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Im worried about kids at the wedding

kittybuttonkittybutton
First Comment
in African American Weddings
Ok so I have a long time before the BIG DAY (sept, 2, 2012) but I'm getting my guest list together and we will only have 100ppl. So far im at 30ppl for me but thats not including my OOT guest. The problem is that I really kinda want the kids there since we have 1 together and he has 2 boys. Ours will be in the wedding along with my niece and nephew but my family has small kids and MOST of them are BAD AS HELL. Do I put on the invites ADULT ONLY but tell the ppl who have "good kids" they can bring them? That doesnt seem fair though.

I know for sure my OOT family with kids will not leave them home. Maybe I should get a babysitter and have the kids on the balcony (inside upstairs balcony) with Wii games and activities. BUT then again I dont want to pay for 100 guest and 15 of them are kids that wont eat what we pic. 15 KIDS YALL!!! OH LAWD!!! Maybe just say ADULT ONLY and to hell with them.

Signed *So Confused* Undecided
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Re: Im worried about kids at the wedding

  • dlthompson22dlthompson22
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was wondering the same thing. LOL.
    Is the upstairs balcony area open for use during reception? That sounds like a good idea. I would check with caterer and see if they can create a appetizer menu for kids or something kid friendly. Sounds like the kids will have a ball..
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  • tyboydtyboyd member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    SKREW ETIQUETTE! It got me nowhere! lol.

    So, I say: Put "Adult Only" on the response cards. AND put it again on your website. But have a sitter on stand by for the OOT guests. See if your venue offers a kids menu. I found out that mine did... not that it mattered because we weren't having kids. Hope this helps.

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  • egammo3egammo3
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    edited December 2011

    Did you choose your reception venue? Check with your venue to see if they will charge you for kids over a certain age.  I am so glad that the venue I chose does not charge me for those that are 10 years and younger. Although, my reception will be an Adult Reception, I know I will have some people (particulary my FI's family) who will do the opposite and bring their kids, so I was excited to hear that at least I will not be charged for them.

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  • brittanyl8605brittanyl8605 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I put adult only on my invite and the website and I have 12 kids in total. The people were nice enough to say they could not come without their children or the children are in the WP so I was already allowing them to come. So, I hired 2 teenage sitters and got a separate room (for free thanks to the hotel) for the kids. I'm ordering off the kid's menu and will have some games and stuff for them as well. order off the kid's menu. I think you can do this with about 15. I want the parents to have a good time so I didn't mind doing this since the room was free and the food is much cheaper for kids.
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  • hatroopeshatroopes member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I put ADULTS ONLY on our website and plan on having that printed on the invites as well. This goes for OOT guests as well. I'm sorry, but we're spending a lot of money on this wedding and I don't want to pay for a baby-sitter as well. I already mentioned to those who have kids, especially the OOT ones that this will be an ADULT- ONLY wedding. The only kids there will be the two flower girls and my two little cousins who will be page boys. Majority of our guest lists have kids, almost half and if we have to pay for their kids - that will just be way toooooo much and I'm not doing it. Like Ty said - screw etiquette lol. You just have to draw the line somewhere.
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  • kittybuttonkittybutton
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_im-worried-kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2c3460be-07b0-4c8c-8519-0252c4ed40a9Post:83f8741c-001f-475b-a212-13c181dc85eb">Re: Im worried about kids at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was wondering the same thing. LOL. Is the upstairs balcony area open for use during reception? That sounds like a good idea. I would check with caterer and see if they can create a appetizer menu for kids or something kid friendly. Sounds like the kids will have a ball..
    Posted by dlthompson22[/QUOTE]

    Yes the upstairs balcony is open area and its inside the room we rented. Its like a lounge area (totally cool) I wanted to use it for something. Anyway I could pay my friends Teenagers to watch them and you can still see them up there so it may work....thanks
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  • kittybuttonkittybutton
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_im-worried-kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2c3460be-07b0-4c8c-8519-0252c4ed40a9Post:3d75f663-690b-4281-ad57-e762f402774c">Re: Im worried about kids at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]SKREW ETIQUETTE! It got me nowhere! lol. So, I say: Put "Adult Only" on the response cards. AND put it again on your website. But have a sitter on stand by for the OOT guests. See if your venue offers a kids menu. I found out that mine did... not that it mattered because we weren't having kids. Hope this helps.
    Posted by tyboyd[/QUOTE]

    My Seeestah!! Why you gota be so mean??? LMAO!!! too funny...we shall see what I do. I will need to contact the Venue and see if they will have something for the kids but we are doing a buffet so IDK.
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  • bbrown185bbrown185
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Could you check and see if your venue offers kids meals.  My venue allowed us to make a special menu for children that I think worked out great.  Also, could you designate a "kids corner" of the reception ballroom?  Most parents do no like to leave their children alone with a stranger.  Perhaps if there was a designated area where the children could hang out that would eliminate the need for an actual baby sitter as well. 

