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Just Engaged! Where do I start?

MedStudent13MedStudent13 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Hello everyone!
My fiance and I just got engaged, and the date is a year and a half away. I don't know where to start preparing for the wedding. First and formost my fiance and I don't really belong to a specific parish, and we don't know which church we want to get married in. As I am finishing up school I am really involved in my Catholic Campus Ministry and am rather close to our priest, and my fiance is closer to the new priest at our "home" church where we both grew up, but when we go to mass together we visit the church where our old priest is currently stationed. 
We are really in early stages of planning but I was wondering if anyone else had to make a similar decision.
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Re: Just Engaged! Where do I start?

  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats, and welcome!  Since you are conflicted, I'd see if your campus ministry even does weddings!  If they don't, then that's one less decision to make!

    Alternatively, you could have both priests preside over the mass!  Then you'd just have to decide on the location!  Good luck!
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Also, do not put any money down or get set on a date before talking with a priest and scheduling it with the church first.
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  • Meg1036Meg1036
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome, and congrats!

    I can also see where you feel conflicted.  Like Doc said, see if your campus ministry is even an option.  If its not, talk to your home parish.  Different churches have different requirements about you being members there to get married as well as different marriage preparation programs.

    Only by talking to a priest can you figure out your preparation and when you can get married.  As Agape said, do not get attached to one date (and definitely don't put down any deposits), until you meet with a priest and secure a ceremony date and location - the ceremony is, after all, the most important part!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats and Welcome to the board!

    First decided where you want to get married and then book the church. Then you can go from there. I think since you are that far out, you do have some time yet depending on how fast things book up in your area.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Congrats and welcome!

    Our wedding is being celebrated by the priest at FI's alma mater.  He lives at the parish where we are getting married, so it was no problem at all to ask for him.  I will say that it was kind of a long decision for us, as well -- we also explored three options (Campus priest, parish priest, or the parish where FI grew up).  Ultimately it just came down to who we were closest to as a couple.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    congrats!

    i would find a church that you can attend regularly, near where you plan to settle (if possible).  become members, get to know the priest, and get married there.

    we did not get married in either of our childhood parishes.  we got married where we live now, and where we always attended as a couple.  it meant much more to us to do that, knowing that our kids would someday get their sacraments there too.

    but definitely pin down your church first, then plan everything else.
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  • MedStudent13MedStudent13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everybody!
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  • kolache3kolache3 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm having a university wedding so I'd definitely encourage the Campus Ministry priest. :) However, i have a priest at home that i really like and i'm going to invite him and *maybe* have him co-officiate
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  • ingeniousideaingeniousidea member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI and I went to a Jesuit school, so it was a no-brainer for us -- we're getting married on campus and one of the resident Jesuits will be presiding with the possibilty of a couple of concelebrants.  Then again, it's still sort of "our" parish since I now work at the university and cantor for Mass on Sundays.  We don't have a "home" parish as a result.  Also, I am a convert to Catholicism and was received into the Church at the on-campus Easter Vigil service several years ago, so the campus chapel and ministers have special meaning for us.

    I would absolutely talk to the campus priest and see what he suggests.  He probably is associated with a parish in the area or at least has contacts that would make the process easier.  Talk to the expert!  :)
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  • Jay&MarissaJay&Marissa
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just wanted to say hi and welcome as the wife of a med student...you're going down a hard road, but a strong marriage is an awesome way to deal with it!
    Click Here for Bio Image and video hosting by TinyPic Married June 12, 2010!
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