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help... no clue what I am doing

iheartsmwiheartsmw
First Comment
in Michigan-Detroit
Got engaged in June, getting married in three months. Weddings aren't my thing, but now I am having a 300 person wedding in 93 days! We are closing on our house in two weeks so we are on a pretty tight budget. Found a hall at a good price, friend's mom helping with flowers and friend going to DJ for us.

Dress comes in next week and will have first fitting but I CAN'T FIND SHOES I LIKE IN MY BUDGET. I am 4'11 and the groom is 6'2". I can dance and walk in 4-5 inch heels (that's what I wear to the office) and it is comfortable for me. WHERE CAN I FIND CUTE/UNIQUE SHOES UNDER $50?

We have ten bridesmaids and eleven groomsmen plus my two close guy childhood friends are the ushers. SHOULD THEY MATCH THE WEDDING PARTY OR JUST MATCH EACH OTHER?

I would like to do DIY wedding invitations and centerpieces. I am not too picky and the colors are royal blue and burnt orange. ANY IDEAS?

I have ten bridesmaids - what are appropriate (but not cheesy) GIFTS I SHOULD GET THEM?

We didn't do save the dates and the wedding is Oct 29th, WHEN SHOULD I SEND INVITATIONS? ARE ONLINE RSVPs TACKY? (Trying to save money) (Obviously we will have mail in RSVPs for the older generation)
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Re: help... no clue what I am doing

  • Meg1036Meg1036
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok, first breathe.

    Here we go:

    1) I bought my shoes at DSW for $30.  Other girls have had good look at Zappos.com.  You want cute, comfortable shoes, but don't worry about it too much - most people don't see them, after all.

    2) The ushers can match the wedding party, but don't have to.   I've definitely just seem them in their own black suits with matching ties before.  I'm not having ushers, but that's probably what I would do.

    3)  I am not a DIY-er.  I ordered my invites online.  Saved time, and while not as cheap as DIY, was cheaper than a local stationer.  I actually linked through Costco's webpage, and got and additional 20% discount that way.  There are lots of online websites.  If you're pressed for time, I would recommend looking into them.

    4) Gifts.  You can worry about gifts later, if you want.  Shop for things they like.  I got mine each a Vera Bradley costmetics bag (is a useful size for lots of things, actually), and a $25 gift certificate to stores they shop at.  Other girls have other ideas, but the general feeling on TK is that you shouldn't just get them jewelry to wear in your wedding - that's a gift to you (and your pictures), not them.

    5) Invites should go out around 8 weeks prior to reception, regardless of whether you sent save-the-dates.  Save-the-dates are completely optional.

    I think online RSVPs are ok if you are not having a formal reception; if your reception is formal, I think it doesn't set the tone right.  Keep in mind that people have had problems with many of the Knot's online tools, so I would shy away from using any kind of online RSVP service in favor of using email, if you go this route.
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  • sheshedukeshesheduke member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well welcome and congrats. Sounds like you have your hands full but you are off to a good start! The ladies here are great so surely you will get the help you are looking for.

    As a fellow orange bride (orange and chocolate brown) I am in love with your colors. Check out the clearance rack for most stores. i know right now Michael;s is having a sale on fall and winter stuff.

    I know I have seen a ton of orange print yourself invites in michaels all in the past few weeks. If you are a DIY kind of girl I would say order the pockets from cards and pockets design them yourself in powerpoint or something print them off and hand stuff them yourself

    DSW is the way to go for shoes on a budget that are cute and reasonably priced. Since you can do high heels and surely you have a tiny foot if you are only 4'11 stereotype I know sorry but if you do have a small foot a lot of websites have really cute shoes for cheap in the small sizes like zappos even bakers.

    Vistaprint which is a printing site for invites and even bridesmaids gifts you can et them all personalized items like tote bags, pens, notepad to fit their personalities for really cheap. Sign up for their emails and you will get all kinds of coupons to save money even free stuff.

    Online RSVP's is the way to go and a great way to save I wish i would have done that cause people are seriously trying to text in their response hecks no send me back my .44 lol so it is not cheesy at all

    I would have the RSVP deadline to be one month before your wedding so you can have time to track people down and still give the final numbers to your reception venue.

    Good luck and I hope that helps!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker /br {Planning Bio updated 6.3.11}
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  • sheshedukeshesheduke member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_clue-am-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:a7088e32-510c-4c88-acf8-7df502e6e795Post:df7c5f82-a9da-45f2-b96d-8c33e138fa9a">Re: help... no clue what I am doing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, first breathe. Here we go: 1) I bought my shoes at DSW for $30.  Other girls have had good look at Zappos.com.  You want cute, comfortable shoes, but don't worry about it too much - most people don't see them, after all. 2) The ushers can match the wedding party, but don't have to.   I've definitely just seem them in their own black suits with matching ties before.  I'm not having ushers, but that's probably what I would do. 3)  I am not a DIY-er.  I ordered my invites online.  Saved time, and while not as cheap as DIY, was cheaper than a local stationer.  I actually linked through Costco's webpage, and got and additional 20% discount that way.  There are lots of online websites.  If you're pressed for time, I would recommend looking into them. 4) Gifts.  You can worry about gifts later, if you want.  Shop for things they like.  I got mine each a Vera Bradley costmetics bag (is a useful size for lots of things, actually), and a $25 gift certificate to stores they shop at.  Other girls have other ideas, but the general feeling on TK is that you shouldn't just get them jewelry to wear in your wedding - that's a gift to you (and your pictures), not them. 5) Invites should go out around 8 weeks prior to reception, regardless of whether you sent save-the-dates.  Save-the-dates are completely optional. I think online RSVPs are ok if you are not having a formal reception; if your reception is formal, I think it doesn't set the tone right.  Keep in mind that people have had problems with many of the Knot's online tools, so I would shy away from using any kind of online RSVP service in favor of using email, if you go this route.
    Posted by Meg1036[/QUOTE]

