November 2011 Weddings

Shower List Debate....

My mom and I got into a 'debate' this evening about who is invited to the wedding shower... SO I'm calling on you all to settle it for us :-)

I recently was invited to a shower for a friend whos wedding is this coming summer.  I was rather suprised I was invited for whatever reason BUT regardless, my mom said that if you invite someone to the entire wedding festivities (ceremony/dinner/reception) you need to invite them to the bridal showers as well. 

This SHOCKED me!  I have WAY to many people on the whole wedding list and was NOT planning on inviting them all to a bridal shower!  It just seems like crazy talk! 

But - is she right? if you invite someone to the whole wedding does that mean they MUST get a shower invite as well?!?!
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Re: Shower List Debate....

  • You don't really HAVE to.  But you wouldn't be out of line TO.

    I think it is rude to invite people to a shower who aren't invited to the wedding, unless they ask to be invited.  I don't really know who loves bridal showers so much they ask to be invited, but my mother says they exist.
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  • In Response to Re: Shower List Debate....:
      I don't really know who loves bridal showers so much they ask to be invited, but my mother says they exist.
    Posted by dixie1337
    pahaha - this made me laugh.

    I'm just overwhelmed because I know its 100+ that would be invited to my shower if my mom was right and I was planning on having a much MUCH smaller shindig...
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  • IMO nooooooooo you don't. The shower is for the nearest and dearest (family and close friends) females. I'm having 3 showers (crazy, I know) -- 1 will have about 14 people (my dad's family + BMs), 1 will have about 30 (mom's family, FI's mom's family, + BMs), and 1 will have about 15 (BMs + other friends) .... so that's 60ish. And we're inviting approximately 215 guests to the wedding. So no, not all wedding guests will be invited to the showers. 
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  • Yeah, as far as I know, it's the other way around.  Everyone who is invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding.  You don't have to invite everyone from the wedding to the shower.
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  • Hmmm Ive heard both - I think the older tradition was you had to invite everyone (woman) invited to your wedding (doesnt have to include guests or plus ones but the main Mrs or direct invites), but more recently Ive heard its family and close friends. I agree though - who WANTS to go to a shower LOL
    I personally am keeping mine to family and primarily close friends with a few exceptions of women who invited me to theirs (of which I was also surprised, but still attended etc).
  • In Response to Re: Shower List Debate....:
    Yeah, as far as I know, it's the other way around.  Everyone who is invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding.  You don't have to invite everyone from the wedding to the shower.
    Posted by adunn09
    This.
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  • Nope.  Invite who YOU want to the shower.  It doesn't have to be everyone on the wedding guest list.  That would just make it HUGE!!!!!  So you win this "debate".  Wink
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  • Yea older tradition is that you invite all females invited to your wedding to your bridal shower. But back then wedding werent so big and it was only nearest and dearest invited to weddings anyway. Nowadays weddings are much bigger and some (dare i say) not so important people get invited to weddings.

    Im only suggesting that all my girl friends and close female family members get invited...

    BUT i think my FI mom might have a coed bridal shower for us thats seperate...I dont know though.
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  • I know this is a tad random, but when are we supposed to have the shower(s)? I know my WP says everyone you invite to the prewedding festivities should be also invited to the main wedding (ceremony/reception)
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  • Im having my shower aug 28th and wedding is nov 4th so like 9 weeks before.
  • I agree with pp. It's everyone you invite to the shower should be invited to the wedding. One reason why you get presents at your wedding is bc people who didn't attend the shower brings one! Lol
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  • AHHH perfect- thanks ladies :-)  Glad to hear I'm not crazy!
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  • In Response to Re: Shower List Debate....:
    Yeah, as far as I know, it's the other way around.  Everyone who is invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding.  You don't have to invite everyone from the wedding to the shower.
    Posted by adunn09
    Agreed. This is what I have heard as well.
  • You don't have to invite everyone to the shower that is invited to the wedding.  MOH asked me for a guest list for my shower.  My list only includes the women that I actually have some sort of relationship with.  The SOs of FIs friends/co-workers are not to be invited because I don't know them.  I would consider it rude to invite them since I don't know them. 

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