My bridesmaids are planning a shower for me and I was so happy and thankful. I was really excited.
Last week I found out that one relative is not invited. This relative has been rude and mean to one of the bridesmaids and her family and they have a long history. The shower was to be at her house and she refuses to invite her.
When she first told me this I didn't know what to say. I wasn't comfortable with it but I didn't know what to say. I tried unsuccessfully to say "just invite her please"
I don't like to cause a problem or ruffle feathers and I have tried 3x to say I am not ok with this but I can't seem to get it through. (i am clearly bad at it)
I am feeling so stressed and really awful. I appreciate their help so much and I really am thankful for all the times throughout my life when this birdesmaid has been there for me. (her whole family has been closer than my immediate family most of the time)
Although I am not as close to the other relative I just can't be ok with excluding her.
Invitations have been sent 1 week ago but I do have a good reason we can give people for the location change(so no one is aware of the real reason). I am planning on calling this BM and letting her know we need to change the location so we can invite the other relative. (basically I'm sorry, I thought I could do this but it's keeping me awake at night and I can't. Thanks for the planning and the offer to use your home but please move it to the other BM's house so we can invite everyone.)
Just to note my mother is also really upset with this but feels I should be the one to say something. What would you do?