Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Substitute for unity candle???

Our wedding is outside in a park.  My cousin is our offciant and we are pretty much writing the whole ceremony together.  Since we are outside, I really don't think a unity candle is a good idea.  We've considered the idea of mixing sand in a vase but I'm not a huge fan.  I just feel like since we are no where near a beach (St. Louis), sand is a little... weird.  Any ideas???? Thanks!

Re: Substitute for unity candle???

  • There are some unity ceremonys that are about the joining of hands (but I don't know much about them) like in one they bind your hands together with a ribbon and in another I think they just bless them or something.  In some Hispanic countries (and other countries too) they do a lasso ceremony where the bride and groom have a lasso (it can be made from beads or flowers it does not have to be rope) wrapped around their shoulders in a figure eight.  I think this symbolizes their everlasting union kind of like an infinity symbol.  I hope this helps, good luck!
  • The tying of the hands is the Handfasting ceremony, where the term "tie the knot" came from. It pre-dates Christianity, and is Scottish/Celtic Pagan, so many Christian churches don't allow it.  Instead, they've changed the name of it.  Others do a "blessing of the hands" in Christian churches.  Whatever.  It's still a handfasting, which is short for handfastening. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • Instead of the traditional unity candle how about colored water??  Have the mothers pour just a little water in the vase and then you and your FI can add two different colors to it to symbolize the new family starting??? Now that I think of this, I might do this...
    Anniversary
  • Wow, everyone said everything i was going to suggest :) BUT we are doing a "hand ceremony". Google it, if you can't find it let me know and I'd be happy to email you it. It's basically you put your hands on top of his and the minister says things like "these are the hands of your best friend" etc. then he puts his hands on top of yours and says some things. It made me cry the first time i read it!


  • I'm so sorry to everyone.  When I posted this months ago I swear I responded a thank you, but it seems I didn't?! 

    Thanks for all the great advice!!  I'm super excited about the hand ceremony.  I like it because it's different than any other wedding we've been to.

    As for the colored water...great idea, but I am a walking disaster.  At Christmas I spilled red wine on my mothers white carpet...twice.

    Thanks for being so helpful everyone!
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