Changing last name dilemma

mandarific · June 2010

Funny story, I remember being a little kid and asking my grandmother, "Mimi, how do you know if you're supposed to marry the person you marry? What if their last name doesn't sound right with your name?"

And her response was something along the lines of "Well, then I guess you just can't marry him!"

I was probably seven at the time but the idea of taking my husband's last name has always, always appealed to me, even from that age. Maybe it's becuase I've never been fond of my last name and the confusion it causes with spelling, or maybe it's becuase it's romantic. Maybe it's becuase my FI's family is tighter knit than my family and I can't wait to be a part of that. But I'm glad to be switching my name.

That said, I know of a lot of people (just check out movie stars!) who go "professionally" by one name and then "legally" by their married last name. This is a great way to keep your professional and personal life separate, so if it's publishing and things with your name on it that you're worried about - don't worry, you can keep using that last name.

Me, personally? I stopped putting my last name on anything super professional the second I got engaged, just in case.

lrowe70 · June 2010

No way, I'm not changing my name. Several reasons including: I've established a great career and reputation under my name, I don't like his name, and I'm not close to his family and don't want to share their name. If we have kids, we'll hyphenate.

Yes, some people aren't happy with the decision. But it's not their decision. It's my decision and my decision alone.

Trishes · June 2010

Unless it's a personal thing that you have, I don't think there's a time limit on when you can change your name. I have a friend who changed hers after three years of being married. She also had publications and wanted to make sure that it was well known that her married name was her.

shinxy · June 2010

I'm a little bit on the fence. I hate my last name, I got teased for it in primary school and I believe that children should have the last name of the mother (they're coming out of my body, they're going to have my name) so I don't want to keep it because they'll get teased too.

On the other hand, I'm an avid feminist and am repulsed by the patriarchal tradition of the woman changing her last name when she marries.

I think I want to hyphenate, but I'll only do that if he hyphenates too. If not, I'm stuck with a horrible last name.

mandi921vh · July 2010

I plan on keeping my last name after I get married and our children will have both our last names hyphenated. I never understood why the woman has to give up her last name, why doesn't that man have to give up his?

Changing last name dilemma

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