Do I be Nice or Not?

JessAndTrav · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:7236a1f9-6cb6-493f-a3d1-0ce61e77881c">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I be Nice or Not? : What?
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

What she said.

wrigleyville · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:ad9584cf-6d91-4896-92df-c749082045a7">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I be Nice or Not? : Well all I really know is you're not supposed to have sex before marriage (whoops on that one), no diamonds dutrng the ceremony, and if your H converts and is circumcised, <strong>they still need a drop of blood from the shaft.</strong>
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
What? For real? How? I'm genuinely confused/interested. Like, does he put it in a little vial or something?

J&K10910 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:fd80f904-eb37-41bf-88a3-2d2d4484c0ca">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I be Nice or Not? : No they just cut it with a sterile instrument and I assume they just let the blood drop (drip?).
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />

ElisabethJoanne · July 2012

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/519895/jewish/I-would-like-to-convert-but-I-am-already-circumcised.htm

wrigleyville · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:fd80f904-eb37-41bf-88a3-2d2d4484c0ca">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I be Nice or Not? : No they just cut it with a sterile instrument and I assume they just let the blood drop (drip?).
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]
Ohhhhhhhh... I thought you meant he had to keep a drop of blood after the actual circumcision to show the rabbi as "proof". The rabbi actually makes a tiny cut since he isn't doing the actual bris.<div>
</div><div>Gotcha. I feel so silly now.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, ouch. :(</div>

JessAndTrav · July 2012

I don't know that H could get on board with getting sliced there. Yikes.

ElisabethJoanne · July 2012

We are hoping a rabbi will say a few words about or from the Torah, or will direct the bride and groom to say a few words of Torah.

wrigleyville · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:665644ef-84fb-4338-92ef-49f41d3ec13c">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]But don't worry guys! I checked and it still works!
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>/snort</div><div>
</div>

ElisabethJoanne · July 2012

I don't want to get into details, because E will hate the larger plan (something all actually concerned have discussed and dealt with), and I don't want to put myself out there for more ridicule, but I did say that this would be at the reception. The ceremony text we have.

Also, it's not that we're unsure of what the rabbi would say, even at the reception, if he's there, but whether a rabbi will come at all.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:888ddf63-a96a-4427-bab6-a72a8f873739">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't want to get into details, because E will hate the larger plan (something all actually concerned have discussed and dealt with), and I don't want to put myself out there for more ridicule, but I did say that this would be at the reception. The ceremony text we have. Also, it's not that we're unsure of what the rabbi would say, even at the reception, if he's there, but whether a rabbi will come at all.
Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]

So...whatever is you're doing is an E faux pas?

PrimRoseMama · July 2012

Yes, write a thank you note. They probably had no idea your mom didn't clear it with you.

kllyons · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:a5284413-ed2d-418a-ade7-62fdc7e8dadc">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto, J. Mentioning her mom messed up to these people is not good. Talk about a way to make someone feel like poo. Also, there is no way to know if these people got a printed invitation or not. OP may not have sent them one, but her mom could have just given this couple her own invitation or grabbed an extra one when OP wasn't looking.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>--We had all of our invitations, and all the envelopes were printed on. The only thing I could think of is if she re-sent the invite in a different envelope. But I would hope my mother would keep my wedding invitation as a keepsake and not sent it to someone else.</div><div>Thanks for the advice, didn't think I'd get so many responses. </div>

kllyons · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-be-nice-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f0a8094-6f4f-4216-94d7-6a1fa7207907Post:8555f6c1-cd88-466c-9f0b-21519328cfcc">Re: Do I be Nice or Not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I be Nice or Not? : This. Write the note. Also, just curious - where did they sit?
Posted by ghowlett[/QUOTE]

<div>--I don't know if they were at the church, but at the Reception, they sat at one of the first tables closest to the dance floor. Totally opposite side of where my parents sat and the bridal party.</div>

kllyons · July 2012

I didn't mention it before, because I didn't want to go off topic, but it just erks me the wrong way...the whole situation. My mother is someone who has to be in control and if she's not, she finds a way to get her way or throws a fit, holds a grudge to eternity (but never admits she has a grudge), and judges everything negatively. She never has any consequences because everyone's afraid of her. She raised me to be afraid of her, and I've told her that, and I got zero response out of her about it. She raised me that way so I could be her little minion(sp.?) and do everything "mommy" tells me to do. But when I moved out 2 years ago, it was the best decision I have ever made. She cannot control me any longer. Let her feel powerless and weak.......see, I ranted and went off topic lol.

Any whoo, I'm just taking a break from my mother and when I'm ready to speak to her again I will. I will write the thank you note and get over it. If I do that, I will feel like the bigger person. I guess I just felt that if we wrote the thank you, I was letting her win once again. She invited people and they got recognized for it.

Thanks for all the advice (both harsh and kind).

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