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My Mom hates my reception location (long)

axiddanceraxiddancer member
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in Moms and Maids
Last June I picked a reception hall that had everything I wanted.  High celings, hardwood floors (no ugly carpet), and two huge staircases leading up to the ballroom.  Plus, it's in a building near a beautiful river with walking bridges, gardens and trees, and lots of art work in the building and sculptures around the grounds.

I really want lots of pictures of my wedding and wedding party more than just people standing in a row.  My photographer has done weddings in this same location and she is excited for all of my ideas and has plenty for me to try.  The pictures mean everything to me!

However, my mother is now freaking out about the cost of everything and wants to move the wedding and hour and a half away to her country club.  It's a very nice club.  But the building is all on level (so no staircase pictures) and there aren't any gardens.  Lots of trees and a small pond.  And no artwork or sculptures anywhere.  Plus, the country club will still be open during our wedding.  Members won't be allowed in the ballroom but everyone there knows my mother and really likes her so I'm afraid they will sneak in to see her. 

Plus, we would get married outside where the 18th hole is.  I'm not worried about flying golf balls, but I am worried about people being loud. This happened to a friend of mine who was married there 2 years ago.

Any advice would be helpful!!
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Re: My Mom hates my reception location (long)

  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-mom-hates-my-reception-location-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a270fbc5-2ff4-4d67-861c-5692940879e7Post:054e5016-742d-4ab2-b8c2-618d8dbfd33d">My Mom hates my reception location (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Last June I picked a reception hall that had everything I wanted.  High celings, hardwood floors (no ugly carpet), and two huge staircases leading up to the ballroom.  Plus, it's in a building near a beautiful river with walking bridges, gardens and trees, and lots of art work in the building and sculptures around the grounds. I really want lots of pictures of my wedding and wedding party more than just people standing in a row.  My photographer has done weddings in this same location and she is excited for all of my ideas and has plenty for me to try.  The pictures mean everything to me! However, my mother is now freaking out about the cost of everything and wants to move the wedding and hour and a half away to her country club.  It's a very nice club.  But the building is all on level (so no staircase pictures) and there aren't any gardens.  Lots of trees and a small pond.  And no artwork or sculptures anywhere.  Plus, the country club will still be open during our wedding.  Members won't be allowed in the ballroom but everyone there knows my mother and really likes her so I'm afraid they will sneak in to see her.  Plus, we would get married outside where the 18th hole is.  I'm not worried about flying golf balls, but I am worried about people being loud. This happened to a friend of mine who was married there 2 years ago. Any advice would be helpful!!
    Posted by axiddancer[/QUOTE]
    Who is paying?



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  • axiddanceraxiddancer member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-mom-hates-my-reception-location-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a270fbc5-2ff4-4d67-861c-5692940879e7Post:27e36cde-a9ec-47af-8ac0-166c1314fba9">Re: My Mom hates my reception location (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to My Mom hates my reception location (long) : Who is paying?
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

    It's a combination of my parents, my fiance's mother and us.  My parents are paying the food and alcohol portion, my dress, and for half of the cake.

    My fiance's mother is paying transportation (which goes up at the second location), rehersal dinner (which goes up at the second location) and appetizers (which goes up at the second location). 

    We're paying for everything else.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Did she agree to the place you have now before you signed the contract?
    Report Reply
  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-mom-hates-my-reception-location-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a270fbc5-2ff4-4d67-861c-5692940879e7Post:1cec2b47-f0ba-4ccc-be4f-3e7e726f87ba">Re: My Mom hates my reception location (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mom hates my reception location (long) : It's a combination of my parents, my fiance's mother and us.  <strong>My parents are paying the food and alcohol portion, my dress, and for half of the cake.</strong> <strong>My fiance's mother is paying transportation (which goes up at the second location), rehersal dinner (which goes up at the second location) and appetizers (which goes up at the second location).</strong>  We're paying for everything else.
    Posted by axiddancer[/QUOTE]

    So then you are paying for the hall?  What's the problem then?
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Will the food and alcohol cost more at the location that you prefer? If so, pay the difference between the food/beverage package at the country club and the catering at the location that you booked. Since the parents were paying for a major part of your wedding, they should have been consulted on the costs before you booked.
                       
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  • axiddanceraxiddancer member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-mom-hates-my-reception-location-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a270fbc5-2ff4-4d67-861c-5692940879e7Post:577bd948-da15-495a-9cdd-ffa0a92f5fb2">Re: My Mom hates my reception location (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did she agree to the place you have now before you signed the contract?
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    Yes.  She was with me when I signed the contract.
    Report Reply
  • BostonGIrl4732BostonGIrl4732 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_my-mom-hates-my-reception-location-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a270fbc5-2ff4-4d67-861c-5692940879e7Post:24881197-226d-4406-8777-42476e9e164b">Re: My Mom hates my reception location (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mom hates my reception location (long) : Yes.  She was with me when I signed the contract.
    Posted by axiddancer[/QUOTE]

    <div>If you signed a contract and she was there and approved, I don't think there's much she can do about it now.  She should have spoken up BEFORE you signed the contract.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'd figure out with the difference in catering costs are and pay the difference if it's really a money thing.  You signed a contract, and paid a despoit.  It's your wedding and it sounds like you want it at the first place.</div><div>
    </div><div>Good luck!</div>
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