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Etiquette

Guests with cameras

How can I politely tell guests that I don't want them taking pictures with their phones at my wedding? Do I put it on the invitation?

Re: Guests with cameras

  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    JoyFred1 said:

    How can I politely tell guests that I don't want them taking pictures with their phones at my wedding? Do I put it on the invitation?

    No, you should not put anything like that on the invitation.  Do you have an objection to cameras during the entire wedding or just the ceremony?  If it is just the ceremony, you could have your officiant say something before anything gets started.  Or, you could include a little note on the program.   
    image
    STARMOON44
  • JoyFred1 said:

    How can I politely tell guests that I don't want them taking pictures with their phones at my wedding? Do I put it on the invitation?

    My photographer is very for un-plugged ceremonies. It would be just during the ceremony. You can put it in your program and also have the officiant make an announcement. Other than that, there isn't anything more you can do. Please realize, no matter what, people will still take photos.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    PrettyGirlLost
  • JoyFred1 said:

    How can I politely tell guests that I don't want them taking pictures with their phones at my wedding? Do I put it on the invitation?

    You can include a note in the program that you wish that guests refrain from taking photos during the ceremony but after that you need to let it go.

    And don't single out just camera phones or you'll come off as very pretentious that I can't take a shot with my Galaxy S4 but it's fine for DH to take as many shots as he wants with his bulky digital SLR.

    melbelleupPrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can do three things:

    1) You can put it on your website if you have one.
    2) You can have the officiant announce it at the start of the ceremony.
    3) You can put it in your program if you have one.

    But you can't put this in an invitation or single out phones with cameras.
    psychbabe314PrettyGirlLost
  • As others have said, you can either havr the officiant make an announcement at the beginning of the ceremony or a note in the program. I had an outdoor ceremony and plenty of my guests snapped pictures with either their phone or a camera. I loved seeing them in the next couple days when they posted them to Facebook and tagged me. It was like a sneak preview of the professional pictures.

    The only issue I did have was when we were taking posed shots and my aunt was getting in the way of the photographer I paid good money for. After the professional asked her nicely several times to move my mom stepped in and handled it. I have no idea what she said but it wasn't a problem again.
    PrettyGirlLostoffthemarket915
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    scribe95 said:
    There is no way to do this. Please don't try to micromanage your guests. I love to take pictures at weddings. Why would you want to do this anyway?
    This.  FWIW, one of my favorite photos came from a guest at the wedding, not our photographer.
    loca4pookPrettyGirlLost
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I'm with Joan. My SIL took some GREAT pictures, and they are some of my favorites.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    loca4pookPrettyGirlLost
  • In my program it said, "The ceremony is a worship service. The church requests no flash photography."


    STARMOON44
  • @JoyFred1  May I ask why you do not want pictures taken?
  • I've been to ceremonies in churches before where the priest or pastor announced at the start that no photography was allowed during the ceremony due to the religious aspect of the ceremonies. I thought that was fine and never had a problem with it.

    My mom really wanted me to have an unplugged wedding - she kept suggesting that I politely ask my guests to not take photos during the ceremony. I told her that there really wasn't a polite way to do this - in my mind, it's like asking my guests to dress a certain way for the wedding. Them taking pictures in no way detracts from my marriage or the ceremony except that you can see people holding up their cameras in some of the professional photos of me walking down the aisle.

    I will say that - had we indeed gone unplugged and made such a request of our guests - we wouldn't have gotten some of the footage that we ended up with. DH's stepdad ended up filming our ceremony on his phone (which neither of us knew was going to happen) so we have a video of it that we weren't expecting since we didn't hire a videographer. My grandfather couldn't attend my wedding for health reasons, so it was so nice to be able to send him that video afterwards and allow him to see us get married. An unplugged wedding wouldn't have let us have that option.
    image
    loca4pookPrettyGirlLost
  • scribe95 said:
    There is no way to do this. Please don't try to micromanage your guests. I love to take pictures at weddings. Why would you want to do this anyway?

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/why-you-might-want-to-con_b_3331528.html

    This was why I didn't want anyone snapping pictures at my ceremony. I could overlook a whole lot, but having my photos ruined would have been heartbreaking. From the other side, I couldn't imagine being that person in a couple's ceremony photos with their hands in the air, holding a camera over the heads of the people in front of me or leaning into the aisle for my own personal photo of a special moment. It would be absolutely mortifying, not to mention selfish of me.

    Blue_BirdTeriBeri06
  • We didn't want guests to take photos during our ceremony because it was a religious ceremony. So we just put a note on the programs saying "Kindly refrain for taking photos during the ceremony," and had someone stand up before the ceremony to asks guests to please not take photos. We were polite about it and didn't enforce it or anything, and we encouraged guests to take photos during the reception. It wasn't a problem at all.
    melbelleup+misslisa
  • I think that the majority of guests don't even realize that something so simple as snapping a picture from their pew could be so profoundly disruptive. There's absolutely nothing wrong with making them aware that their actions matter.
    Blue_Birdpsychbabe314emmyg65offthemarket915
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    emmyg65 said:
    We didn't want guests to take photos during our ceremony because it was a religious ceremony. So we just put a note on the programs saying "Kindly refrain for taking photos during the ceremony," and had someone stand up before the ceremony to asks guests to please not take photos. We were polite about it and didn't enforce it or anything, and we encouraged guests to take photos during the reception. It wasn't a problem at all.
    Pictures weren't allowed because it was religious? So you don't have professional photos of your ceremony?



