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Didn't get a new ring...

roxiroseroxirose
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in Just Engaged and Proposals
My first Valentine's Day I spent with my fiance (boyfriend at the time), he gave me a ring he made by hand in a jewelry class out of sterling silver. It's nothing special, besides the fact that he made it himself. It's not spectacular looking or anything, but I was always very proud to say that I found someone special enough to make me a ring with his own two hands...

When we were talking about getting engaged, he decided to make me another ring, as an engagement ring. Then we talked it over and how it would be expensive to get the materials and such, since last time he didn't pay for his own materials. Anyway, he asked if it was ok if he used my promise ring as an engagement ring when he proposed.

I have to say, a part of me was hoping that he'd at least buy me a new ring... Am I being selfish and materialistic?



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Re: Didn't get a new ring...

  • slunderslunder
    First Comment
    This is actually something that we've been discussing as well. I think that in the society we are in, we see it as customary to receive a ring as a symbol for the love and marriage. After a long discussion this afternoon, we came to the conclusion that we too are going to use my promise ring--given to me 3 Christmas' ago--as a "committment" ring (as opposed to an engagement ring). My fiance-to-be and I have been planning our wedding to happen in the spring, but he hadn't officially "proposed" in the traditional sense because he felt that doing so without a ring would make me sad. When I explained to him that I would much prefer him to use my existing promise ring as a symbol of recommiting our love, instead of a ring that has no ast relevance, he feels much more comfortable with the idea.

      At the end of the day, as long as you're marrying someone you love, little things won't matter, just follow your heart and do what you feel is right!:)
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  • desertmomnmdesertmomnm
    First Comment
    I voted I can see both sides, but if it were me, I would have wanted a new ring and one with a stone.
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  • Vintagelove4Vintagelove4 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I can see both sides. Maybe talk to you FI about it? If money is the issue then why not wait till your one year and get a really pretty ring then when there isn't a wedding to pay for?
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_didnt-get-a-new-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8f158f9b-28fb-449b-91b7-c6ef5bb3b19fPost:f098501f-4aba-4165-b0a8-365a1f0c304c">Re: Didn't get a new ring...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I voted I can see both sides, but if it were me, I would have wanted a new ring and one with a stone.
    Posted by desertmomnm[/QUOTE]

    I agree. One thing I love about my ring is that it is basically the first thing that caught my eye when I was proposed to. It's not huge by any standards, but it was a part of the moment and that's what makes it so special!
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_didnt-get-a-new-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8f158f9b-28fb-449b-91b7-c6ef5bb3b19fPost:f098501f-4aba-4165-b0a8-365a1f0c304c">Re: Didn't get a new ring...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I voted I can see both sides, but if it were me, I would have wanted a new ring and one with a stone.
    Posted by desertmomnm[/QUOTE]

    DItto
     
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  • gsg717gsg717
    First Comment
    I can see both sides. It's not selfish to want what you want. But it's not fair to him to tell him you're ok with one thing, and then be disappointed b/c you really wanted another. Rings are all about personal preference and you deserve to be happy with what you have.

    Maybe you can get another ring for an anniversary a few years down the line, when he's in a better position to provide that. That was the agreement with H when he bought my engagement ring since he couldn't afford what I wanted (which is simply a larger version of what he got me). I also didn't want him to put off proposing/marrying me just because of a ring.

    As long as you have the man of your dreams by your side, the rings won't matter. And at least you can stick your hand out and say, "He made it for me!" That is super special IMO.
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  • tiny specktiny speck member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    I voted no, there's nothing wrong with wanting a new ring. Getting engaged and married is so much bigger than promising to become engaged one day...

    Have you considered getting a new engagement-like ring with a stone for your wedding and then wearing that together with your current ring as your wedding set?
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  • cnf2013cnf2013 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I can definitely see both sides. Perhaps pick out a new e-ring together and use the one he made you as your wedding ring to retain the sentimentality of it?
                                                                                  Follow Me on Pinterest
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  • Starrs12Starrs12
    First Comment
    I agree about the society comment someone made. When people get married, it's basically tradition to give her a ring. In which is usually a diamond(s). If you really want one, then let him know. You two can look into getting something affordable. It doesn't have to be anything major, just a little something. My fiance bought me my birhtstone with two small diamonds to the side. It was affordable and nothing wild, just simple. It was perfect. Sure, I've always imagined having a big diamond, but to me it's the meaning of the ring and not the ring itself. That's what matters most. I think it's sweet he made you something. There's a story behind it and it was made specifically for you. Now you get to wear it for the rest of your life. :)
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  • mattycammattycam member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_didnt-get-a-new-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:8f158f9b-28fb-449b-91b7-c6ef5bb3b19fPost:f098501f-4aba-4165-b0a8-365a1f0c304c">Re: Didn't get a new ring...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I voted I can see both sides, but if it were me, I would have wanted a new ring and one with a stone.
    Posted by desertmomnm[/QUOTE]

    Me too.
    http://www.theknot.com/contests/my-real-wedding/photo/161064/mattycams-wedding-traditionally-classy Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • ljsquintzljsquintz member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I would have wanted a new ring too!
    Anniversary
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  • sunnilovesunnilove member
    First Comment
    i voted i can see both sides, i think what youre missing is the whole got down on one knee propsal....how many girls can say " heya yeah my fiance MADE that ring" wow totally cool, i think you should step back and realize how truly awesome that is!!!!!
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