Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion
Options

Bridal shower drama

gatorgirl2010gatorgirl2010
First Comment
in Wedding Party
My mom offered to help my maid of honor plan and pay for my bridal shower.  Mom was really excited about contributing and frankly, I was glad to know she'd be involved.  I thought my mom might be able to neutralize some of my MOH's ideas that don't quite sit well with me (ex - a lingerie shower).  However, when I talked to my MOH about including my mom in the planning process, she retorted with, "If you don't trust my judgment, you can turn total control over to your mom."  I was kind of stunned and agreed to talk to my mom about maybe backing off.  I spoke with my mom, who was hurt, and the more I think about it, the more it bothers me.  I don't want my MOH to feel like her role is being usurped, but I don't think it's an unreasonable for her to collaborate with my mom.  What do you ladies think?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Bridal shower drama

  • Options
    SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    First Comment
    FIrst of all, its none of your business who throws it. The proper route would have been to give your mom your MOH's contact info and let her offer to help the MOH in person. By you acting as the go-between, you are directing your own shower, which is not good. But since what is done is done:
    1- Apologize to your MOH because YOU usurped her planning.
    2- TELL her you are not comfortable with a lingerie shower. She still gets to throw it if she wants to, but you can tell her you don't want it. If she insists, you can decline the shower altogether and just not have one.
    3- Give your mom your MOH's contact info, and then stay out of it.

    Remember that a shower is a gift, and no one has to throw one for you. Also, anyone can throw one, not just your MOH.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Apologize and then stay out of it.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    gatorgirl2010gatorgirl2010
    First Comment
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-shower-drama-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:305b7f51-a340-4dba-9a7e-80563854b06aPost:07759dab-af04-48b9-a73c-41a2fbac6bc7">Re: Bridal shower drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Remember that a shower is a gift, and no one has to throw one for you.[/QUOTE]

    You know, you're right.  I guess I'm neck-deep in the planning mindset and had completely ceased viewing it as a gift and started viewing it as something <em>I </em>needed to manage.
    I still think it would be nice for them to come to an agreement, but I'll stay out of it.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-shower-drama-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:305b7f51-a340-4dba-9a7e-80563854b06aPost:3d4312da-1fff-408d-aed1-b5de068c3e8c">Re: Bridal shower drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal shower drama : You know, you're right.  I guess I'm neck-deep in the planning mindset and had completely ceased viewing it as a gift and started viewing it as something I needed to manage. I still think it would be nice for them to come to an agreement, but I'll stay out of it.
    Posted by gatorgirl2010[/QUOTE]

    <div>It happens to all of us.  At times like this, it's good to take a step back, mix yourself a margarita (or a glass of wine--there's a raging debate on this board about which is best but I'm firmly in the margarita camp), get a pedi and watch a stupid movie.  It will seem like a much bigger deal when you're done.  And if you tell your mom/MOH exactly what you wrote here, I'm willing to bet it will blow over right away.</div>
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    First Comment
    Good call, OP. Just let them figure it out (and deal with any potential drama) - all you have to do is show up and enjoy yourself on the day.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Married bio

    Pro pics

    Travel and expat life blog

    Report Reply
  • Options
    boydjessboydjess member
    First Comment
    I'm a firm believer in Vodka and cranberry!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Good call OP!

    The only thing I'd do is express your opinion WHEN they ask you about it.  Beyond that, stay out of the discussion. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CTGirl30CTGirl30
    First Comment
    Vodka tonics. :-)

    And yes, good call to stay out of the situation and not to invite any more stress than need be.
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Mimosa's for this one! and yes, just let them deal with it. After my shower I heard crazy things that happened, but no one involved me in it, and everyone worked it out themselves and threw me such a nice shower.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards