AHR Invite Question

breaness · May 2011

I've been lurking the etiquette board again... I know, I know, I need to stop.

A girl just posted there about her FMIL wanting to host an AHR for them and it having a larger guest list than the DW. Of course, everyone there is telling her that people can't be invited to the AHR if they aren't invited to the DW.

ETA: Which, I understand is "proper etiquette" but etiquette aside...

Did anyone here actually invite everyone to both?

I sure as hell didn't. 6 people (other than us) at our wedding, 62 at the AHR.

erin10885 · May 2011

Nope we invited about 60 people to KW and 145 to the AHR!

Kayla&Brian412 · May 2011

If we were having one, we'd invite everyone to both. With FI's large family it's either all or nothing with them! No way to cut the list down

Miracle520 · May 2011

We're doing a religious ceremony at home with a small dinner as our version of an ahr. We're not inviting a lot of people but some will be invited to that only, not the DW. I think it's ok to do esp if you're keeping the DW small. But to each their own I suppose.

sld0618 · May 2011

Nope, I cut Hawaii at close family and our PB and then the AHR is everyone!

sparklegirl84 · May 2011

Yes everyone is welcome at both the Dw & Ahr. except im not planning to send invites to family outta state for the Ahr- its for local friends coworkers & fam.

aukelly · May 2011

I think if you are only doing family for the wedding it is fine to have a larger AHR. It would be the same as having a family only ceremony locally. I do get it though. I might be offended if I were only invited to the AHR but others (not just family) were invited to a cool DW. Now I might not make the DW but at least I was invited. So I get the etiquette behind it.

We just made it easy and invited everyone.

kimmykupcakes · May 2011

There will only be 21 of us on Maui and we are inviting over 100 to the AHR. The whole point of getting married on Maui was to do a small wedding. The etiquette boards can bite it!

breaness · May 2011

Someone just posted this link over there: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/destination-weddings/qa/home-reception-after-destination-wedding.aspx

Funny too, because that is definitely the place that I heard of the reception at home the first time!

Yeah, I need to just stay away from the etiquette boards. I'm not sticking to perfect etiquette with most things. We're obviously not going out of our way to offend anyone, and I honestly don't think anyone will be offended by anything we're doing, but there have been several occasions where I've been ripped apart for the choices we've made.

qtpie11 · May 2011

We only invited immediate family members and our BP to the DW. For our AHR we're inviting 135 guests. I say do what you want.....

beckerz03 · May 2011

If I was doing an AHR I would invite more. I don't plan on inviting people with kids (adult only resort), so the AHR would be the spot where they could celebrate with us. Like Kelly said, I understand the etiquette thing, but there are so many etiquette rules that I just say to hell with them...as long as you are not putting your guests into uncomfortable spots or being rude (which varies to some degree) I say do what you want.

AHR Invite Question

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