Moms and Maids

HUNTER GREEN??

My soon-to-be mother in law is wearing HUNTER GREEN to my wedding - MY COLORS ARE PURPLE & CHOCOLATE BROWN!!! What's a bride to do?!?!  Ewww...I'm dreading pictures.

Re: HUNTER GREEN??

  • trix1223trix1223
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to HUNTER GREEN??:
    My soon-to-be mother in law is wearing HUNTER GREEN to my wedding - MY COLORS ARE PURPLE & CHOCOLATE BROWN!!! What's a bride to do?!?!  Ewww...I'm dreading pictures. And to top it ALL off...my mom is wearing what looks to me like a tattered old potato sack that hangs off of her. :( How do you put it nicely to them that THAT AINT IT babe!!!!!  :o(
    Posted by lpennington5
    The only answer you give is the one my wonderful DIL gave me:

    ME:  What do you want me to wear for the wedding?
    DIL:  Whatever you feel beautiful and comfortable in.

    Or the answer my darling DD gave me:
    ME:  I think I found a dress I'd like for your wedding.
    DD:  Did you buy it?
    ME:  No, I wanted to run it by you first.
    DD:  Mom, if you love it, it's perfect.  Go get it.

    Your MIL can wear any color she wants.  She's not in the WP and doesn't have to match the color scheme.  I have been both MOG and MOB.  In the thousands of photos taken, there isn't a single picture:  not ONE, of the moms with the WP. 

    The closest is that our two DD's were in the WP for son and DIL's wedding, so we had a family photo taken.  The single only time that I was in the same photo as 2 of the 5 BMs.

    As for what your mom is wearing.  It's her choice, not yours.  If she loves the dress and wants to wear it, then that's what she wears.  And frankly, I find your description to be mean spirited and unkind.

    You get to choose the attire of your WP for your wedding.  You don't choose anyone else's attire.  Let this go.  Your post, while you may not have meant it to, sounded terribly "diva" to me.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • lpennington5lpennington5
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    edited December 2011
    But for those of us the world who DO kinda care...and I KNOW I'm not the only one. I read about it all the time in magazines. Maybe I sound mean spirited and diva...or maybe it's just my MIL I don't like. ???
  • BeeBee22BeeBee22
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    B
    Maybe I sound mean spirited and diva...or maybe it's just my MIL I don't like. ???
    Posted by lpennington5

    All of the above may be true.  Stop reading about brats in magazines, it encourages bratty behavior in the reader. Wedding magazines are in business to make you buy things.  A good way to make people buy things is to make them think things HAVE to be a certain way.  Gets them all overwrought.  

    People will watch the way you behave under pressure during this planning time.  Be gracious. It's a good habit to develop.

    There's nothing wrong with the color, but your FMIL won't be in photos with your wedding party, so it's not even an issue.  You, however, should really tone down the b+tchyness.  No one will remember what she wore, but they will remember if you were ridiculous about it.

    BTW, if you lay a piece of chocolate fabric down, purple and hunter laid on top are perfectly complementary colors.  Try it.

  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak
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    edited December 2011
    So?
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • edited December 2011
    You're dreading pictures that will never be taken. Stop being a diva and let the woman wear what she wants.
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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    But for those of us the world who DO kinda care...and I KNOW I'm not the only one. I read about it all the time in magazines. Maybe I sound mean spirited and diva...or maybe it's just my MIL I don't like. ???
    Posted by lpennington5
    You do realize that even your style will be outdated at some point in time? Your making a fuss and unneeded drama over a dress. I've seen Brides come here crying about the moms wearing white, ivory, and champagne but hunter green? That is a new one. Also green does fit in your "color scheme" so I really do not know why you are complaining that it won't match. You can not dictate what color dress she wears because it makes you look like a Bridezilla and will probably hurt your FMIL feelings.
  • trix1223trix1223
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    But for those of us the world who DO kinda care...and I KNOW I'm not the only one. I read about it all the time in magazines. Maybe I sound mean spirited and diva...or maybe it's just my MIL I don't like. ???
    Posted by lpennington5
    You're taking your cue from bridal magazines? 

    Those publications that exist only to convince you to buy stuff that their advertisers sell? 

    Those publications that have made the cost of a typical wedding balloon to what is more than a full year's salary for many people?

    Those publications that have almost unlimited funds to hire professional stylists, decorators, and photographers who can stage something and then take 4, 027 shots until they get exactly the right lighting amd angles to make something look better than you'll ever be able to recreate?

    Those publications that have convinced far, far too many in a generation of women who think that a party has to be a huge "unique" event or their marriage is doomed?

    Those publications that have convinced those same women that being the bride means that they have carte blanche to act thoughtlessly and demand ridiculous things of their friends and family?

    THAT'S where you're taking your advice from?  Yes, that's a very, very wise choice on your part.  A very wise choice, indeed.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Oh noes, hunter green, it's the end of the world as we know it! Seriously, hunter green will look fine with brown and purple, not that it matters. She is under no obligation to match your palette.

    Have them take the photos in black and white if her choice of colour is so offensive to your eyes, and get over it.
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  • jagore08jagore08
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    edited December 2011
    Would you rather her wear white or ivory?
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  • edited December 2011
    It will be fine. She is not part of the WP so she won't be in any pics of you and the rest of the WP.

    Both of our Mom's wore purple colored dresses to our wedding and purple was one of our wedding colors. It looked just fine. Nothing to stress over, chill out.
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  • edited December 2011
    Excuse me (holds up hand), BeeBee22 is right, chocolate, purple and hunter are complementary colors. My DD has chosen hunter green with expresso and oatmeal accents as the color pallette for her wedding. Her Grandmother, FMIL and I are all wearing dresses in shades of maroon/burgandy (which is kind of in the purple family) -- we've had all of the dresses together and it looks lovely. As others have said, let it go -- other than yourself, groom, BMs and GM you don't get to dictate what color or style anyone wears to the wedding. You have a lot more important things to worry about.
  • edited December 2011
    Wow it seems like you are really taking a beating on here! Aren't we all here to share our ideas, joys and yes to vent. Even if you don't agree I don't think you need to be so snarky, just don't comment. You don't even know this girl but I think some of you should look at how mean and sarcastic your comments are. My future MIL went against everything with her daughter's wedding because she didn't get her way and now with ours it's looking like a similar pattern so all I can say is hang in there. My colors are purple and green so I bet your pictures will be great or else I'll have an album full of mismatch lol!
  • AutumnFairAutumnFair
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    Wow it seems like you are really taking a beating on here! Aren't we all here to share our ideas, joys and yes to vent. Even if you don't agree I don't think you need to be so snarky, just don't comment. You don't even know this girl but I think some of you should look at how mean and sarcastic your comments are. My future MIL went against everything with her daughter's wedding because she didn't get her way and now with ours it's looking like a similar pattern so all I can say is hang in there. My colors are purple and green so I bet your pictures will be great or else I'll have an album full of mismatch lol!
    Posted by Kisstine3
    Unless you are new to the internet any person who explores a message board knows to lurk first, she could have easily seen over a dozen of MIL, MOB, Grandma, etc wearing X color topics and got her question answered of "what to do?" She's stressing over a dress color that actually DOES compliment her color scheme and even if it didn't, she should leave what her MIL wears alone because no person looks good telling someone else HOW to dress (seriously if someone came up to me and said that the color of my dress doesn't match her colors I would be hurt and mad). 

    And since this IS a message board anyone can say whatever they want, however they want (abiding by the rules of personal attacks or flaming) so if a person doesn't like what they are hearing that is too bad, you don't get to dictate how people respond. 

    Trust me your not the first person to give the "omg, this is a place for puppies and rainbows. how can you be so mean as to disagree and bring to light the rudeness of the person's thought process?" speech, and we give the same response. Plus OP is lucky she didn't put this on WP or Etiquette board which are way more blunt then Maids and Moms.  
  • lalap69lalap69
    1000 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    What's so horrible about hunter green?  Let your FMIL wear whatever she likes and feels good in.  I promise you, it doesn't matter.  She does NOT need to match the WP.

    And if you don't like her...well, she's going to be in your life for a long, long time.  Now might be a good time to figure out a way to deal with her without pitching fits.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN?? :   And since this IS a message board anyone can say whatever they want, however they want (abiding by the rules of personal attacks or flaming) so if a person doesn't like what they are hearing that is too bad, you don't get to dictate how people respond.  
    Posted by AutumnFair
    I couldn't agree with you more but I think that also means I'm free to say what I think. I don't think being "all puppies and rainbows" is a bad thing I mean we're talking about weddings not politics.
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN?? : I couldn't agree with you more but I think that also means I'm free to say what I think. I don't think being "all puppies and rainbows" is a bad thing I mean we're talking about weddings not politics.
    Posted by Kisstine3
    Just because we're dealing with families and not nations doesn't mean it's not politics, honey.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • lalap69lalap69
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN?? : Just because we're dealing with families and not nations doesn't mean it's not politics, honey.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak
    This.
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm going to start waving my bitch stick right now so bear with me.

    I am so, SO sick of brides coming in here and whining about what other people (mothers and mothers-in-law usually) are wearing.

    There was a thread the other day with someone freaking out about their FMIL wearing an ivory pant suit because ZOMG NO ONE SHOULD WEAR WHITE BUT THE BRIDE!

    And yet it seems that no matter what other color a woman may choose, whether it's hunter green or blaze orange or yellow with purple polka dots, it's just not the right color.  My God, people.  What the hell is a woman supposed to do.  She's damned if she wears ivory and she's damned if she picks any other color because you don't think it "goes" with your wedding colors.

    News flash: Your mother in law is probably not the only one who will wear a color that "doesn't go" with your wedding colors.  It's asinine to obsess about what other people are wearing because I swear to freaking hell, NO ONE will notice unless she's wearing a hunter green dress with a plunging neckline that reachers her belly button.

    FWIW, I think hunter green goes fine with your colors.

    Cool the eff off.

    Alright, as you were...
    panther
  • AutumnFairAutumnFair
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN?? : I couldn't agree with you more but I think that also means I'm free to say what I think. I don't think being "all puppies and rainbows" is a bad thing I mean we're talking about weddings not politics.
    Posted by Kisstine3
    And you can be all "puppies and rainbows" all you want, it's totally fine if you do not want to ruffle people's feathers, the only thing I have problems with is when people come in and dictate about how I can or can not comment. This might not be politics but it's a free debate on if OP's justified for hating her FMIL dress and what should she do. 
  • tpender13tpender13
    2500 Comments
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    edited December 2011

    OP, you're being a tad ridiculous. I don't think most people would have FMIL and the WP in the same pictures anyway...

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  • trix1223trix1223
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    edited December 2011
    I seriously <3 you, AllAboutTheBenj.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • trix1223trix1223
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    Wow it seems like you are really taking a beating on here! Aren't we all here to share our ideas, joys and yes to vent. Even if you don't agree I don't think you need to be so snarky, just don't comment. You don't even know this girl but I think some of you should look at how mean and sarcastic your comments are. My future MIL went against everything with her daughter's wedding because she didn't get her way and now with ours it's looking like a similar pattern so all I can say is hang in there. My colors are purple and green so I bet your pictures will be great or else I'll have an album full of mismatch lol!
    Posted by Kisstine3

    Kiss:  may I suggest that you might be more comfortable on a local board or on weddingwire.   They tend to be more affirming.  Here we don't validate bad ideas or bad behavior.  Some people call that being mean.  I call it a much needed reality check.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    I seriously <3 you, AllAboutTheBenj.
    Posted by trix1223

    Aw shucks trix :) I <3 you too.
    panther
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    She's damned if she wears ivory and she's damned if she picks any other color because you don't think it "goes" with your wedding colors. News flash: Your mother in law is probably not the only one who will wear a color that "doesn't go" with your wedding colors.
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin
    And may all the gods forbid that she wears one of the wedding colors.  Because then a hellmouth opens right underneath the reception, and that will REALLY mess up your pictures.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN?? : And may all the gods forbid that she wears one of the wedding colors.  Because then a hellmouth opens right underneath the reception, and that will REALLY mess up your pictures.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak

    YES!  Because ZOMG IT WILL LOOK LIKE SHE'S TRYING TO BE A BRIDESMAID.
    panther
  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN??:
    In Response to Re: HUNTER GREEN?? : Kiss:  may I suggest that you might be more comfortable on a local board or on weddingwire.   They tend to be more affirming.  Here we don't validate bad ideas or bad behavior.  Some people call that being mean.  I call it a much needed reality check.
    Posted by trix1223
    This!

    People come on here and ask for other peoples' opinions, they're gonna get em!
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  • LisaLPharmDLisaLPharmD
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    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't get too upset. Chances are, there will be very few pictures with your FMIL and bridal party together.  It'll probably just be you and your fiance in the family pictures, so you should be fine!
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  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    FWIW, I was just in a wedding where the colors were ivory and blue (a bright but soft-ish blue), and the bride's MIL wore the most gorgeous, stylish chiffon strapless hunter green dress. (So it didn't coordinate at all with the BMs or wedding colors.) It really, honestly did not create a clashing problem. She looked fabulous on her own, but she certainly didn't take away any attention from the radiant bride in white! And I believe there were very few pictures with MIL and any bridesmaids. (Other than a full family-and-WP shot or two, the small number of photos that did include MIL and BMs were taken because the bride was gracious enough to include MIL's daughters in her WP.)

    And yeah, I agree with PPs--chill out a little. :) MIL can wear whatever she wants--be glad she isn't wearing an even crazier color or something from her closet with big shoulderpads that she bought in the 80s!
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