    Great minds think alike I see lol. I love the ladies on this board!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker /br {Planning Bio updated 6.3.11}
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  • bee&beebee&bee member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, for shoes I would look online or maybe bridal salons?  I got mine online but I paid about $65-$70 for them. 

    The ushers, not sure since we're not having any. :/

    Gifts for your girls, shop for them as if it was their birthday.  What do they like, if they collect anything or like certain things get that for them.  It doesn't all have to be matchy-matchy, unless you want them to all be the same.

    Centerpieces, do you want flowers? no flowers? floating candles? It can be as simple or not simple as you want it to be. It may be easiest to get a vase or bowl from the $1 store and put floating candles in them and call it a day.  All depends on what look you are going for.

    Invites, I believe we are printing them ourselves, very simple and basic.  Nothing fancy or crazy.  I want post card RSVP's no envelope and less postage.  I'd send them out as soon as you get them since it's pretty much Aug already.

    Best of luck and just breathe, it will all come together, don't be afraid to make decisions and once you decide don't 2nd guess yourself!!
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  • Meg1036Meg1036
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    sheshe- I thought the same thing, "great minds" when I saw your post.
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  • rcj2rcdrcj2rcd
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome to the board! The other girls have already posted everything I would have suggested, but I just wanted to post and say hi, and congratulations!!! and you've come to the right place! The girls on this board have awesome advice and tips :)
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  • zulamayzulamay
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'll be really honest - I'd just pay to get your invites done.  I DIYed mine and it takes quite a long amount of time, and you're already feeling stressed.  There are so many nice ones out there, so give yourself a break and let this one DIY slide - 300 some invitations will take forever! :)

    You could also try Kohl's for shoes - I got a basic pair there and then you can buy shoe clips which could be resold later. (Try Etsy.com for shoe clips)

    Also, I HIGHLY recommend you pick up a copy of Real Simple's Wedding magazine...it has a planning checklist and lays out answers to a lot of your questions here.  It just might help your breathe a bit. :)
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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  • wymancolwymancol
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hi! I don't have a lot to add, except endless.com is a wonderful website for shoes! You can search by price/color/size/heel height, and they always have free one or two day shipping and free returns. 
    Also shopstyle.com is great, like endless you can search by style/price/color and it brings up products from all different websites.
    Good luck with everything! 

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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The advice you have been given is great. Just wanted to say "welcome and congrats".

    I got my shoes at www.amazon.com. Like the prior site recommended, you can search by shoe color, heel height, style, etc.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Website and Bio Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • matuofmmatuofm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_clue-am-doing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:a7088e32-510c-4c88-acf8-7df502e6e795Post:9900ff53-3d9f-4f13-8062-8b708637f109">Re: help... no clue what I am doing</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi! I don't have a lot to add, except endless.com is a wonderful website for shoes! You can search by price/color/size/heel height, and they always have free one or two day shipping and free returns.  Also shopstyle.com is great, like endless you can search by style/price/color and it brings up products from all different websites. Good luck with everything! 
    Posted by wymancol[/QUOTE]

    I second endless.com.  I got both my wedding shoes and some for our engagement shots there, and they're absolutely gorgeous and stylish - and each pair was under $35.    I ordered my engagement pic shoes at 7:00 on Monday evening and they were at my door at 3:00 the next afternoon.  Genius!  Welcome to the board, congratulations, and BREATHE.   :)

