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Etiquette

Bad ideas your FH has come up with?

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Re: Bad ideas your FH has come up with?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited October 2013
    Jen4948 said:

    Jen4948 said:
    caity8880 said:
    My lovely FH doesn't think we need to register anywhere, that way "everyone can just give us cash". I'm still working on explaining to him that it's rude to ask for money and that some people aren't comfortable gifting cash rather than a traditional gift.
    While you're right about that, registering for gifts isn't mandatory.
    Yeah, but if you don't register for something you're much more likely to receive a Beyonce the giant metal chicken...
    That could happen even if you register, so this argument doesn't work.  And you don't have to keep gifts you don't want.  The only rule of thumb is that you need to be discreet about how you dispose of them.
    Oh indeed.  If someone's determined, they might still get you a giant metal chicken.  I just meant that if you give them some physical items to choose from that you actually like, they might go that way and further away from the giant metal chicken...

    ETA: Also, returning gifts can happen if you know where they got it from and you only get the full amount guaranteed with some sort of receipt.  A giant metal chicken you can get on clearance at a garden store isn't really returnable and also very noticeable in its absence. 
    Returning gifts to stores isn't the only way to dispose of them.  Again, as long as you're discreet, throwing them out or giving them away is acceptable as well.  What you don't want to do is let the givers know that that's what you've done with them.
  • He wants a bouncy castle. Like, REALLY wants one.
    casey8784climbingwife[Deleted User]
  • I love my FH dearly, but he thought we needed a police escort to get our guests from the church to the reception...which is less than 2 miles away. I'm pretty sure they can make it on their own.
    aurorajanette
  • Actually, the Nerf gun fight night be really fun and yield awesome candid pics!
  • My FI found a picture of a half batman cake half wedding cake online. Unfortunately, he loved it so much and the look on his face when he saw it, it would've broken my heart to say no. At least I can turn the batman side to face the wall...
    grumbledore
  • My FH is a great guy, but the sad truth is that he was absolutely serious about the following ideas and, although none of this will be in/at our wedding, he would add these in at the last second if he could.

    -to pay midgets to dress up as satyrs to go down the isle throwing flowers instead of flower girls. (only gave this up because I didn't want flower girls to begin with)
    -a pirate wedding where he would have a trained a parrot to say "I do" for him.
    -have a VIP section, where select guests could sit. By select guests he means his favorite people and not like grandma or his god parents, but like this random friend and this random family member....because that wouldn't cause an argument later.
    -He wanted to play casual "non-dance music" played after the dinner and everything, because he didn't think he would feel like dancing the whole time.
    -have himself lowered down into our reception on a disco ball
    -a Halloween wedding where he could dress up in a full batman suit. 
    -me to walk down the isle to "love reign on me" by the who
    -invite the couple we met twice and he is friends on facebook with and the lady that says hi to him at work. (we have a 200 person limit and a tight budget)
    -wear a plain suit top and a kilt instead of pants. I'm okay with a kilt, but you have to wear the right style with it to make it look good!
    -doesn't want to go around to the tables and say thank you to everyone

  • We are having an outdoor wedding and my FI desperately wanted a pig roast.  Fortunately, his parents offered to pay for the food and nixed the idea.
  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    My dearest is VEHEMENTLY fighting me for open seating... No.. absolutely not. We have guests from out of town and I like them well enough I DO NOT want to make them miserable by having them get stuck next to my grouchy German great grandparents....... 
    Anniversary
    image
  • Most of my fiance's suggestions involve insane things he wants to register for, like furniture. Nononononono.
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    OBrienKJ said:

    -to pay midgets to dress up as satyrs to go down the isle throwing flowers instead of flower girls. (only gave this up because I didn't want flower girls to begin with)
    -a pirate wedding where he would have a trained a parrot to say "I do" for him.
    -have himself lowered down into our reception on a disco ball

    I think I love your FI. ;) These are hilarious. I understand why you said no, but I'm cracking up.

    I'd actually be okay with the disco ball, as long as I knew for a fact there was no way he could fall off and hurt himself. The parrot thing is cute, but I'd probably say no in the end. It's tempting, though.