    I am not sure how parents can be left to decide if their children are bad or not hahaha most people are in denial
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  • happe2getherhappe2gether member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey date twin!!  I'm a little late but I basically agree with people  saying to check to see if they have a kids menu.  Not sure if your venue does this but at our place kids under 4 are free, kids 4-9 are half price if they want to eat off the buffet we will be having or they can choose something from the kids menu for $9/plate.  Kids over 9 are adult priced.  We are doing something similar because we have a ready room attached to the ballroom so that is going to be a kids area.    If you can find some teenagers or someone like that then I say invite them if you don't mind having kids there.  
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  • lil01lil01
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We put adults only, but we're having 6 children total. I didn't & don't plan on explaining why we allowed those kids & not others. We just told people that their kids under 21 were not allowed.

    Our venue gave the option of a babysitting room w/ video games, movies, etc, but that would have been an extra fee that we were NOT gonna pay. Plus, when folks really wanna hang out & have fun without their kids, they know how to find babysitters.
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  • lisa4766lisa4766
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You need to see how many kids might show up.  And if they are in deed bad as hell, then maybe they need to stay home.  You can still hire a sitter for the kids in the wedding and for the OOT guests.  But local people can find their own sitter.... my thought is that they would find a sitter if they were planning to go to a club, theater or other adult event... so call that same sitter up and tell them to babysit while they are at your wedding.  
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  • missowensmissowens
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I definitely want an ADULT ONLY wedding and have communicated this to FI.  However, he insists that I can't tell people they can't bring their kids.  Umm, really?  Oh YES I CAN!..lol  Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but it's too costly.  We can't afford to feed extra mouths.  BUT, my neice and nephew will be there b/c they're in the wedding and they're my babies :) 
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  • Ky925Ky925
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The only children allowed at the reception are our 2 children, my 12 y.o. brother and FI 13 y.o. nephew.  If it wasn't for the fact that our children are ours they wouldn't be there either lol. The invite will say ADULT ONLY RECEPTION.  No other children including my 3 half siblings are allowed.  When questioned about that I told my father that he could pay for them and guess what he declined.  Basically like PP said when people want to shake their behinds at the club they will find sitters.  If people choose not to attend because their children aren't invited then that means that's a few less people I have to pay for. If we allowed children to come that would be an additional 20 or so guests and at $40 per child (the discounted children's price) that ain't happening.  Plus I do not want a bunch of parent's flocking to the open bar and ignoring their bad behind bebe's kids. 
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  • sweetjess2011sweetjess2011
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Were having adult only reception, besides my 2 boys, and 3 nieces. It's your wedding your paying for it do as you please. I care for kids monday thru friday, I will be damned if I have brats running wild all over on my BIG day!!
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  • ThunderKitten2011ThunderKitten2011 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm like Tyboyd, screw etiquette. We have an adult only reception and an age limit on the ceremony (none 10 and under). there will be kids at the reception, my 2, my 3 neices and his 2 neices. That's it. I dont feel the need to explain to people why we are doing it. If they want to know so bad they can help us foot the bill for all this! Granted I don't have many OOT guests, and the ones I do have are my 2 brothers and my sister. their children are in the WP. Plus, we added up how much it cost to  allow all the guests with kids to bring them, UMMMMM NO WAY! Believe it or not making the reception adult only really helped our budget.
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  • island07b2bisland07b2b member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am debating this one. I am pretty sure we will end up with an "Adults Only" event with the exception of the two flower girls who are my FH's grand daughters. I love children but don't necessarily want them at the wedding.  I just think it will be a long evening for them and the last thing I want to hear or see are cranky children on my day.  However, if the venue can provide a really cool kids room and I can pretty much be assured they will be away from the event per se, then maybe. 

    If I do go with Adults Only, I am going to put that on the invite/RSVP and get it out word of mouth.  I won't apologize to anyone for my choice either.



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