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Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour...

EmmaJayyneEmmaJayyne
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
at the moment, i have three relativly young bridesmaids, (1,8,12, and 15) although we arnt getting married for two years, my sister will still only be around 14 and i wanted her to be my maid of honour however due to her age she wouldnt be able to do many of the traditional duties, e.g. signing the register, hen night planning and potentially attendence and obviously i wouldnt be able to talk about any problems etc with her as much again because shes not really old enough to help. therefore, i was wondering would it be acceptable to have her be a sort of maid of honour pretty much in title only and i do the hen night etc. myself and find someone else to sign the register, or to ask a friend thats older? the only issue is really her age. any help would be appreciated!
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Re: Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour...

  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    All the maid of honor has to do is get the dress and show up, stand next to you, smile for the pictures, and maybe hold your flowers.   So yes, of course she can do that.  I think it would be really sweet.

    Party planning isn't one of the requirements.  If someone else wants to do that for you, you can accept the offer.  It's not appropriate for you to plan your own parties, so if no one offers, you miss out. 

    Planning the wedding is up to you and your groom.

    You can pick another attendant of age or any guest to sign the register.
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  • LeiselEBLeiselEB member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to Re:Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour...:[QUOTE]In Response to Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour...:at the moment, i have three relativly young bridesmaids, 1,8,12, and 15 although we arnt getting married for two years, my sister will still only be around 14 and i wanted her to be my maid of honour however due to her age she wouldnt be able to do many of the traditional duties, e.g. signing the register, hen night planning and potentially attendence and obviously i wouldnt be able to talk about any problems etc with her as much again because shes not really old enough to help. therefore, i was wondering would it be acceptable to have her be a sort of maid of honour pretty much in title only and i do the hen night etc. myself and find someone else to sign the register, or to ask a friend thats older? the only issue is really her age. any help would be appreciated!Posted by EmmaJayyneNo maid of honor is required to plan your wedding NIGHTLY, let alone at all. nbsp;I don't know what you mean by potential attendance but they're not required to do that either.I would keep her as your maid of honor and just have a friend of age sign the register. Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]


    Edie, I think she meant that her sister wouldn't be old enough to attend or plan the hen night, which is another term for bachelorette party.

    Either way, your sister doesn't need to do those things in order to be your maid of honor. Your bridesmaids don't have to plan the hen night, either, but I'm sure if they want to throw one, one of them will step up and plan if your sister can't. You've got a long time until any of these needs to be on your mind, though.
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  • blgroutblgrout
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-with-bridesmaidsmaid-of-honour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef4ca0a9-a918-46fc-ba64-54ec7892a168Post:9ac4490c-a115-4446-8bc1-3b084b4ec244">Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour...</a>:
    [QUOTE]at the moment, i have three relativly young bridesmaids, (1,8,12, and 15) although we arnt getting married for two years, my sister will still only be around 14 and i wanted her to be my maid of honour however due to her age she wouldnt be able to do many of the traditional duties, e.g. signing the register, hen night planning and potentially attendence and obviously i wouldnt be able to talk about any problems etc with her as much again because shes not really old enough to help. therefore, i was wondering would it be acceptable to have her be a sort of maid of honour pretty much in title only and i do the hen night etc. myself and find someone else to sign the register, or to ask a friend thats older? the only issue is really her age. any help would be appreciated!
    Posted by EmmaJayyne[/QUOTE]

    There's no reason why she can't be your Maid of Honor.  As PP said, there's no age restrictions on who can stand up next to you when you get married, you would just get someone of legal age to sign the marriage certificate. 

    I also agree with the advice from PP that you should leave the planning for any parties up to other people, it's in very poor taste to plan a bachelorette/hen party for yourself.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • EmmaJayyneEmmaJayyne
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    to edie, the hen night is the same as a bachelorrete, (im british not american!) so i didnt mean she would be doing any planning nightly, it was in regards to the hen night which due to her age she may not be abble to attend as a majority of ususl activities would require participants to be over 18.

    Also, i wasnt suggesting that she wouldnt be a bridesmaid, she would still stand next to me weraing her dress regardless, it was more about whether she should be given the "maid of honour" title or if it ought to be someone older, as i know she would like to do the things that a maid of honour would traditionally do she just wouldnt be able to. not that im suggesting that she HAS to do anything, im just thinking of how it usually plays out. Also, the only reason that it was suggested that i planned my own hen night was because it was suggested to me by other people, and as it is in essence a girls night out, its not like people would be bring gifts like a bridal shower so although it would usually be done by bridesmaids, with the ones i have it wouldnt be appropriate for them to plan it therefore it seemed like a good solution. unless i had an older bridesmaid.
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  • lacey3eblacey3eb
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-with-bridesmaidsmaid-of-honour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef4ca0a9-a918-46fc-ba64-54ec7892a168Post:9ac4490c-a115-4446-8bc1-3b084b4ec244">Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour...</a>:
    [QUOTE]at the moment, i have three relativly young bridesmaids, (1,8,12, and 15) although we arnt getting married for two years, my sister will still only be around 14 and i wanted her to be my maid of honour however due to her age she wouldnt be able to do many of the traditional duties, e.g. signing the register, hen night planning and potentially attendence and obviously i wouldnt be able to talk about any problems etc with her as much again because shes not really old enough to help. therefore, i was wondering would it be acceptable to have her be a sort of maid of honour pretty much in title only and i do the hen night etc. myself and find someone else to sign the register, or to ask a friend thats older? the only issue is really her age. any help would be appreciated!
    Posted by EmmaJayyne[/QUOTE]

    You have a 1 year old bridesmaid?  That seems a little more odd to me than having a 15 year old maid of honor.  I'd leave party planning to the adults in your life for IF they choose to throw a party in your honor whether it be a hen night/bachelorette party or shower.  Your 15 year old sister might try to do a little something on her own which would be sweet of her if she does but totally not an expectation to.  You can just have another adult sign the marriage register after the ceremony.  Also, you are getting married 2 years from now.  Take your time in choosing your bridal party.  You might make some awesome adult friends in that time who you may wish to have stand up with you.
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  • EmmaJayyneEmmaJayyne
    First Comment
    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-with-bridesmaidsmaid-of-honour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef4ca0a9-a918-46fc-ba64-54ec7892a168Post:1fdb7280-2b3a-49e0-a2ca-16c25aa1d656">Re: Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Help with Bridesmaids/maid of honour... : You have a 1 year old bridesmaid?  That seems a little more odd to me than having a 15 year old maid of honor.  I'd leave party planning to the adults in your life for IF they choose to throw a party in your honor whether it be a hen night/bachelorette party or shower.  Your 15 year old sister might try to do a little something on her own which would be sweet of her if she does but totally not an expectation to.  You can just have another adult sign the marriage register after the ceremony.  Also, you are getting married 2 years from now.  Take your time in choosing your bridal party.  You might make some awesome adult friends in that time who you may wish to have stand up with you.
    Posted by lacey3eb[/QUOTE]

    the one year old is my daugter, who is going to be my flower girl. but i felt that that still made her part of my list of bridesmaids. as you said with the time we have, nothing is set in stone yet but my sister would have been my first choice if she was older. i just wondered what other people thought would be the right way to approach the situation.
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