  • My darling angel wants to have our first dance be "This love" by Pantera. And he's seriously, adamantly vouching for it
    [Deleted User]
  • My FI doesn't want linens, food, music, beverages, or entertainment. He also thinks BMs, GMs, and decorations are not necessary. Worst part, he doesn't want to elope or have a JOP wedding (which if be fine with) because he wants to invite EVERYONE he has ever met so that they can "congratulate us" and celebrate with us.... In an empty hall!! He thinks I'm a bridezilla because I told him that if he wanted a reception it was going to be hosted properly. *eye roll*
  • Another brilliant suggestion, video STDs. Made with a green screen. Pretending we're on an island. wtf?
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    My FI doesn't want linens, food, music, beverages, or entertainment. He also thinks BMs, GMs, and decorations are not necessary. Worst part, he doesn't want to elope or have a JOP wedding (which if be fine with) because he wants to invite EVERYONE he has ever met so that they can "congratulate us" and celebrate with us.... In an empty hall!! He thinks I'm a bridezilla because I told him that if he wanted a reception it was going to be hosted properly. *eye roll*
    If my BF were acting like that, I'd reconsider marrying him.  How did it go over when you told him this?
  • Having hay bales as ceremony decorations. While it is a country wedding, it's a hunting lodge theme not Hee Haw hoedown theme plus my sister, my daughter, my BFF and myself are all highly allergic to hay. I don't think standing right next to it would have been much fun!
    Carly

    First month TTCing #2 7/12

    m/c 10/2004, m/c 7/2005, pregnant with my daughter after 6 months of clomid 8/06, loss of her twin 11/06, m/c 1/09, m/c 2/13

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    • He wants to walk down the aisle to Weird Beard by Mad Caddies (it's a pirate song)
    • I told him he could pick the shoes he and the groomsmen wear. So far, here's what he's come up with:
      • Sandals (with socks)
      • Orange sneakers (I went to FSU and my wedding colors are royal blue, black and white. This would put Gator colors in my wedding and he knows how much that will piss me off.)
      • Multi-colored neon sneakers
    • He wants our first dance song to be Closer by Nine Inch Nails. I'm pretty sure both of our grandmothers would have a heart attack.
     Visit The Knot!                                           image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • What is it with the whole ice cream wedding cake? My FH can't let it go. He thinks if that won't work, we should have a chocolate cake with mint filling. He doesn't understand that not a lot of people appreciate mint chocolate wedding cake lol. Bless his heart :)
  • Let's see.  My fiance thinks we shouldn't register for gifts.  He thinks everyone will just give us cash. He thinks our venue is too expensive at 65 dollars a head that includes open bar for four hours (he wanted the open bar).  But that is better than what he originally wanted.  He wanted to have a ceremony and invite 200 people, and only invite 70 to the reception.  I told him that would be incredibly rude.  People have gone through the trouble to give you a gift and you are telling them that they are not good enough to celebrate your wedding with you.  He thinks centerpieces are a waste of money, and the bridal party and brides do not need bouquets. He wants to name our tables after World of Warcraft names. Yikes! Oh, and the clincher, he wants to invite only 120 people to the wedding (I am completely fine with that), but wants to invite two of his softball teams to our reception to drink and dance, but not to eat food.  He thinks the reception won't notice 30 extra people drinking heavily, and we would get away with not paying for the extra head count. (Does he think this is our venues' first wedding, and they won't fine us for this?)  Lol.  If people are not close enough to you to sit through dinner, toasts, cake cutting and our first dance... that's why the good lord invented the bachelor party. Lol.  And he wants to hire a family friend to be our DJ... I don't even want to fight with him about that, because I don't want to be demanding, but you really should go with a professional.  A DJ can make or break your reception  This DJ cut his brother's and wife's first dance really short and also the father daughter dance. So I will pick and choose my battles, and hope the DJ does a better job for our wedding. Seriously didn't know wedding planning involved so much drama.
  • OBrienKJ said:

    My FH is a great guy, but the sad truth is that he was absolutely serious about the following ideas and, although none of this will be in/at our wedding, he would add these in at the last second if he could.

