Listening to the Radio

APDSS22

A man called in with a problem. He was supposed to get married last Friday but his FI's mom had her flight cancelled due to weather. So they delayed the wedding til Saturday so her mom could be present. Well mom's flight got delayed so they postponed the ceremony but had the reception because it was already paid for.

Now they're about to go on the honeymoon but they're still not married! The groom at this point just wants to have a quick ceremony so they can have a legit honeymoon as man and wife but his FI refuses to get married without her mom present.

Thoughts? I thought it was an interesting predicament for him but my first thought was our marriage license was only good for 10 days. I suppose the couple could get a new one but it seems a little ridiculous to me.

misshart00

I'm not sure what my thoughts on waiting are. I could see both sides, but as a guest, I would be kind of annoyed that they postponed, then postponed again. And if they don't get married soon, they should really return the gifts since the wedding didn't take place.

southernbelle0915

If they already postponed the ceremony so the mom could be there, why would they just go do the quick JOP thing without the mom being there?

I guess when I think about priorities and what's important I think:

honeymoon as husband&wife < parents being present at wedding ceremony

misshart00

Also, I know she refuses to get married without her mom there, which I understand, but has his family already gone home? So, she would get to have her mom there but he doesn't get to have his family there?

ElcaB

I would hate having my parents miss my wedding, but in all honesty, I can say I still would have proceeded and Facetimed that shit.

grumbledore

misshart00 said:

I'm not sure what my thoughts on waiting are. I could see both sides, but as a guest, I would be kind of annoyed that they postponed, then postponed again. And if they don't get married soon, they should really return the gifts since the wedding didn't take place.

This.

Jen4948

grumbledore said:

misshart00 said:

I'm not sure what my thoughts on waiting are. I could see both sides, but as a guest, I would be kind of annoyed that they postponed, then postponed again. And if they don't get married soon, they should really return the gifts since the wedding didn't take place.

This.

Seconded.

APDSS22

misshart00 said:

Also, I know she refuses to get married without her mom there, which I understand, but has his family already gone home? So, she would get to have her mom there but he doesn't get to have his family there?

That's another thing I was wondering. Since he didn't bring it up, maybe they're local? I really wish I could call in and get more details, but I'm at work.

Maggie0829

I understand wanting your Mom to be there but shit happens (like delayed flights) and postponing the wedding which you have planned out for a year or more just seems dumb.  My Mom would have told me to go ahead with our plans and to make sure that a boat load of pictures were taken.

And I also couldn't imagine being one of the guests.  Okay, maybe one postponement I would get, but two?  Just because her Mom couldn't fly in?  And then I am expected to go to the reception with a gift in tow to celebrate an event that hasn't happened yet?  Um, no.

I really think the bride is being selfish.  The wedding day is not just about her and her Mom.  It is also about the groom, his family and all of their guests.  And to postpone for one person is a bit ridiculous.

**And keep in mind that I consider my Mom my best friend so it isn't like I am coming from a place where I have a bad relationship with my parent.

ShesSoCold

Mom should have booked a flight a few days early in case this sort of thing happened. It would have sucked, but I would have had the wedding as planned. That's too crappy for everyone else.

itzMS

ShesSoCold said:

Mom should have booked a flight a few days early in case this sort of thing happened. It would have sucked, but I would have had the wedding as planned. That's too crappy for everyone else.

This was my thought. We had a rehearsal the night before the wedding (I know not everyone does, but still), so my folks flew in 2-3 days before the wedding. I know this isn't feasible for everyone...but it seems foolish to NOT ACTUALLY GET MARRIED just because of your mom. Getting married is, oh you know, kind of the important part..

climbingsingle

ElcaB said:

I would hate having my parents miss my wedding, but in all honesty, I can say I still would have proceeded and Facetimed that shit.

This! Totally ridiculous that they still haven't been married. I get that she wants her mom there, but what about his family? They got shafted too. 

misshart00

Maggie0829 said:

I understand wanting your Mom to be there but shit happens (like delayed flights) and postponing the wedding which you have planned out for a year or more just seems dumb.  My Mom would have told me to go ahead with our plans and to make sure that a boat load of pictures were taken.

