When and where is it polite to register?

amandarashell · March 2012

Hello all!

I was just wondering when it is considered polite to create your registry. In that I mean how far before your wedding should that happen.

Also do you register at more than one store? Or is that horribly rude?

Thanks for your help!

ElisabethJoanne · March 2012

You can register as soon as you're engaged. Until your shower, only people who ask or research it will know you're registered anywhere, so it's no imposition on anyone to register early. Registry information is sometimes in shower invitations, sometimes not.

The standard advice is to register at 1 to 3 stores. As for where, I'd advise registering where you like to shop for homewares, with the exception of Target, which has a terrible reputation for registries. Also consider your guests' geography and whether they'll be shopping online.

Example: I registered at replacements.com for fine china (completing an inherited set) about as soon as I got engaged, because people were asking for my fina registry info as soon as I got engaged. We registered at Macy's and Sur la Table several months later. We did it in-store because several guests won't shop online, and inventory varies in-store v. online. We chose Macy's over Bloomingdale's because there's no Bloomingdale's in the region where about 20% of my guests live. Because no one's asked about my registry since I had a chance to set them up, only my fiance, my mom, and myself know about them.

hoffse · March 2012

You can register whenever you want, as long as it's at least a month before your first shower invitations go out. That said, you can register as early as you want - just know that some items will be seasonal or discontinued, so you may have to keep tabs on it until you're only a couple months out from your wedding. Personally, I feel like this is good to do anyway, and I find it helps keep me detached from the entire thing.... in that I've had to update things like dishes because my initial choice went out of stock (I eventually settled on fiesta), so now I will feel grateful if I get dishes, but it's no biggie if I don't. In watching my friends I've seen some be really disappointed because they didn't get that one thing they were dying to have.

As for things that aren't seasonal, fine china is a pretty safe choice to do early, so are certain crystal and flatware patterns, and some basic everyday dishes like the standard white plates that any given store sells are safe. If you're curious, you can go to replacements.com to find your pattern - they record when every pattern went into production, and some are decades old. Things that change are bedding, towels (except for pottery barn's standard issue towels for some reason), electric appliances, and some kitchen gadgets. Macy's has a nice feature that tells you which items they anticipate carrying for at least the next year by making them "registry recommended."

As for number of places, you can definitely do more than 1. These boards recommend 1-3, and I agree that's a good number if most of your guests live close to one of those stores, or if you are having a small-ish wedding. If you are having a very large wedding (~300+ people), multiple showers, you anticipate getting registry gifts for holidays and birthdays, or your guests are far-flung, then more than 3 is acceptable. I've seen up to 6, and that didn't bother me. In my circle 4-5 is pretty standard because there isn't a major chain local to my hometown. Girls in my circle tend to register at 1 local fine china place, and then 3-4 other major stores that are between 45 minutes - 1.5 hours away. So it also depends on your area. You might want to registry stalk a few of your acquaintances who have gotten married to see what's the norm if you're uncertain...

Finally, I think it's fine to register at several places and keep them private if you want to get the completion discounts (research these before you pick stores - they're different all over) because you've been eyeing stuff there and want to buy it yourself post-wedding. Just because you register doesn't mean you have to tell people about it. A LOT of stores offer an option to make a registry password protected, completely private to you only, or in-store only so that they aren't searchable on the internet. I know FI and I are considering doing this for Williams Sonoma... it's a great store, but pretty expensive, so we may do an in-store registry for them. If a guest actually makes the effort to go in-store and search for our registry that way, then clearly they want to buy us something from there, but we don't want it in their face on the internet.

sbelle85 · March 2012

We registered the weekend after we got engaged, and we are registered at 5 stores. The BBB is our "main" registry, and the others are much smaller and geared towards more specific needs.

Bed Bath and Beyond: Our basics. Dinnerware, bedding, coffee maker, cookware...

Pottery Barn: Towels and decorative items. We were completely unimpressed with the quality of the towels at BBB. Pottery Barn's 'PB Essential' towels are superb; very soft and very thick. So, all of our towels/hand towels/washcloths are on the PB registry.

Williams-Sonoma: A few higher end kitchen pieces, primarily geared towards entertaining, and table linens.

Macy's: Crystal

Home Depot (in store registry): The tools and housewares that my fiance wants/needs.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_when-and-where-is-it-polite-to-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:b93a15c4-95fe-45f3-bd75-da2f6febc4cbPost:ee1cffc3-f8b0-42bf-aa73-e9e6ee0e6c3f">Re: When and where is it polite to register?</a>:
[QUOTE]We registered the weekend after we got engaged, and we are registered at 5 stores. The BBB is our "main" registry, and the others are much smaller and geared towards more specific needs. Bed Bath and Beyond: Our basics. Dinnerware, bedding, coffee maker, cookware... Pottery Barn: Towels and decorative items. We were completely unimpressed with the quality of the towels at BBB. Pottery Barn's 'PB Essential' towels are superb; very soft and very thick. So, all of our towels/hand towels/washcloths are on the PB registry. Williams-Sonoma: A few higher end kitchen pieces, primarily geared towards entertaining, and table linens. Macy's: Crystal Home Depot (in store registry): The tools and housewares that my fiance wants/needs.
Posted by sbelle85[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Registering at 5 stores is a little gift-grabby, and I'd side-eye that, TBH. I'm currently registered at 3 and I feel that might be a bit much, but everyone around these parts says 1-3.

</div>

mbatzlaff · March 2012

We registered at 3 stores, Macy's, Target, and REI.

racholas · March 2012

Amanda - I noticed that you're in Nor Cal. Please send me a PM if you plan to register for fine china. I have a local hook-up, he is (his prices are) amazing. But, it's not a well-known store so it's not great for people who aren't local.

FWIW, I am registered at Williams-Sonoma, Amazon, and my china hook-up guy. The more particular you are about your stuff (e.g. foodie/cooking snob like me), the less likely you'll be able to find everything you want at one store. Registering for up to three stores is pretty common these days.

alpenningroth · March 2012

Honestly, I think three is fine, if you want more that's your choice. It gives guests options for gifts. Just keep in mind to register for enough! I find it incredibly frustrating when the registry is completed months before the showers/wedding. I've run into that with a few of my friends weddings. I like having choices so register for some high, low and middle of the road items as far as pricing goes.

We have yet to register, but have already been asked about registries. I almost feel bad telling them I haven't done it yet! (We've been engaged since Nov. but just set a date in the last couple weeks...)

Also, I see nothing wrong with Target's registries and have dealt with many of them. I'm planning on registering there.

When and where is it polite to register?

Re: When and where is it polite to register?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards