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Frustrated with FMIL

TimsGirl10TimsGirl10 member
First Comment
in Christian Weddings
She STILL hasn't sent me a guest list!!  FI has been asking her since shortly after we got engaged- so basically since the beginning of June!!  I personally emailed her just before July 4th, and she spoke to me about it that following Monday (so, what...July 5 I think!?)  And, yep, still nothing!!  URGH!!!

I just emailed her again and asked her to please send me a guest list this weekend!  I hope she gets the hint..... I NEED THAT LIST!!!

GRRRRR......she is so frustrating to deal with sometimes!! 
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Re: Frustrated with FMIL

  • GJones27GJones27 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    If it makes you feel better, I asked my parents 4 times for their guest list.  I gave them a deadline of last weekend, and they still didn't send it to me.  I gave them an ultimatum of today.  We'll see if they follow through.  Honestly, I don't understand how it can be that hard.  My fiance and I have already done our portion.

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  • TimsGirl10TimsGirl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know right?  Thankfully, my mom was on the ball- but then again, 2 of my brothers are getting married in October- so she HAD to do a list, and well, it was basically one list for all 3 of us!!

    The thing is, FIs brother just got married in May- so, umm... where is the list that you sent them??  I know she still has it, she's SAID she still has it, just wants to tweak it.  It doesn't take 2 months to tweak a stinkin list!!  Grrr....

    The other thing is, HER list is FIs list- so without it, we are not inviting anyone on his side of the family....then again- HE needs to step up and get the addresses himself if she isn't going to come through.  UGH!!  She just seems to be a control-freak about stuff, but not in a good way!!  BLAH!! I love her and all- but man, our personalities CLASH big time!!  I am hoping she gets my email today and gets me that list!!
    Photobucket March 2011 September Siggy Challenge FAVORITE MOVIE BIO updated 8/15 Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • Mrs.FaisonMrs.Faison
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I realize you're frustrated but you do have plenty of time before you need to send anything. It's far too early for you to be so stressed out. Enjoy your engagement period.

    Be still and know... Wedding Countdown Ticker www.weddingwire.com/teamfaison
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  • TimsGirl10TimsGirl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Its not about needing to send things- though I am in the process of addressing our STDs- but its about having an accurate headcount.  Right now, I have my side of the family and that is it- really hard to try and plan a wedding with only 1/2 a guest list.  And everyone keeps saying that its "too early" for this or that or whatever- but they fail to realize that my life is about to get crazy busy here in the next month or so- and I am going to have little to no time to really plan the way I want to plan.  So, the sooner I start things, the easier it will be on me.  The less I have to worry about throughout now and the end of the year- the better.  The less I have on my plate once mid-January comes and I am full force wedding mode, the better!  I have reasons why I seemingly "obsess" about these things- I have reasons why I can't let my stress levels get past a certain point- and I know how to keep my stress levels in check- and that means getting all the seemingly "too early" things out of the way early on.

    So yeah- I need that guest list! Grrrr.......
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  • CHarley2BCHarley2B
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I got the whole "it's too early" thing from my mom a lot and it really got on my nerves. (Now I just ignore her) But having to wait for people to do their part is very frustrating when they aren't sensitive to your timeline.

    Do you know about how many people you and your FI want at the wedding?  If you come up with the total number of guest you want at the wedding you could just allocate a specific number to FMIL's guests and then still move on with the understanding that she can invite X number of guests.  That would allow you to venue shop and do your budgeting and whatever else you want to do. The actual names are probably not as important at this point until you're ready with your STD's.

    Enjoy the process as much as possible :)   It's once in a lifetime...even with the frustration.
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  • kkidd28kkidd28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Im one of those - its never too early people because until you know how many you have on the list, you can't really pick a venue because 100 people at $100 is different than 200 people at $100 pp.  Explain it to her that way.  My dad actually got me the guest list for my side of the family - my mom was like your FMIL.  My FMIL gave me a huge list and then when we picked a venue and I told her how much it was, I asked her to trim it a little.  Maybe call and tell her you'll stop over to pick it up with a flash drive?  That way she knows you're coming at a certain time so she has to actually put it together?

    HTH
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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Instead of telling you who, can she give you a headcount only?  Your STDs wouldn't go out for a few months so maybe that would make her less stressed about figuring out who will be invited.
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