Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

Advice for FH picking out Best Man

JessycaFJessycaF member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
My FH is having a hard time picking his best man. His friend Dave was supposed to be his best man, but unfortunately Dave died last year... My FH has a very close group of 5 friends, and he doesn't know how to choose any one of them over the others. And since my MOH has been by best friend since 3rd grade, I really don't know what advice to give him. Anyone have any thoughts?
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: Advice for FH picking out Best Man

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    He doesn't have to have a BM.  If he can't choose between his 5 guy friends then just have them all be GMs and forget about the BM title.

    Also, since the person that was going to be his BM died, you could list him in the program as an honorary BM.  This way he is still remembered and a part of your day.

    Report Reply
  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    Ditto Maggie. 
    April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker Bio-Updated 4/22**
    Report Reply
  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_advice-for-fh-picking-out-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c1c1284c-fad1-4f39-beb1-e11080fe0fefPost:ee514da6-3e3a-450b-9059-507111cbba00">Re: Advice for FH picking out Best Man</a>:
    [QUOTE]He doesn't have to have a BM.  If he can't choose between his 5 guy friends then just have them all be GMs and forget about the BM title. Also, since the person that was going to be his BM died, you could list him in the program as an honorary BM.  This way he is still remembered and a part of your day.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    This sounds like a good way of handling this situation.  Also, I'm sorry for your FI's loss.
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Mimmer04Mimmer04 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    It is not necessary to have a best man.  I agree with the PPs that the best option is to just have 5 groomsman with no BM and if you want, list Dave as the honorary BM in the program. 

    If you go this route, just divide up the best man "duties" among the 5 GM.  By this I mean, have one of them hold the rings, have another escort the MOH, have a third give a speech (or have more than one give a combined speech) etc. 

    Like I said, I think the no BM option is the way to go, but if you really want a BM, here are a few alternatives:
    1) Do either of you have a brother or brother-in-law?  If so, make him the BM.
    2) I have seen examples on these boards of grooms having their Dad be the Best Man.  Personally, I am not a huge fan of this, but I know in some cultures it is actally quite common and even tradition.  Stepdad, grandfather, especially close uncle etc. would also work.
    3) If Dave had a brother, you could ask him to stand in for Dave.  I think your WP should be your nearest and dearest, so assuming your FI wasn't that close with Dave's brother, I don't really love this idea, but it could be a nice way to honor Dave.
    4) Have your FI talk to his 5 friends and ask them what they think.  They may come  up with some great alternative that no one else has thought of.  Maybe they will draw straws.  Who knows? I feel like 90% of the questions asked on these boards could be resolved, but just sitting down and having an adult conversation with the persons involved.
    5) If all else fails, pick a name out of hat ;).

    In the end, as long as your nearest and dearest are standing up with you on that day, titles don't matter.  Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • JessycaFJessycaF member
    First Comment
    Thanks Everyone! This is actually along the same line of what I was thinking, though I never would have considered listing Dave in the program. I love that idea. I feel like splitting the duties makes so much sense. We had already talked about having one of his friends be our officient. I think we're going to have a sit-down on Saturday to hash out some of the early details. I hope he goes for it, lol.
    image
    Report Reply
  • wowand135wowand135 member
    First Comment
    What do people think he should do if he doesn't choose a BM - who stands next to him? (My FI has the same issue - 5 guys and can't choose.)
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    As far as who stands directly next to him...either pull a name out of a hat or flip a coin because it really doesn't matter who stands next to him...they are all GMs and non of them are more important then the rest.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards