Ohio-Columbus

Hmmmm....

Ok, my pondering brain was thinking about something today. I never really knew about wedding etiquette until I found these awesome boards so I never thought much about this:

A few years ago, my cousin got engaged. She called me and asked me to be a bridesmaid. So, I then get a TEXT from her a few weeks later saying she doesn't "need" me because one of the groomsmen broke his leg and wouldn't be in the wedding and she didn't want un-even sides. Um, ok. I was kind of ticked at the time because now she had her other female cousin in the wedding, and two "friends" whom she doesn'e even speak to anymore. In fact, one of the BM's never showed up for the rehearsal! And she came to the bridal shower and stayed for like 10 minutes and left. Anyways, so now I realize that this was a wedding no-no for my cousin to do to me. I remember being pretty upset about it but I figured she was family and I had to just grin and bear it no matter what.

So, I asked this same cousin of mine about wedding invitations the other day. I told her we weren't putting registry cards in the invitations because it's tacky and we don't want people to think we are gift grabby. She was like, "Um what? You HAVE to put them in there... nobody will know where you are registered and you won't get any presents!" I could care less about presents. But I remember her being SOOO excited about getting presents for her wedding. And she NEVER SENT OUT THANK YOU CARDS! She said she didn't feel like they were necessary.

Ok, I am done venting. I know, I know... this happened forever ago and honestly I don't care, but just looking back (and knowing what I know now) I think it's crazy! Moral of the story: I am SO glad I found my knotties so I know what to do and what NOT to do! :) That, and I am bored because I am jobless... so you all get to read my completely pointless post :)
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Re: Hmmmm....

  • edited December 2011
    Wow... just wow.
    BTW, your pig is precious!!!
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah that is a little intense that is not what weddings are for.

    On the registery card, I might be completely wrong, but I thought I read on other boards, that you should put them in your invitation or an in lue of gifts card. Because even though you are not seeking gifts you will get gifts, and your guests want it to be easy when they go find you a gift. I personally love registry bc my dad always said gift cards and money meant no thought into the gift, so we always buy a gift and registries just make it easier. Just a thought. 
  • spainstaceyspainstacey member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    tiffany:

    We did the same thing... HOWEVER we did not put the registry cards from the store in their, we put line inside the reception card that mentioned where your registerd.  I agree while you may not be seeking gifts you will still get them....

    Although I have read other places that it is totally rude and that guest should call to ask where your registered (or hte family and bridesmaids) should spread the word...

    after invites went out I second guessed it, but someone told me (that got an invite) dont' worry about it....
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh yes I can completely relate.  Looking back my brother and his wife were major 'zillas.

    *They had to approve my mom dress and threw a fit when she didn't want to wear pink (thankfully my dad stepped up)
    *They had to have my mom approve MY dress (umm seriously I know how to dress myself)
    *They announced their wedding at our cousin's wedding
    *They never thanked anyone for coming
    *They never sent out ANY thank you cards
    *They never tipped the valet or paid for parking....our hotel room was $175 plus $25 parking, plus valet tip. 

    They got many side eyes at least we all learn from some of their mistakes

    Oh yeah and I am bitter my brother didn't even get me a freaking wedding card or say congrats.  Dbag.
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  • Cassandra999Cassandra999 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I am also noticing a lot of things from previous weddings that we won't be doing.
    I'm still a little ticked about going to FI's cousin's wedding in May, and not recieving a thank you card for the gift we gave them.  We didn't even get our own invitation, we were just written in on FI's mom's invitation.
    maybe they dont have our address, but they could ask someone for it!
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_hmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:9aba2ddc-cb84-4a04-ba77-4b9c7b6fc471Post:9a1ff5d8-21e4-42ae-af2d-de5d97a37cfe">Re: Hmmmm....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh yes I can completely relate.  Looking back my brother and his wife were major 'zillas. *They had to approve my mom dress and threw a fit when she didn't want to wear pink (thankfully my dad stepped up) *They had to have my mom approve MY dress (umm seriously I know how to dress myself) *They announced their wedding at our cousin's wedding *They never thanked anyone for coming *They never sent out ANY thank you cards *They never tipped the valet or paid for parking....our hotel room was $175 plus $25 parking, plus valet tip.  They got many side eyes at least we all learn from some of their mistakes Oh yeah and I am bitter my brother didn't even get me a freaking wedding card or say congrats.  Dbag.
    Posted by Jelenny[/QUOTE]

    WOW... what is wrong with people!? I admit, I didn't know it was kind of a bad idea to put those registry cards in the wedding invitation, but looking back I realize how many etiquette rules my cousin broke! A couple things I forgot before:

    1. She made everyone drive TWO HOURS to the ceremony (that lasted 30 minutes) and everyone had to drive back TWO HOURS the other direction for the reception. People got to the reception site and were starving. You could tell people were cranky. Everyone sat another 2 hours waiting for the bride and groom to arrive. NOBODY danced and people left immediately after eating because their entire day was spent driving and waiting.
    2. She married a guy who already has a son. She didn't want him in the wedding, but she also didn't want him at the wedding AT ALL. He was probably 4 at the time. She called the biological mother and had her take him that weekend. I dunno... but to me, if you marry someone who already has a child, shouldn't you make that child feel welcome and loved by sharing in your special day? (She also avoids bringing him to family functions... we hardly ever see him).  I understand if after the wedding they would want their alone time, but i've seen AWESOME ceremonies where a step-child is given a special momento or something like that.
    3. I had been asking her some questions about how much her reception cost, etc. so I could get an idea of how much it might cost me. She couldn't tell me ANY prices on anything for her wedding day. She can't even remember where she got her dress. All she could tell me was they went with the beef and noodles because it was "cheap." LOL

    Ok, end rant. (Ahhh.... I feel better...)
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