Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church?

hdiddy013 · September 2010

I wanted to use a catholic priest for a ceremony that is not taking place in a church. Will the priest allow this? We wanted to have the ceremony at the same site of the reception. He is a close friend of my families. I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of anything like that being allowed?

SaraAndrew2010 · September 2010

Catholic weddings generally must be held in a church. If one of the couple is not Catholic, weddings in the non-Catholic's place of worship are allowed. If you are both Catholic, it would be extremely difficult to get married at the recpetion site. There may be a few rare exceptions, but they are few and far between.

This website has more details:
http://catholicweddinghelp.com/questions/outdoor-wedding.htm

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

Do you want the marriage to be recognized by the Church? If so, it must be performed within a sacred space. You might possibly get a retired priest or a deacon to perform the ceremony for you at your reception site, but the Catholic Church won't consider you to be married.

Fred13 · September 2010

You'll have to talk to the Priest to find out if this is allowed and what you have to do to make it happen. With specific religions, it gets a little sticky...

A friend of mine who is getting married in April is Catholic, but the gal he is marrying is not. This, apparently, wouldn't have been a huge ordeal, but the guy she had been married to previously was an atheist. Enter, drama. Now, in order to be married by a Catholic Priest, they have to jump through some serious hoops.

I'm marrying a Mormon guy and we would like to have his Uncle marry us. His uncle is a Bishop in the church and can perform ceremonies for people in his ward (something akin to jurisdiction. It's his group of people within certain church building boundary lines that he cares for) but in order to do a ceremony for someone other than in his ward, we have to write a letter to the First Presidency of the church to ask for permission. I'm not an active member of the church, but that doesn't seem to be a problem.

Like I said, it can get sticky when you're involving certain church regulations. It would be best to talk to your Priest soon. Good Luck! I hope it all works out!

mgietler76 · September 2010

I agree with PP's you will not be considered married before the eyes of God and the church will not recognize the Sacrament. Talk to your Priest and see what he suggests.

megk8oz · September 2010

If you want to have your marriage recognized by the Catholic church, the ceremony must take place within the walls of a Catholic church.

A priest might be willing to perform the ceremony at an outside location (You'll have to ask), and if so, your marriage will be legal, but as far as the church is concerned they will not recognize it as you taking the sacrament of marriage.

I think the only time the church will make an exception about recognizing a ceremony that takes place outside of the church is if you get married in a hospital under emergency circumstances.

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_will-catholic-priest-marry-couple-out-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:043c9f18-5f09-49f5-861d-1d752b19b993Post:83f7c5b5-2017-45da-848b-a7b4f8d0972a">Re: Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church?</a>:
[QUOTE]A friend of mine who is getting married in April is Catholic, but the gal he is marrying is not. This, apparently, wouldn't have been a huge ordeal, but the guy she had been married to previously was an atheist. Enter, drama. Now, in order to be married by a Catholic Priest, they have to jump through some serious hoops.
Posted by Fred13[/QUOTE]
I'm curious: what hoops do they have to jump through? I've never heard of the religion of previous partners coming into play... Is it that she was married before at all?

megk8oz · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_will-catholic-priest-marry-couple-out-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:043c9f18-5f09-49f5-861d-1d752b19b993Post:8b01738e-ef9f-4787-a886-aee1abef3a1f">Re: Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church? : I'm curious: what hoops do they have to jump through? I've never heard of the religion of previous partners coming into play... Is it that she was married before at all?
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I know this isn't directed at me, but here's my little bit of insight: my mom and bio dad got married in the Catholic church, as did my step-dad and his first wife.

When my mom and step-dad were planning their wedding, they'd looked into having a ceremony in the Catholic church, as well (Since that is what religion they consider themselves). The church told them they both had to have their first marriages annulled or the church would not recognize it (Since according to Catholics you are only allowed to have one marriage recognized ever). If my mom chose to annul the first marriage, then it meant the marriage to my bio dad "didn't happen" and in turn made my older sister and I (Who were baptized Catholic pretty much at birth) "illegitimate" ... and it was just a mess. Eventually, they just said "screw it" and got married elsewhere.

LuluP82 · September 2010

Yeah Catholic churches only recognize one marriage. So if either party was married before, it must be annulled.

If one party is Catholic and the other isn't, they'll generally require a promise the children will be raised Catholic before they'll marry you.

We're both Catholic. We found a priest willing to marry us outside the church. BUT, it's not technically recognized. We don't really care, though.

