Wedding Etiquette Forum

Considering a brunch AHR - kinda long

Hi Ladies!

FI & I are having a private (just us 2) DW.  Our parents asked us if we were interested in having an AHR that they would gladly host (and help pay for!).  I know our moms are a bit bummed that we decided to privately marry, so we agreed to the AHR.  We do not have any plans yet, but I would like to bounce some ideas off you ladies and get your opinions. 

I am considering a brunch party.  My FI and I love brunch and know that our families would enjoy this as well.  I would not want to start too early but also not too late, maybe 11:30ish???  The venue we love is semi-formal i guess you could say.  Khakis and dress shirt for guys and sundresses for ladies would be typical attire for this venue. 

I do not in any way want my marriage celebration to resemble a re-do/do-over wedding.   No special dances, bouquet/garter toss, etc...Although one battle I feel I am losing (even with FI) is a cake cutting ceremony.  No one understands why I don't want to do a cake cutting.  Um, hello! we will be cutting a cake on our wedding day, why do another at our party, KWIM?  Everyone says that our guests will expect one and be confused if we don't.  I will be wearing a short white dress and FI in a khaki suit.

I would however,  like to incorporate some traditional elements of a wedding reception.  Such as...place cards (sand dollars & starfish in a sand box), centerpieces (white dendrobium orchids), favors (chocolate sea-shells) and a dance floor.  (Like I said NO special dances but the venue offers the dance floor, so why not?!).  I also plan to display pics of our wedding and we will also be creating a slideshow of our wedding pics. 

My FI is dead set against a sweetheart table.  He hates the idea of all eyes on him (which is a HUGE reason we chose to have a private ceremony).  We were thinking, we could ask his brother & his date and my sis and her husband to sit with us.  Is that wierd?

Sorry if this post is all over the place...I have so many ideas, just trying to sort them all out!

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Re: Considering a brunch AHR - kinda long

  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    What you're planning sounds perfectly fine to me!
    Lizzie
  • I think everything you are doing is fine.  Personally I don't see anything wrong with cutting the cake, since everyone will know that you are already married.  Cake is delicious, why pass it up?  You don't have to feed each other cake if you think that's awkward (that was my least favorite part of the cake cutting, and we used forks).

    There is nothing wrong with place cards, centerpieces, or a dance floor and DJ.  Also, your idea for the non-sweetheart table also sounds fine.  Enjoy your DW and your AHR!
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  • I think what you're planning sounds very nice!  I'd give in on the cake cutting.  It's clearly important to him, and it's  not rude, offensive, or tacky.  And, as Bay said, cake is delicious.
  • I do not pass up cake. Ever. 

    Your plan sounds fine.
  • Nothing wrong with centerpieces and such. Many fancy parties have those, so it's not like you're doing wedding-y things. :)

    It sounds really nice. I think your family will have fun. My friends had a brunch AHR after they eloped (just the two of them), and it was lovely.
  • pkontkpkontk member
    First Comment
    Ditto PPs, that sounds fine.  I also love brunch, and going to a celebration for recently married friends over brunch sounds like my cup of tea!
  • Thank you for the much needed reassurance. I know at home receptions are often percieved as gift grabby or guests feel slighted they weren't invited to the ceremony. I know you cannot please everyone but i want to avoid as much negative feelings as possible. And for the cake cutting...if its not seen in bad taste, I say we go for it. Thanks everyone!
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  • Im doing almost the exact same thing, only dinner vs brunch. No boquet toss, I'm not wearing my dress, no first dance etc. Just a big old party with free food, booze, and music!

    I agree cake cutting wouldn't be tacky. I mean somebody has to cut it, right? Good luck!
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