    p..s. - I would also suggest having your invitations done.  I'm sending mine out on Monday, and I'm on week three of basically working on them every waking moment.  I adore them completely, but jeez, am I ready to be rid of them....
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • tcage001tcage001
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome and congrats, it seems like you have a great starting point and are on the ball. The pp advise has been great and the ladies on this board are awesome! Good luck and happy planning
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • janicejabjanicejab
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
      Hello and congrats! You have a lot on your plate right now, but the other ladies have given you good advice.
       I bought my shoes from DSW for $35 and signed up for their email offers and received a $10 voucher in the mail. They said I could come back with the shoes I already bought and they would credit me back the $10 in cash, but I ended up buying another pair of shoes anyhow.
      I used Vistaprint for our invitations. They have Livingsocial offers all the time to get $50 worth of stuff for $10 and it also gets you 30% off your order. I bought 3 different Livingsocial deals (1 under my name, one under FI's name and one under FMIL's name). My invitations, RSVP cards, reception cards, escort cards, thank you notes, envelopes and an address stamp all cost about $70 for 80 of each. Look on the DIY board on here and usually someone will post when the Livingsocial deal is going on. Also, if you look to the left side of Vistaprint's website, there's a section where you can get free stuff. You have to pay shipping, but it still helps. You can also see about doinga postcard RSVP as a PP mentioned- the postage is 28 cents instead of 44 cents. Also, if you want to keep postage costs down, don't do square invitations, or invitations larger than 6" x 9" because the post office charges more for these shapes. Also, keep the total weight under 1 oz. They also charge more if there's a rigid object or large bump (from a gem or knot in a ribbon) in the envelope because they have to hand sort those items. 
      If you aren't on Joann and Michael's email lists, get on them now. You will constantly get coupons in you email box, which saves a ton of money. I set up a separate email address for wedding stuff so my regular email doesn't get inundated with wedding solicitations.
      Shop for your bridesmaids like it's their birthday. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, but I would write a thank you note to each so they know how important they are to you. That will probably mean more to them than a trinket anyhow. 
     Finally, try to stay calm and organized. Make a list of what needs to be done and sit down with your fiance. Decide what tasks each of you is going to do. Prioritize tasks so the most important things get done first.
      Really all that matters is that at the end of your wedding day you are married to the man of your dreams. There are going to be hiccups along the way and things aren't going to go 100% as planned. But, from what all the married ladies say, it all kind of dissolves and doesn't matter once you see your fiance at the end of the aisle.
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  • klreese0213klreese0213 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011


    Wow.. it sounds like you're a little over whelmed. Take a breath. Yes, planning in 3 months is stressful but not impossible!

     Shoes- look around at some local stores/malls.Don't rush yourself. you can buy your shoes the day before and still have them for the day. take a breather. i found my shoes on clearance for $5 from Kmart! They are perfect for me and super comfy.  i wasn't looking for my shoes, they found me :)

    Ushers- i think it's approperiate for your ushers to match one another. From my understanding (from other weddings) the ushers dress similar to the GM, but not matchy/matchy. ie- same suit, different vest/tie color if it's more of a formal event. However, if youre going to budget friendly, i would say similar/matching suits would be approperiate.

    Invites- IMO, with your time crunch i would not DIY my invites. if you want the DIY look maybe look on Etsy.com.
    For our invites i'm DIYing them, i will be getting a lot of things off Vistaprint.com for free (pay for shipping). i plan to use the "post card" size for a lot of the inserts and plan to buy cardstock and cut the card stock to fit just a little bigger then the paper/invite side.
    my inspiration came from this blog (i plan to do her pocket fold idea): http://hannahandben.weebly.com/essentials-stds-invites-programs-etc.html

    BM gifts- you could do gift cards to their fave locations and/or pay for their manicures, hair, or makeup as a gift. a lot of people say do not give your day-of jewerly to them as a gift. I have gotten this on at all the wedding i've been in (as the only BM gift) and i have never given it the side eye. but i suppose it depends on your bridal party. maybe add a little extra to it.. such as a cute clutch for the day with the day of jewerly.

    Invites- i believe should go out 6-8 weeks before you wedding. with 300 guests, i would definitely do 8 weeks. we will be sending out invites out about 2 months (8 weeks) before our day.

    Online RSVP- i think this is a great idea- IF your family is internet savy.


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  • iheartsmwiheartsmw
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You guys are awesome! thanks for all the replies! Sorry I had to write the questions in CAPS so it would be easier to understand what I was actually asking for since my post was so long! I am actually pretty calm - but my post probably seemed hectic. I am not stressing too bad actually (and we are closing on a house in two weeks thats needs major work/updates and I started at a new company yesterday!), I just don't know where to get stuff... BUT NOW I DO! THANK YOU!!!!! You gus are awesome! Thank you and good luck on your weddings also! 

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  • VikletViklet
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats! :) I'm in your shoes... I got engaged July 5th and my wedding is Sept. 9th! I'm planning mine in about 67 days. I have 41 to go... (ish)

    Invites: I went to Hobby Lobby and JoAnn Fabrics and found very cute DIY invites. I bought mine from JoAnn for $25 (plus a 15% teacher discount, but JoAnn has 40% coupons all the time - ask around). Therefore, the invites were less than $1 each b/c they came in a box of 25.

    I printed them on a regular, at home printer. All in all, printing and assembly took me about 12 hours - I did them by myself. If you had a BM or someone help, the time would be cut substantially. They looked like they were professional and turned out beautifully. I got MANY compliments on them. (what a relief!)

    Gifts: I just went to the Coach outlet this weekend and bought each of them a wristlet purse, They were about $28-$30 each.

    As for shoes and centerpieces, I'm still working on those. :) But, I have been finding things on craigslist that people are trying to sell at a low cost from their weddings. Check that out.

    I would only say to you not to stress. It will all come together - it has to! :) And, when it does, it will be one of the best days of your life.

    Good luck!!  And, if you come up with any great, inexpensive ideas for your centerpieces, please share!
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