Adrini76 · September 2010

What ever you do will be beautiful, and blessed. )

[Deleted User] · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_will-catholic-priest-marry-couple-out-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:043c9f18-5f09-49f5-861d-1d752b19b993Post:6cc63edf-4cb1-4a26-9b8d-df96b74c4a6d">Re: Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you want to have your marriage recognized by the Catholic church, the ceremony must take place within the walls of a Catholic church. A priest might be willing to perform the ceremony at an outside location (You'll have to ask), and if so, your marriage will be legal, but as far as the church is concerned they will not recognize it as you taking the sacrament of marriage. I think the only time the church will make an exception about recognizing a ceremony that takes place outside of the church is if you get married in a hospital under emergency circumstances.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

This exactly.

H and I are both Catholic & got married in the Church. The ceremony must take place in the church for it to be a sacrament.

SaraAndrew2010 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_will-catholic-priest-marry-couple-out-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:043c9f18-5f09-49f5-861d-1d752b19b993Post:d5f1eaf4-c76a-4475-b309-b7486d256526">Re: Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church?</a>:
[QUOTE]: my mom and bio dad got married in the Catholic church, as did my step-dad and his first wife. When my mom and step-dad were planning their wedding, they'd looked into having a ceremony in the Catholic church, as well (Since that is what religion they consider themselves). The church told them they both had to have their first marriages annulled or the church would not recognize it (Since according to Catholics you are only allowed to have one marriage recognized ever). If my mom chose to annul the first marriage, then it meant the marriage to my bio dad "didn't happen" and in turn made my older sister and I (Who were baptized Catholic pretty much at birth) "illegitimate" ... and it was just a mess. Eventually, they just said "screw it" and got married elsewhere.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

Actually, getting an annullment does not make children from the first marriage illegitimate. Q&A from <a href="http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com" rel="nofollow">www.catholicweddinghelp.com</a>:

5 Does an annulment make the children illegitimate? No. The parents, now divorced, presumably once obtained a civil license and entered upon a legal marriage. Children from that union are, therefore, their legitimate offspring. Legitimate means “legal.” The civil divorce and the Church annulment do not alter this situation. Nor do they change the parents’ responsibility toward the children. In fact, during annulment procedures the Church reminds petitioners of their moral obligation to provide for the proper upbringing of their children.

MyNameIsNot · September 2010

In general, the church will not allow priests to perform marriages outside of the church. In order to have the wedding in another location, the Bishop must give a special dispensation. While these are common in circumstances such as a hospital, they generally aren't given because of location preference.

Your friend can better explain his limitations. He's probably not allowed to perform the marriage, but he can probably offer a blessing.

megk8oz · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_will-catholic-priest-marry-couple-out-of-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:043c9f18-5f09-49f5-861d-1d752b19b993Post:b0dc4998-dc00-4bd7-99fb-97d3c8e472fd">Re: Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will a Catholic Priest Marry a couple out of the church? : Actually, getting an annullment does not make children from the first marriage illegitimate. Q&A from <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com">www.catholicweddinghelp.com</a> : 5 Does an annulment make the children illegitimate? No. The parents, now divorced, presumably once obtained a civil license and entered upon a legal marriage. Children from that union are, therefore, their legitimate offspring. Legitimate means “legal.” The civil divorce and the Church annulment do not alter this situation. Nor do they change the parents’ responsibility toward the children. In fact, during annulment procedures the Church reminds petitioners of their moral obligation to provide for the proper upbringing of their children.
Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

My mom had her second wedding over 20 years ago. I'm not sure if things have just changed or if the particular church they looked into was just extra strict about this sort of thing ... or if the church representitive they talked with was just an idiot. This is just what the church they had originally planned to use had told my mom at the time.

lalap69 · September 2010

We had to nix doing an outdoor ceremony for exactly this reason. A close friend of FI's family is a Catholic priest and it was very important to FI that he be involved in our ceremony. However, he couldn't participate unless our marriage took place in a church. The Catholic church is pretty strict about these things.

meghanttu08 · September 2010

My dad talked to a decon (he's strong Catholic) about my situation-me being Catholic and my FI being non-denominational). We're getting married at a place that has a chapel and a reception hall (easy for guests). Like other's said, it won't be considered marriage by the church. HOWEVER, if I wait ONE YEAR and sign papers or something (I can't remember details), it would be counted. This is said by a decon.

hdiddy013 · October 2010

So i heard back from the catholic priest......looks like I will be searching for an officiant....he will not marry outside of a catholic church because it is not permitted. The search begins.........

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