grandma as a bridesmaid????

gooshbaby · April 2010

4 months before the wedding and 2 of my bridesmaids dropped out because their to busy with their own lives. I told my grandma this and she said that she'd love to be a bridesmaid and that it really hurt her that i didnt ask to begin with because we are so close. So i told her that i would love for her to be a bridesmaid.

But, My fiance doesnt like this at all and doesnt want her to be a bridesmaid. I was originally going to have her sing at the ceromony but he didnt want that either. I dont know what to do and the girls need to order their dresses really soon.

Is their any other roles that my grandma could do? I already told her she could be a bridesmaid tho. Seems either way im going to hurt her or piss off my fiance. what to do? I dont think it should be up to my fiance on whos my bridesmaids.

AutumnFair · April 2010

Well, since you already ask grandma it would be poor taste to dismiss her from the party. So I say keep her. And FI needs to butt out of your side of the party, its your choice for bridesmaids as it is his choice for groomsmen. And why is he so against her singing? I've been to number of weddings where the grandma sang a solo.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

You've already asked her, and it would be really hurtful for you to take that back now. She's not going to be your FI's biggest fan if you tell her he's why, either. But still, it's not worth it to hurt your grandma's feelings. At this point, you ought to just leave her as a BM, and tell your FI to suck it up.

Mothers and aunts are BMs all the time. I don't see why grandma can't do it.

mbcdefg · April 2010

Kepp her as a BM and tell your FI to get over it.

gooshbaby · April 2010

he thinks people will make fun of us. to be fair, my grandma acts like a 20 year old, not the usual fragile grandma and we are very close.

mbcdefg · April 2010

Why does he care about what immature, judgemental people think of him? Someone who'd be mean enough to say, "Haha you losers, your grandmother is a bridesmaid, she looks so stupid" has to be a special kind of d0uchebag. NORMAL people would be nothing less than touched if your grandma was a BM.

gooshbaby · April 2010

thanx guys! i told him i already asked her and i know it'd def. hurt her feelings. Apparantly, she cried to my dad several times because she had wanted to be in the wedding. So it must mean an awful lot to her. I'll tell him to suck it up.

baystateapple · April 2010

Awww, I kinda like the idea of Grandma being a bridesmaid, especially if it means that much to her. Tell your FI to stuff it. They're YOUR BMs. He can pick his guys. And just because Grandma's a BM, doesn't mean she has to wear a strapless dress. She can wear what makes her comfortable.

xoxob · April 2010

Go for Grandma!

suz62984 · April 2010

Ditto on Stage. Let him know how much this means to you. If he can't suck it up then...well I'm not even going there.

emilyinchile · April 2010

I feel like anyone who's close enough to you to be invited to your wedding should be a good enough friend not to make fun of you for being close with your grandma. If your FI thinks someone would laugh at your choice of BM, maybe that's a sign that person shouldn't be invited.

CTGirl30 · April 2010

Agreed with the other ladies - your FI is too worried about what other people probably won't be thinking and it sounds rather shallow of him. Does he think people are going to be pointing and snickering or something? If so...I'm not sure why either of you would be friends with that type of person to begin with. Also, he doesn't really get to dictate who you ask to stand on your side (just as you don't get involved with the people he asks to stand on his side).

I'm sure that down the road when grandma is no longer with you, you'll be absolutely glad you honored her in that way and that you'll have some beautiful memories of the wedding day.

trix1223 · April 2010

You choose your side. He chooses his side. You don't have to like the people on his side, and he doesn't have to like the people on your side. Tell him to butt out.

sjnsjnsjn · April 2010

I think it's awesome. She wants it; you want it. Convention be damned.

pixiedust84 · April 2010

Who in the world would make fun of someone for having their grandma as a BM?! If I went to a wedding where that happened I would think it was absolutely adorable!

Go for it!

krmabojo · April 2010

Hmmm... I just think this is weird. Then again I am not close with my grandparents at all.

Sarah&Nick0530 · April 2010

I like the idea...

NicoleJay312 · April 2010

I agree. It's not really up to him. I don't think anyone will make fun of you. I think its very sweet of you and you are luck to have such a great relationship with your grandmother. My grandmother and I don't see eye to eye on anything.

saxy414 · April 2010

I know I'm late to this...but want to jump on the "go for it" bandwagon. That's awesome that you two are so close, and ditto everyone else.

Knot Annie · April 2010

I had to jump in on this post. I LOVE the idea of your grandma being a bridesmaid! Heck ya! DO IT!

81julie · April 2010

The great thing about being the bride is that YOU choose YOUR bridesmaids. I hope that you do give your grandma the honor of being your bridesmaid, expecially if that's what she would like to do. I am super close with my grandma as well... in fact she is my best friend. She wouldn't want to stand up b/c she doens't walk that well but she will be lighting our unity candle. My mom will not feel left out b/c actually both of my parents are walking me down the aisle. It's 2010... tradition is great, but there is no rule that you have to follow it 100%!!!!
Have a great, unique bridal party.

imthegreenfairry · April 2010

I think it's great your grandma can even make it to your wedding!!! Not everyone is so lucky to have their grandma around still...and they should definitely have a special place in the wedding. BM is awesome

mgster · April 2010

Okay, I am going to have to disagree with a lot of your here. Both your fiancee and your grandmother are going to drive you crazy if you let them. Grandma wants to sing...she wants to be a bridesmaid! She should realize that it is YOUR wedding. I just didn't like that you wrote she was crying to your dad because you did not pick her. It's your wedding and your future husbands. I love my grandma and my fiancee's grandma, but I know they will be just happy to be the honored "grandparents" at the wedding. They would never want to be in the wedding party.

ANDREA1984 · April 2010

I seen absolutly nothing wrong with it. If my grandmother was still here she would be a huge part of my wedding. Not only was she my grandmother she was my best friend. I had always planned on her walking me down the aisle and giving me away. And since she has passed, I will be walking alone knowing she is beside me.

luckylizzie9 · April 2010

I think it's strange no one else commented on the fact that two of your bridesmaids dropped out? To me that seems pretty selfish of them - they accepted your offer and then later decided it was too much work? I was shocked when I read that.

And don't worry about what other people will say! Your grandma obviously loves you very much and if you are close then go for it!

dcrh · April 2010

My step-sister, suggested my Mom (who is 80 by the way) be Matron of Honor since my Matron of honor is having so much to deal with at this time of her life. I actually didn't consider it seriously till I read your post.

I think your fiancé should be more supportive. He should recognize your Grandmother is and has been very important in your life. It's your bridesmaid. Are you vetoing his choices on his attendants?

On the other hand, I was a bit surprised your Grandma told you she was so hurt by not being asked in the first place. What's up with that?

I think you really know what is the right thing to do. She wants to be part of your wedding, so make sure you do something to honor her in some way, starting with a special corsage.

LMickaliger · April 2010

what about making her the matron of honor? Its a place reserved for an older married person within the wedding party. Its not something that is used often now but its keeping her in your wedding party but with a title more statics/age appropriate title. Its your wedding party and if she is going to add joy to it include her, cherish the elderly because they will not be with us forever.

alimorris · April 2010

why does your fiance care so much? Shouldn't he want to support you in the decisions that you have for the wedding? Your wedding is your own - so make it your own. There are no rules about who can and cannot be bridesmaids. I say if you would love for her to be a bridesmaid and she would love to be there in that way for you--DO IT! Explain it to your finance and he should be supporting you from the beginning anyway! Good luck & congratulations!

deanac20 · April 2010

My vote for grandma. Especially since you are so close!

Kultgen · April 2010

I agree with the woman who said that it is cute to have your g-ma as the bridesmaid and that it must mean a lot to her.

As for pissing off you fiance, I think you two need to have a talk about this before your commit the rest of your life to each other. I mean, you said you and your grandma are close... right? How could he not expect you to want her to be involved in one of the biggest life-changing days of your life... this woman will be in both of your lives for now on and if he can't accept someone who is a member of your family as well as close enough to be in your party, then you both really need to talk about the reality of this commitment. My fiance would never get away with being pissed at me for how a family member behaved or how I wanted to include that family member in my life (and I have some crazy ones).

Good luck. There should never be a choice between family and love, so I can't imagine it is easy when placed in that position.

CML418 · April 2010

My fiance and I each just have one remaining grandma and we decided to make them our 'flower girls' for our wedding. Maybe your grandma could be a 'Senior bridesmaid' the way younger girls are sometimes 'Junior Bridesmaids.' Then she could have a slightly different role: ie, walk in the processional but not have to stand throughout the ceremony if she didn't want to.
just a thought. Good luck!

grandma as a bridesmaid????

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