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Out of town guests to Rehearsal Dinner?

jennaglenn85jennaglenn85
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I know it is proper etiquette to invite out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner.  BUT neither my FH or I are from GA (where we live now and are having our wedding).  Therefore the majority of the guests will be coming from out of town.  I am trying to keep my budget under control and cannot afford to have that many people attend the rehearsal dinner.  Is is improper to only invite immediate family and wedding party and not other out of town guests?
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Re: Out of town guests to Rehearsal Dinner?

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    georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    First Comment
    If 100% of your guest list is OOT, then it doesn't make sense to invite them all to the RD. In your case, you're fine just inviting people involved in the wedding and immediate family (I'm including grandparents in this).
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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment

    If everyone is traveling for your wedding it would be nice to have something for them the night before.  Maybe you can arrange for a cocktail hour or something with some light appetizers.  I don't think you need to do a full dinner for everyone, but it would be nice of you to do something for them.

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    ellen82ellen82 member
    First Comment
    What you COULD do is do your rehearsal dinner (with whomever you want) and if you feel the need to greet the out of town guests, you could maybe have a cocktail hour at the hotel where most guests are staying? You dont have to pay but you could include a welcome note to the guests and letting them know. You could say: Welcome to our weekend wedding! If you wish, we will be at X at X hour. Feel free to join us!

    That way you can still see your out of town guests but you dont have to pay. Just an option if you are interested :)
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    PharmacyBridePharmacyBride
    First Comment
    I say it completely depends on the situation.

    The point of the rule is to host your guests that came from OOT - who would otherwise have nothing else to do.

    Here are some reasons I think it is okay to not invite them
    1. If there is a bunch of them- they may just spend time together
    2. If OOT guests prefer to arrive Saturday morning
    3. They are from the area or know a lot of people in the area (chances are they want to spend time with old friends or family)
    4. If there is a lot to do in the place they are visiting (historic towns, big cities, etc)

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    georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    First Comment
    See, my opinion is they're there for your wedding, and they chose to travel. As long as you thank everyone and speak with them individually at your reception, there's no need for a pre-wedding day meet and greet. I personally wouldn't have had time to talk to every wedding guest the night before. I just think that's redundant.
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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Proper etiquette is only the WP, their dates, immediate family, and their dates. We're inviting OOT guests only because FMIL is paying for it and wanted to.

    The wedding I went to last week had "sweets in the suite" - they rented a meeting room at the hotel for the weekend and had a small dessert reception for OOT guests who arrived the day before. Less expensive than the RD, but still nice. They also had pastries and coffee the day after the wedding.
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    Lapontoona6Lapontoona6 member
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    95% of our guests are out of town and FI and I got into a tiff about this very subject.  I have very close family friends (like consider them my second parents) that I'm upset bc FMIL has restricted the RD guest list to parents and WP only.  I'm still frustrated by this issue but decided this was not one of my battles to pick.
    our RD is WP, their spouses and parents - that's it. 
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    bellebride116bellebride116
    First Comment
    Everyone who came to our wedding was OOT. We did a dinner with just our families {not even bridal party}, and then we did a welcome dessert party after dinner for all our guests. It worked out really well! 

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    georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
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    belle, that's the best first look picture ever! So cute!
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    slubkinslubkin member
    First Comment
    edited August 2010
    Most of my FI's family is local but most of mine will be coming from out of town. 

    We decided that our RD (2 days before the wedding) will be WP ONLY + parents.  That limits it to about 10 people so the cost won't be so high, and I feel like more than that and you start to need a seating chart because everyone is locked into a spot at the table and can only really talk to those near them. 

    However, we wanted to welcome our family as well, so we will be doing a low-key, casual BBQ/pool party the day before the wedding so our family can meet in a less intense situation.  Plus this way, FI's family can feel good about hosting this event and showing off their lovely house and yard, and everyone can relax and play a bit the day before the big day. 

    We also planned it this way so that our OOT family doesn't have to arrive 2 days before the wedding to attend the family dinner, and to give our WP an extra day to recover from any overindulgence in wine at the RD so everyone will be fresh and bright eyed for our noon wedding!

    EDIT:  We are also planning on having an optional post-wedding brunch the morning after (we won't be hosting so guests will order their own food and pay their own way).  This will hopefully be a chance to see and chat with any friends from out of town (or local) who felt like they didn't get enough "face time" at the reception.
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    bellebride116bellebride116
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_out-of-town-guests-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66149614-db18-46a7-ad82-21b7cc830b78Post:3ca00194-78e3-44eb-a052-92c0c2d0cf38">Re: Out of town guests to Rehearsal Dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]belle, that's the best first look picture ever! So cute!
    Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks! :)</div>

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