Catholic Weddings

Does anyone else have this problem?

I was sitting in mass yesterday, and I just felt so...discouraged.  Whenever I am at mass, I feel so good.  Whenever I am in the walls of the church, I feel like I can do no wrong, and be the best person I can be.  During each homily, I always think of the ways I want to apply God's teachings to specific areas of my life.  But then I leave, and life takes over.  It's not like I go out and gravely sin every day.  But there's always those little things I do, and each Sunday when I go back to church, I go "ugh, did I really do that this week?" in regards to the more trivial things (picking a fight with FI, responding in a snarky way when someone asks an honest question, swearing, etc).  I feel so filled with the Holy Spirit in mass, but as soon as I leave, I feel like it's gone.  And it makes me feel like something is missing (which it clearly is).  I pray regularly (multiple times a day), but I always get so distracted that my feeling when I pray goes away as soon as I start my next task.

I hope this makes sense.  I'm not sure if I'm even looking for advice or prayers or what... Maybe I just needed to vent?

Re: Does anyone else have this problem?

  • There's nothing wrong with venting :)  And there's also nothing weird about how you're feeling.  First, it's good to feel disappointed in yourself for sinning.  Second, the Eucharist has sanctifying grace associated with it. and so it's got a powerful impact!  Plus, Mass involves community prayer, which can be very powerful and grace-filled even without the Mass.  Perhaps trying to fit a daily Mass or two in the week would be helpful?  I know that can be hard for a lot of people, especially between work and trying to fit in time for the gym, etc etc.  But if you can swing it even one day, it's worth it!  If not Mass, then maybe try to find out of a local church has a "rush hour rosary" type thing.  My Parish does a rosary in the chapel at 5pm in the chapel.  It's a nice opportunity to fit 15-20 minutes of group prayer in. 

     

  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited March 2012
    Ditto Resa... try to fit in some daily prayer time or reflection to help carry your faith through the week!  I've found that listening to Catholic talk radio in the car and a weekly adoration hour has helped me to keep more focused... Do you get Relevant Radio in Milwaukee?  We have that in the Twin Cities and I believe its HQ is in Green Bay, so there might be one for you in WI, too.  That said... I totally do the same thing.  Beautiful Mass, engaging homily and the Eucharist... then I'm nagging the husband in the car on the way home right afterwards :-(


  • All the time, Chels, all the time.

    I long for the days that I went to a Catholic university.  I spent all my days with a lot of Catholic people and priests, I took theology classes, and I had a chapel right there whenever I wanted.  I could go to adoration, mass,  or just sit in the chapel anytime I wanted.  I feel like that really helped foster my faith.


    Now I live 45 minutes away from my church, and the other closer churches are so modern it bothers me.  Especially since there's no religious art or statues inside (I'm a visual person--I need religious images to keep me focused).  Heck, the closest catholic church to me doesn't even have a crucifix.

    Even disregarding location or modern-ness, I can never seem to fit daily masses into my schedule.  

    But all in all, I just feel like a hypocrite most of the week.  *Sigh*... but we must keep trying!  I think it's so much worse when we're NOT concerned about this stuff... we become prideful and complacent, and that just let's the devil right in.

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  • Several suggestions....

    Mass during the week

    Adoration chapel if possible

    Spiritual director-- You can explore what habitual sins you have, and where the root is. Take "picking a fight"... What is the source? Lack of peace with something? Unresolved issue? tired/cranky? emotional needs not being met?

    Also, making sure you stay out of H.A.L.T. (hungry angry lonely tired). When our needs aren't met, we are more vulnerable to temptation and habits taking over. Do you keep a clean (reasonably) house? Is this disturbing your peace? 

    Also, fasting can help in self mastery.
  • I think the better question is, "Does anyone NOT have this problem (at least sometimes or to some degree?"

    I love Daily Mass, but it is difficult to get to. I find that regular formal prayer (in addition to spontaneous prayer or reflective prayer) helps a lot. My H and I are fans of the Liturgy of the Hours, and of course the Rosary is always fantastic.

    I also find that if I've been away from Reconcilliation for longer than I should, I get more distracted at mass and more complacent about my actions (good or bad).

    Lastly, I feel really inspired by St. Therese of Liseux (she's actually my confirmation patron). Her "Little Way" is a spiritual path that is about doing little things with great love. Putting it into practice really transforms those others tasks that we must do as humans into a prayer or praise. I'm not always the best at it, but I strive for it. It makes me feel less "lacking" when I have to face those real-world things.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_does-anyone-else-have-this-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:4cd01b4b-2b5a-4f57-aad9-795f446d0a53Post:1501db34-986b-459d-9e9c-3748944f3830">Re: Does anyone else have this problem?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the better question is, "Does anyone NOT have this problem (at least sometimes or to some degree?" I love Daily Mass, but it is difficult to get to. I find that regular formal prayer (in addition to spontaneous prayer or reflective prayer) helps a lot. My H and I are fans of the Liturgy of the Hours, and of course the Rosary is always fantastic. I also find that if I've been away from Reconcilliation for longer than I should, I get more distracted at mass and more complacent about my actions (good or bad). Lastly, I feel really inspired by St. Therese of Liseux (she's actually my confirmation patron). Her "Little Way" is a spiritual path that is about doing little things with great love. Putting it into practice really transforms those others tasks that we must do as humans into a prayer or praise. I'm not always the best at it, but I strive for it. It makes me feel less "lacking" when I have to face those real-world things.


    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

    Funny, I have her prayer card on one of my night stands and sometimes during the day I just pick it up and read through once or twice.  amazing that she was so young.

    I know you can't always get to mass but sometimes just a visit can help.

    haha, my grandmother used to say "when you pass a church, stop and make a visit.  So when they have to carry you in, God won't say 'Who is it?'"
    Corny, yep ;)
  • Pick me, too...I think bibliophile put it best when she said "Does anyone NOT have this problem." I was just thinking that today...I keep having the same issues at work over, and over. 

    I seem to do better when I go to daily Mass, but like others, it's hard for me to get to it. Lacking that, I have Rosary Army's Rosary podcasts on my iPod, with meditations. I like it, but I know it so well now that I have trouble focusing on it sometimes...but when I can, it always helps me. I also listen to daily Mass on EWTN, which helps me too.

    Glad to know I'm not alone...I know I need to get to Reconciliation more often, I know that would make a big difference.

    Linda
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  • I'm visual, too, so I know that having constant reminders around the house really helps, particularly crucifixes. It's sometimes so easy and tempting to skip things like prayer and adoration, particularly when I'm in a bad mood, but glancing up at the wall and seeing our crucified Lord takes no effort or choice at all, so it's a nice way to check my behavior often.
  • Thank you everyone for the input! I really appreciate it.  I would love to go to daily mass, but my schedule is so crazy.  I think I will make a point to maybe do a rosary during lunches if I can too. That might help as well.  :)
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