said:

beanbot2002 said:

@swazzle I've been calling it a she, cause I've had that feeling since we found out. Hahaha BUT we have an appt for October 15th to find out for sure! I. Can't. Freaking. Wait.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MINIBEANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Yeah, I may or may not have already been googoo eyeing some girly things. The weird thing is, up until last year (I feel like the one we lost last year was a girl), I said I didn't know if I could ever handle having a girl. Now it's all I can think about.

[Deleted User]

Thank you for the bday wishes everyone!

@beanbot2002 -Sooo exciting you find out in a few weeks!

suzie211

@southernpeach89 Happy birthday!

@stina51286 10 DAYS!!!!  So exciting.   Feel better!

@cu97tiger Fingers crossed for good #'s!   And now I want french fries!


Dear body,

Migraines and massive zits are not supposed to happen until next week.  Please take them back.   My brain needs to function and I would like to not distract my customers with a mountainous explosion on my chin.   These do not help when trying to finagle lots of money out of people.

Sincerely,

No love for my girly bits


Dear customers,

Your rebates are based on what you spent last year.   If you spend more, you get a rebate.   When you sign the rebate and then demand I lower your price, you can not be unhappy with me for not hitting your rebate.  I may be bad at math, but even I can figure that out.  I told you this when I lowered your price.  Please learn math, and don't be mad at me.  Sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

Sincerely,

Business 101 really is a good thing, try it


Quota,

Please magically hit your number.  I like my job, and without it I can't rule the world someday.  When I don't meet you my paychecks are very sad.  Sad paychecks then give H a strong argument for me to stay home with future suzie spawn.    Fix it.  I need to win the argument.

Sincerely,

Wanna be ruler of the world.

IrishDreamer

Dear crane,

I fucking pink puffy heart love my tattoo. It was so worth the pain. It came out better than I expected. You are fantastic.

Love,
Tattooed chick

Dear sister,

Happy 21st birthday!!! Drink lots for me!!!!

Love,
Old sister

Dear R,

Please stop rubbing it in that you're on vacation from this Friday through next week until the following Monday. Jerkface. You're lucky you are cute.

No love,
No vacation chick till next August.

Dear rain,

Fucking stop. Now!! I'm tired of rain, wet clothes, and flooded streets. Seriously, it's almost October. Knock it the fuck off.

No love,
Soggy

Dear life,

I may bitch and stress and struggle, but you're still mine and I think I'm rocking this shit.

Love,

Strong willed bitch

phira

Dear cold,

Get the fuck out of my fucking body. I was supposed to have birthday sex on Sunday and you made that not happen. What even is your problem?

Dear @southernpeach89,

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY!!!

Dear students,

When you want to meet with me, I ask you to let me know your availability so I can pick a time to meet. So don't email me back saying shit like, "I'm free most of the week." Is that letting me know your availability? No, it is not.

Dear Health and Safety,

If I'm supposed to take the initial safety training once, and then the annual refresher every year after that, then why are you making me take the initial safety training AGAIN? If the refresher is unnecessary, then why did you tell me to take it?

Dear sister,

Dad is not invited to the wedding. I'm sorry you are sad about this. I don't really care if he's sad about this, given that we've been estranged for 8 of the past 10 years. If he's sad, he should seek therapy. You probably should, too. It's okay if you don't want to be a bridesmaid, but the fact that you want to do a reading during the ceremony pretty much means that all you're refusing to do is walk down the aisle with one of my future brothers-in-law. That's really it.

Dear brother,

I'm guessing that the reason you stopped bringing your new girlfriend to family events so quickly is that you figured out you introduced her to us too soon. I'd feel bad, but I was the only immediate family member you didn't personally inform about your divorce. I found out months after everyone else from Mom. So I don't really feel bad for you.