Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion
Options

Groom's mother wearing white...

kariskmkariskm
First Comment
in Chit Chat
My fiance's mother is making her own dress for our wedding. She recently picked out the fabric for it and it's almost white, very close to a pale champagne color. I want her to feel pretty and comfortable and love what she's wearing. Is is selfish for me to want to be the only one (bride) in white? 
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Groom's mother wearing white...

  • Options
    NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    I mean, its not like people won't know who the bride is, but I can understand being a little miffed. I just wouldn't hold a grudge or anything, because it wont be you that gets the side-eye.

    On our wedding day, I was in the restroom at the venue fixing makeup and DH's grandmother walks in, in a solid ivory pant suit. She looked at me and was like 'Oh! I didn't know you were wearing Ivory! Do I have to go change?' (The hotel was 30 mins away). I told her no and to not worry about it. At that point in time, I really couldn't have cared less because it was my wedding day and nothing was going disrupt that happiness. I will say though, I heard through the grapevine that she did get some big-ole side eyes. .
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Ali092011Ali092011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_grooms-mother-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5e70a96a-4a67-4ab7-8098-88cded80231bPost:4a80f81f-82b4-495b-b742-3e4b6bf9fc21">Re: Groom's mother wearing white...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I mean, its not like people won't know who the bride is, but I can understand being a little miffed. I just wouldn't hold a grudge or anything, because it wont be you that gets the side-eye. On our wedding day, I was in the restroom at the venue fixing makeup and DH's grandmother walks in, in a solid ivory pant suit. She looked at me and was like<strong> 'Oh! I didn't know you were wearing Ivory! Do I have to go change?' </strong>(The hotel was 30 mins away). I told her no and to not worry about it. At that point in time, I really couldn't have cared less because it was my wedding day and nothing was going disrupt that happiness. I will say though, I heard through the grapevine that she did get some big-ole side eyes. .
    Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

    Because if you were wearing <em>white</em>, her ivory pantsuit would have been fine? Oh, the way some people think. ;) That's great that you let it roll off your back like that.

    OP, you'd be best off doing the same. It's rude of her to wear white/champagne and plenty of people will talk about it behind her back, but it's best if you aren't one of them.

    I swear, with all the MOGs I hear about on TK wearing white to their sons' weddings, I wonder if it's some kind of test to see how their future daughter-in-law will react. I can't believe so many MOGs are that clueless or careless. Of course, my mom always enjoys telling the story about her own mother wearing white to her first wedding, so the crazy isn't just restricted to MOGs.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Options
    cbbgtownloverscbbgtownlovers
    First Comment
    Has FI not mentioned that this is a faux-pas to her? I wouldn't tell him to do so certainly, but seems odd that he wouldn't mention to his mother that his bride should be the only one in white that day, unless he just isn't aware. 

    You're right to be annoyed, but like the others have said, not something worth getting into drama about.  Her white outfit won't actually distract from you, nor make you look any less the bride.  It's just poor manners. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    tiffadtiffad
    Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    No, not selfish at all like all the other PPs have said. I am actually going throught the exact same thing with my fmil. She purchased an all pale champagne gown with sequins on the top. I'm wearing an ivory satin gown with beading on the bodice.   /facepalm    I wasn't thrilled about it but didn't want to cause a huge issue and was just ignoring it. Just a couple days ago though her son brought it up to her and now it is causing some drama down the ranks. Apparently she has to now consult with all her friends to make sure we're not insane.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Carson386Carson386 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Your FI may not know that women don't wear white to other people's weddings. When I told my FI that women don't wear white or anything too similar of a shade, he asked why. I explained and he understood but, I honestly don't think that all men see it that way. I would talk to your FI, maybe he can mention it to her without bringing your name in to it. If she still doesn't care at that point, she's going to be getting the dirty looks, not you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker May 2013 Brides Siggy Challenge: Cake image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    First Comment
    I don't think it's selfish either and I agree it is considered a faux pas.
    It's an unspoken rule that the only person wearing white/ivory is the bride.
    I'm pretty sure your FMIL knows this. She probably wants to stand out as well, but she can do that wearing a different colour. Imo, maybe you should have your FI speak to his mom about this. It wouldn't be right for her to show up in this dress, nor have people speak about her behind her back at her sons wedding.

