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Bridesmaid-zilla?

kevinandmonica2011kevinandmonica2011 member
First Comment
in New York
So... One of my bridesmaids (A) totally freaked out on me (and another BM) last night.  I was chatting with her about how 2 of the other girls went dress shopping with me (for their dresses).  She was invited, but chose not to go.  She asked if they found any dresses they liked and I said actually B found one right away and loves it... i's "THE" dress.  I thought it was hilariously awesome.
A proceeded to get upset saying that was HER dress and now she has to find another one because now she will be the fat one in that dress.
She was pissy and pouty and just miserable the rest of the night and (knowing her) will likely continue this mood for weeks.
Insert a little background.....
- I have chosed a color and length... then given the girls free reign over their dress.  I want them to feel comfortable and sexy and fabulous and all that good stuff.
- I don't care if everyone picks the same dress or if every single girl picks a different dress.
- This girl is NOT FAT!!!  Not pudgy... not even a little thick... grrr....

I have tried talking to her several times about her "I'm so fat" complex, but it is like talking to a brick wall.  She has a wonderful boyfriend who constantly praises her and tells her how beautiful she is.  I, personally, struggled with an eating disorder/exercise obsession when I was younger so I can understand, but I would just become really quiet if anyone questioned me or said anything... she just gets really mean whenever people try to show their concern (or even try to compliment her on an outfit... it's ridiculous).
Now she has made the other gril (B) feel really terrible about this dress that she (B) was so excited about and A never mentioned.
I am trying to be as laid-back and hands-off as possible... the last thing I want to have to do is step in and referee over some stupid dress.  We could all wear pajamas for all I care.  lol

Any advice?
#1 I am at the point where I am legitimately concerned for her own health and well being.  This whole weight issue is obviously not a passing phase and it seems to be consuming more and more of her life.  I am worried about her, but really unsure how I can get through to her to voice my concerns without getting slapped with a "You just think I'm fat (or crazy or whatever)"
#2  I am really irritated that having the girls choose their own dresses has somehow managed to backfire on me.  I thought I was being super awesome and un-bridezilla-like... WTF  Grr.
#3 Grr... again... just grr...  Undecided

Thanks for the cyber-vent session ladies!  Have a happy hump day!
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Re: Bridesmaid-zilla?

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow...sounds like a blast.  Don't get too wrapped up in things - it's not good for your own mental state, but make sure that B gets the dress that she was so excited about.  I, too allowed my girls to get whatever dresses they wanted.  I gave them two color choices and waited to see where the pieces fell.  Out of 6 girls and a junior bridesmaid, 5 went with red and 2 went with brown.  Some were floor length, others were tea length, and one was a weird length because the girl was short and the dress didn't get hemmed.  None of it mattered.  :)

    The two that decided on brown dresses are completely different builds.  One is petite and fit, the other is big-boned and heavier.  There were only two brown dresses on sale at David's Bridal, and they both fell in love with the same dress.  The two realized that they didn't want to have a situation where the dress looked awesome on the "skinny" girl and somehow less awesome on the "bigger" girl.  Luckily, the smaller of the two backed down and went with a different dress that ended up looking AMAZING on her, and the original dress looked equally AMAZING on the other girl.  (I thought everyone looked AMAZING.)

    If your bridesmaid has a legitimate disorder going on, she's going to need a lot more help than you can offer right now.  She'll have to first admit she has a problem and seek help.  All you can do is be supportive, and try to act impartial during this whole dress fiasco.  (Just secretly make sure that B gets her dress.  At least you'll have one happy BM.)
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