    -to pay midgets to dress up as satyrs to go down the isle throwing flowers instead of flower girls. (only gave this up because I didn't want flower girls to begin with)
    -a pirate wedding where he would have a trained a parrot to say "I do" for him.
    -have a VIP section, where select guests could sit. By select guests he means his favorite people and not like grandma or his god parents, but like this random friend and this random family member....because that wouldn't cause an argument later.
    -He wanted to play casual "non-dance music" played after the dinner and everything, because he didn't think he would feel like dancing the whole time.
    -have himself lowered down into our reception on a disco ball
    -a Halloween wedding where he could dress up in a full batman suit. 
    -me to walk down the isle to "love reign on me" by the who
    -invite the couple we met twice and he is friends on facebook with and the lady that says hi to him at work. (we have a 200 person limit and a tight budget)
    -wear a plain suit top and a kilt instead of pants. I'm okay with a kilt, but you have to wear the right style with it to make it look good!
    -doesn't want to go around to the tables and say thank you to everyone

    If be a little concerned about him coming down on that disco ball in a kilt! I'm getting a vision of Bridget Jones coming down the firemans pole, only with less underwear.
    grumbledore
  • The absolute best wedding I went to was a dry, outdoor wedding with no dancing except for the first dance.  It was absolutely beautiful, and everyone still had fun.


  • My fiancés first idea of many was to have his unemployed brothers (both groomsmen) cater our wedding to help them earn some extra money. Neither of his brothers have any more cooking experience than the average college age individual, let alone that they are standing in the wedding.

    His next idea was to have blue suede tuxes.

    He then surprised me when we were meeting with our wedding coordinator (and we had already picked our colors to be royal blue and purple) by insisting that he wanted red roses-which clashed against the blue everyone in our wedding party would be wearing. My personal favorite was when he insisted on having us, our bridal party (10people total), our bridal parties SO (3-7 people give or take) and everyone's kids at the head table. I thought me bringing up the fact that we'd have to put high chairs up there would deter him but then he got more excited and wanted our parents up there too. There would have been 32 people and children.

    His most recent gem is trying to get me to agree to have him run to Jewel the morning of the wedding and buy as many flowers as he can for the budget he picks and then drive over to the venue and put them wherever he finds them suitable.

    We're getting married in three weeks, and planning this wedding has been the only real disagreements we've had over picking stuff out. I finally enlisted the help of wedding coordinators, friends, family, and random strangers to kindly tell him that well his ideas are super thoughtful, they just don't work for the event were planning. We're fine now and my fingers are crossed that it will be smooth sailing until the wedding!

  • natswildnatswild The F-f-f-rozen N-n-north (Northern Alberta) member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    @casey8784, I think the groomsman cake/fondant flames idea is really rather cute!

    casey8784
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    KMW130 said:

    My fiancés first idea of many was to have his unemployed brothers (both groomsmen) cater our wedding to help them earn some extra money. Neither of his brothers have any more cooking experience than the average college age individual, let alone that they are standing in the wedding.

    His next idea was to have blue suede tuxes.

    He then surprised me when we were meeting with our wedding coordinator (and we had already picked our colors to be royal blue and purple) by insisting that he wanted red roses-which clashed against the blue everyone in our wedding party would be wearing. My personal favorite was when he insisted on having us, our bridal party (10people total), our bridal parties SO (3-7 people give or take) and everyone's kids at the head table. I thought me bringing up the fact that we'd have to put high chairs up there would deter him but then he got more excited and wanted our parents up there too. There would have been 32 people and children.

    His most recent gem is trying to get me to agree to have him run to Jewel the morning of the wedding and buy as many flowers as he can for the budget he picks and then drive over to the venue and put them wherever he finds them suitable.

    We're getting married in three weeks, and planning this wedding has been the only real disagreements we've had over picking stuff out. I finally enlisted the help of wedding coordinators, friends, family, and random strangers to kindly tell him that well his ideas are super thoughtful, they just don't work for the event were planning. We're fine now and my fingers are crossed that it will be smooth sailing until the wedding!

    Are you having a head table?  Because I agree that is a lot of people, but you should have everyone in your bridal party sitting with their SO and children.  
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    grumbledore
  • Mine wanted his mom to take the pictures and to set up a playlist on his computer (that he would be solely responsible throughout the night) instead of a DJ
  • Lucky mine didnt have many bad ideas. He did want a oyster bar (for 150 guests!!!) after seeing one at his sister's wedding. The thing is his sister's wedding was 25 people... IN THE MARITIMES!

    We were trying to be REALLY good with our food budget, and I had just talked out venue down from about 100$ a head to 30$, so I think you can all understand that I was furious with even the suggestion. Am I made of money?!
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