And I also couldn't imagine being one of the guests.  Okay, maybe one postponement I would get, but two?  Just because her Mom couldn't fly in?  And then I am expected to go to the reception with a gift in tow to celebrate an event that hasn't happened yet?  Um, no.

I really think the bride is being selfish.  The wedding day is not just about her and her Mom.  It is also about the groom, his family and all of their guests.  And to postpone for one person is a bit ridiculous.

**And keep in mind that I consider my Mom my best friend so it isn't like I am coming from a place where I have a bad relationship with my parent.

I'm leaning toward all of this. And I also don't understand why she didn't get a flight earlier.

ShesSoCold

Yeah. I'm having a DW on a Saturday. We're driving out on the Saturday before in case the car explodes and my parents will be there by Wednesday. Coming the day of is cutting it too close.

misshart00

My other question is, it's Wednesday! Has mom still not made it or did she go home? Or are they planning another big, fancy wedding?

Maggie0829

misshart00 said:

My other question is, it's Wednesday! Has mom still not made it or did she go home? Or are they planning another big, fancy wedding?

I was wondering this too.  So did Mom just say '"fuck it" when her plane got delayed again and just decided not to come?

delujm0

If Mom couldn't get there in time for the wedding, she should have made a video and moved on - how rude for the other guests that had to travel to be there and actually made it!

 

My parents are coming in Thursday night for my Saturday night wedding - both are flying, but could also make the drive in 12 hours or less.  So if there was an issue with their original flight, they would immediately get in the car and be here ASAP.  If the wedding was further away, they would plan to come earlier.  Why would her mother not fly in until the day OF the wedding?  it makes me think that she didn't run this date by her mother in advance of booking it, and her mother had another commitment to deal with.  This whole thing screams Bridezilla to me honestly.

cowgirl8238

My parents are driving out a week in advance for my wedding and the fiances family is comming two days early...plus they are only 4 hours away!  I'm not really sure why she waited so long to so up but postponing your wedding and then having a reception without the ceremony doesn't make much sense to me!  With todays technology a hundred videos and a million pictures could have been taken and shared!

orwhatuwill

My parent's famous (in our family) wedding story is that my grandmother (father's mom), had some sort of car accident the day of their wedding & was taken to the hospital. She was fine, as was the other driver, but needed to be checked out. They telephoned her into the ceremony so she could listen. This was 1979.  My parents are still married, and I'm getting married this year with plans to skype some folks that are too sick to come in person. I think that telecommuting was the solution, but the time has passed.

 

ShesSoCold

I get postponing a ceremony a few minutes or something, maybe. But to cancel it alltogether? No freaking way. I wonder what the couple told their guests. "I'm sorry - my mother won't make the wedding today and she's WAAAAY more important than the rest of you so we're going to get married at her convenience. Leave your gifts at the door!"

My brother got married last year about 2 hours from where most of the guests live. They had a bus take everyone from the hotel to the wedding and then back at the end of the night. Apparently a can of paint had fallen off the back of a truck and three lanes of the highway were closed because of it. Both busses and a lot of people driving themselves were caught in it - like, half the guest list. They delayed the ceremony like 45 minutes until most everyone got there.

MoonlightSilver

How far away is mom? If my flight was cancelled I would have gotten a rental car and started driving either to another airport or straight to the wedding.

lc07

I think this is ridiculous. I'd be VERY upset if my mother couldn't attend my wedding but I think it was very rude to their guests to cancel the wedding. My husband's mother got extremely ill about a month before our wedding and we knew she wouldn't be able to attend since she was going to be flying from Australia to America for the wedding. Even with a month's "notice" we didn't postpone. It would have been rude to our guests. Granted, most of our guests were from out of town or out of country and had made travel arrangements. 

We did, however, switch from a church wedding to a civil ceremony and did a convalidation 6 months later with his mother present when she was well enough to travel. (The priest okayed this plan in advance)

Grabows14

sounds to me like the bride didn't want to get married