    Anniversary
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • JoyFred1 said:

    How can I politely tell guests that I don't want them taking pictures with their phones at my wedding? Do I put it on the invitation?


    1) You don't

    2) If you did, you'd be missing out on prime opportunity for awesome pictures. Some of my favorite from the evening were thge ones captured by my friends and family.... Don't be a fool and miss out on this opportunity.

    3)I had ipads and phones going off as I walked down the aisle, and it made me smile..it showed people cared enough to TAKE my picture. I even had a friend who could not attend get SKYPED in by my other friends because she was so bummed she had to miss the wedding (due to another commitment)....I never knew how much my friend cared until that moment..Had I had that "no pic" rule, I would have had no idea

    4) Your photography is a professional. He understands others will take pics. Trust me, it won't matter to them. I have hundreds of pics from him, and not one single one was ruined by someone ELSE taking a picture

     

    5) Relax

    PrettyGirlLost
  • emmyg65 said:
    We didn't want guests to take photos during our ceremony because it was a religious ceremony. So we just put a note on the programs saying "Kindly refrain for taking photos during the ceremony," and had someone stand up before the ceremony to asks guests to please not take photos. We were polite about it and didn't enforce it or anything, and we encouraged guests to take photos during the reception. It wasn't a problem at all.
    Pictures weren't allowed because it was religious? So you don't have professional photos of your ceremony?

    My church had a no pictures during the ceremony rule. The professional photographer was allowed to be in the narthex of the church and take pictures of the ceremony through the panes of glass in the doors separating the narthex from the sanctuary. They actually turned out really well. But they were not allowed to take pictures from within the sanctuary during the service (Catholic church, I know not all are like this, but mine was). It was the church policy, because they see marriage as a sacrament and they don't want people treating their wedding like a photoshoot (apparently this was an issue). A lot of people do get the priest to stand in and re-do some shots, like the kiss, afterwards.
    image
  • For the record, I think they only way you get away with this is if your church or ceremony site has rules about it that they wrote. Kind of like the only way you get away with a dress code is if the site you're having the wedding at has a dress code of its own. Other than that, you just have to trust people's best judgment, as hard as that may be. And all bets are off for the reception. I'm an odd woman out, as our pro pics were much better to me than even the best family ones, but I love that I have so many pictures now.

     

    Also, you really can't worry about things like Facebook, but what I've done (after several really unflattering photos, way before my wedding) is make it to where I have to approve anything that goes on my wall.

    image
  • emmyg65 said:
    We didn't want guests to take photos during our ceremony because it was a religious ceremony. So we just put a note on the programs saying "Kindly refrain for taking photos during the ceremony," and had someone stand up before the ceremony to asks guests to please not take photos. We were polite about it and didn't enforce it or anything, and we encouraged guests to take photos during the reception. It wasn't a problem at all.
    Pictures weren't allowed because it was religious? So you don't have professional photos of your ceremony?
    When we were booking our pro photographer, we talked with her about being as unobtrusive as possible during the ceremony, and she was perfect. We had no idea she was there. We had a Quaker ceremony, which focuses on community and listening to "the spirit" or your heart or whatever. And we had a lot of non-Quaker guests who weren't familiar with the ceremony style and wouldn't have known that taking photographs would be a bit odd. It wasn't in a church, but I don't think location affects the ceremony as much as the larger sentiment and style. 

    The bottom line is that I don't think there's anything wrong with politely requesting that guests refrain from taking photos. No need for any of that "being present" stuff, and don't police them or anything. 
  • It's fine for you to request people to refrain from taking pictures, if that's what you really want. Kinda like asking people to turn off their cell phones during the ceremony. You could ask the ushers to mention this to the guests as they are escorted to their seats. Or whoever is greeting guests at the door can also mention it. The officiant at one wedding I attended actually took the initiative and made an announcement before the bride walked down the aisle.
  • For the record, I think they only way you get away with this is if your church or ceremony site has rules about it that they wrote. Kind of like the only way you get away with a dress code is if the site you're having the wedding at has a dress code of its own. Other than that, you just have to trust people's best judgment, as hard as that may be. And all bets are off for the reception. I'm an odd woman out, as our pro pics were much better to me than even the best family ones, but I love that I have so many pictures now.

     

    Also, you really can't worry about things like Facebook, but what I've done (after several really unflattering photos, way before my wedding) is make it to where I have to approve anything that goes on my wall.

    FB is my main concern...photos getting posted before J and I get to post any. I'll have to remember to just change my settings in the days leading up to the wedding :)
    ~*~June 21, 2014~*~


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