M

LisaMDuran · December 2010

So,

Butter Cookie · December 2010

I'd ask, just so I could say I had, but then I'd accept when she turned me down (either verbally or through her actions) and just not have a MOH. It's not fair to anybody else who turns out to be your "second choice"

MrsMyrtle · December 2010

So you think her life should revolve around you, and you're all butthurt that it doesn't? Mmkay.

DG1 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_moh-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:be3398c8-5776-4481-b30b-46f0fb774e4cPost:da375b98-d246-4b4c-b42f-50734d20cb95">MOH Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]So, my best friend and I have known each other for 26 years... (since I was 3). We have always talked about my wedding and how she would be my MOH. However, each time she begins to date someone new, she engulfs herself into her relationship and forgets about me and everyone else important in her life. SHe is currently in a relationship so she has been MIA for the past 9 months. She hasn't even seen my new home because she is always with her BF. My boyfriend of 6 years and I are getting married in April. I have not chosen a MOH. I guess I won't have one. I haven't asked my best friend because there is no way she would be there for me anyways because she is ALWAYS with him. I asked her if she wanted to go with me to get my dress because she had said she wanted to go, but she said she was busy with her BF that day. Should I just go through the motions and ask her even though I know she won't be involved other than on the day of the wedding? Can I ask my cousin with whom I am very close and risk hurting my best friends feelings? I don't know what to do...
Posted by LisaMDuran[/QUOTE]

eh, myrtle. I think this has hit the opposite extreme. Sounds like she's just asking her friend to be a friend - occasionally calling or going out to dinner, not necessarily asking for 100% of her attention. Then again, there's not a lot to go on.

FWIW, I'd just not have a MOH. (I didn't have one, actually.) You can have a title-less wedding party. If you want to ask her to be an attendant, go for it, but it sounds like you aren't very close anymore and therefore aren't really interested in having her as your MOH. Also sounds like your cousin is 2nd choice, which- as BC said - isn't so great. You could just have 2 unranked people stand by you.

M

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