Help?

Re: Help?

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  deregniern

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm not sure this is the best place to be posting this question as total strangers may not be the best way to go with this one.... but, I would say it is totally up to you two when you get married.  A marriage/wedding is about the two of you, not the two of you and everyone else.  Hope that helps....

  
  
  

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  MaggieandJake member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm not sure what you mean by legally getting married now but celebrating it later...

  Does this mean that you plan to get married now (it sounds like probably in a simple ceremony or at a courthouse the way you worded it), but then hold another ceremony and reception 2 years later?

  
  

  If that is the case, people on the Etiquette board ask this type of question all the time and get flamed for it, because really, once you're married-you're married, you can't get married to each other again, unless you divorce in between. They would however,say it's fine to do a vow renewal 2 years later and invite guests, but without the traditions of a wedding party, showers, bachelorette party, and the expectation of gifts-since it would be inappropriate because you're already married.

  
  

  Personally, I think you can do whatever you want, because it's your relationship, and your marriage/wedding-though I would probably side-eye a friend or relative who chose to have a 2nd wedding (as opposed to a vow renewal) when in fact they were already married. 

  I think if it's that important to your fiance that his best friend be a part of the wedding-then wait.  Otherwise I say get married whenever works best for you and your fiance and then celebrate with his friend when he gets back by doing something fun together (dinner, drinks, dancing, vacation, etc)

  
  

  Congrats on your engagement!  

  
  

  **I hope this doesn't come off as sounding harsh-I really tried to write it in a way so that it wouldn't.  I just wanted give you an honest opinion/advice. 

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  Mcsweets member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Agreed - if you want to "be married" now, then that is going to be your wedding   Nothing wrong with having a big party when he comes home though!
  
  I do, however, think you shouldn't decide when your wedding is based off someone else ... its not about the 3 of you, its just the 2 of you.  To me, my husband was the only one I really cared about being there ... everyone else was just a bonus!

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  Jonathan&Erin member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Totally agree with what MaggieandJake said.  You will get a lot of side eyes if you choose to have a wedding now and then another one two years later, unless you choose to have the second more of a big party without wedding-related things.  You could even maybe just throw a welcome back party for him?  It won't be about you and your husband, but I'm sure he will very much appreciate it.  Good luck

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  medusia00 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I tend to agree with PP, If I were you i'd either wait and have time to plan the wedding for him to come back. Or you could have your wedding now and then have a big party when he gets back. In my eyes you can't have 2 weddings it's only speical for 1 day, your wedding day!

  
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