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NWR house almost wife rant

hello ladies, 
i am feeling a little unapreciated lately by my FI and his house mate. both of them work and i am going to school and work a couple days a week/weekend. i feel as though i am just expected to do everything around the house, which dont get me wrong i dont mind, however when i dont even get a thank you or a good job. or that dinner was really good, it kinda feels like im a maid not a respected part of the house hold. so i guess im feeling like im not viewed as a equal member of this very odd house hold. any of you girls feeling that way? know its not much but my pay check is what buys our groceries and then he pays my cell bill, my gas, and car insurance/ up keep and all the other things that make the house go round. i may be totally un justified but i just want to know if my feeling are completely valid or if im just over reacting. 
thanks ladies you guys are so supportive on here and i absolutely love you guys. 
signed 
almost house wife in the middle north wes

Re: NWR house almost wife rant

  • They definitely could at least show a little appreciation.  I think a little chat with your FI is in order to let him know how you're feeling, and maybe his sudden rash of "thank you"s and "that was delicious" will inspire the housemate as well.

    That said; I read an article that hit home for me.  The general gist was that when you start keeping score and comparing if stuff is really divided 50/50 your relationship's in trouble.  Each person in a relationship should give 150%, give everything they can - and if one person can give more, that's okay.  You can then both be happy that your partner is putting in everything they've got.  You said you don't mind doing all the cooking and cleaning, so I'm guessing you're in the 150% camp, but I thought I'd share since it resounded for me - and maybe your FI could use to be reminded that by not being appreciative he's not giving his full 150%
  • You guys still haven't kicked out your housemate? Did you ever end up talking to your FI about why you don't like this guy living with you two?
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  • In Response to Re: NWR house almost wife rant:
    You guys still haven't kicked out your housemate? Did you ever end up talking to your FI about why you don't like this guy living with you two?
    Posted by justdance93

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  • I feel your pain. I live with my FI and his brother. There are times when I feel like I'm Cinderella. While I love my FI and I want to do everything I can for him, I do NOT want to be his brother's maid. This man is almost 30, he does not drive or cook for himself. We tried teaching him and that fell to the way side. My FI and I got into a huge fight right before we got engaged over him. We have plans for the future and unfortunately, need the brother and his paycheck  in order to secure a suitable house here in NJ. I REFUSE to continue this once we get a house, start having kids, etc and told my FI that we either get a 2 family or a mother/daughter.

    There are times when things get better though so hang in there! Don't be afraid to speak your mind though. You are an equal part of this relationship!
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