Dear Neighbor Across the Road,
Be a responsible pet owner. If you have to let Fido out to piss at 5am, have the decency to let him back in when you're done. Don't let him sit on your porch and howl his head off for 45 minutes when the rest of the neighborhood is trying to sleep. If your dog wakes me up at an obscene hour one more time, I'm calling in a noise violation to the cops.
Sincerely,
Your Insomniac Neighbor
Dear Sarah Palin,
I know you think you can win the presidency. However, I doubt you stand a chance unless you a) take a remedial English class, because half the time you talk in textspeak, b) learn geography and basic civics, and c) learn to corral your children.
ps. Don't run. I'm happy to have you in control of my guided tour of Alaska. I in no way, shape or form want you in control of my uterus.
Sincerely,
Person Who Refuses to Vote for BSC Teapartiers
Dear Students,
READ YOUR EMAILS. I give you times, dates, deadlines, instructions, all in full sentences, using understandable English. You crying/screaming at me because you failed to comprehend basic concepts or didn't bother reading what you were supposed to does nothing but piss me off and make me less-inclined to help you.
Sincerely,
Frustrated Supervisor
Dear FI,
Pick your clothes up off the floor or I'm dressing you in them while you sleep. Sweaty gym clothes and all. Yes, you're that heavy of a sleeper.
Love and smootches,
Your Future Baby Mama
Dear Nice Student Who Brought Me Starbucks (and knows how to read emails),
You Rule.
Sincerely,
Caffienated Frustrated Supervisor
Open letter day, ladies...post away.
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning /
Married / Blog