    On that note (my little story), my FI's brother got married last February on the Allure of the Seas ship, and I bought this gorgeous purple gown to wear. My FI's mother asked me NOT to wear the dress since it was her son's daughters in laws wedding colours for the bridesmaid dreses. I've never heard of anyone asking someone not to wear a particular colour other than white/ivory.
    Originally FI's mom and daughter in law new that I was buying a purple dress and were happy about it. I even showed a picture and they loved it.
    Long story short, the bridesmaids did NOT wear purple and I ended up having to buy another dress for nothing.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest PitaPata Dog tickers my read shelf:
    Jen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    gmcr78gmcr78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I will never understand why some women think it's ok to wear white, ivory, cream, champagne, etc to a wedding that is not their own.
    I was at a wedding and 2 guests wore yellow.  One wore a short very pale yellow dress which looked white.  The other wore a long yellow gown.  While I realize neither of these were actually white, they got talked about all night by other guests. 
    My own personal rule of thumb is, if I have to question it, I don't wear it. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_grooms-mother-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5e70a96a-4a67-4ab7-8098-88cded80231bPost:82fc173c-d878-43f4-a034-441eb7cf9068">Re: Groom's mother wearing white...</a>:
    [QUOTE]My own personal rule of thumb is, if I have to question it, I don't wear it. 
    Posted by gmcr78[/QUOTE]

    EXACTLY!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest PitaPata Dog tickers my read shelf:
    Jen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mj8215mj8215 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Reading all this makes me wonder: my mom wants to wear a champagne colored dress at my wedding with rose and lavender flowers stitched on it..... Is that a nono as well?
    - The stars, like dust, encircle me in living mists of light. And all of space I seem to see in one vast burst of sight. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_grooms-mother-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5e70a96a-4a67-4ab7-8098-88cded80231bPost:de2c8cc2-4ae6-48d3-840b-de7ec8b32091">Re:Groom's mother wearing white...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Reading all this makes me wonder: my mom wants to wear a champagne colored dress at my wedding with rose and lavender flowers stitched on it..... Is that a nono as well?
    Posted by Janka718[/QUOTE]

    IMO...YUP!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest PitaPata Dog tickers my read shelf:
    Jen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    First Comment
    And you know, the more I think about it, how do they NOT know that it's a faux pas??
    It was a faux pas when they were young and it still is!
    It's not possible to play stupid on this one!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest PitaPata Dog tickers my read shelf:
    Jen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_grooms-mother-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5e70a96a-4a67-4ab7-8098-88cded80231bPost:de2c8cc2-4ae6-48d3-840b-de7ec8b32091">Re:Groom's mother wearing white...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Reading all this makes me wonder: my mom wants to wear a champagne colored dress at my wedding with rose and lavender flowers stitched on it..... Is that a nono as well?
    Posted by Janka718[/QUOTE]

    If the bride is ok with it, then I say it's fine.  I wore red to my daughter's wedding and apparently that is also a no no.  But my daughter picked out the dress, it looked great with my hair and make-up.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_grooms-mother-wearing-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5e70a96a-4a67-4ab7-8098-88cded80231bPost:ecce8695-776c-4e2a-a45c-ffb083839af3">Re:Groom's mother wearing white...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Groom's mother wearing white... : If the bride is ok with it, then I say it's fine.  I wore red to my daughter's wedding and apparently that is also a no no.  But my daughter picked out the dress, it looked great with my hair and make-up.
    Posted by IamTheMommaOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

    There is a huge difference between wearing white and red.
    Maybe this Bride will be ok with her Mom's dress, but I will bet money on it that she will get some looks, because either way it's a faux pas.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest PitaPata Dog tickers my read shelf:
    Jen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards