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$$$

future mrs. benhamfuture mrs. benham
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in Catholic Weddings
We are getting married in our parish but we are having a priest from another parish preside over our wedding.  He says there is no fee which is great, but I'm assuming that a "gift" for his services (like an evelope of money, haha) would be appreciated?  Is this customary and if so, how much?

Thanks!
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Re: $$$

  • Clare13Clare13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    This is a question I have actually asked the priest who is marrying us and is a very close friend.  First, he stated that marriage is a sacrament and priests are not paid for sacraments!!!  Second, he told me that in all the weddings he has celebrated (he's been ordained for 3 years) he has received 2 gifts, one a $100.00 gift card and the other was a nice present.  Both of these came from people who he was friends with besides being their priest.  Priests are also compensated by their parish to perform sacraments.  He has specifically informed me that we are not to "pay" him.  But he loves horses and so we are going to get him nice present that incorporates his passion.  My advice would be that if the priest told you he does not want to be paid I would suggest a thoughtful present or a gift card.  I would suggest avoiding the cash. 

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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    we gave our priest $100 on top of the $150 that was the "priest fee".
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  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, the other people on this board must have very nice churches.  We are required to "donate" one hundred dollars to the priest with a check in his name in an envelope that we must give him on the wedding day.  We are also required to pay the sacristan, the altar servers, the cantor we aren't using and the organist and the wedding planner church lady.  It adds up to 750$ of mandatory "donations". This is in addition to the six months of required donations on the envelope system before you can have a wedding date.   Anyways, I guess you could give a hundred bucks?  I'm pretty sure they'd be pissed if you didn't donate. 
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  • future mrs. benhamfuture mrs. benham
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    edited December 2011
    Hm... so it sounds like this is totally specific to your church and priest.  We do pay $350 to the church and that includes everything for a full mass (priest included) but since we are bringing in someone from another parish (actually the chaplain from the high school we went to and met at) then I think a $100 gift card or something would be appropriate.

    Thanks!
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  • clearheavensclearheavens member
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    edited December 2011
    We have a lot of priest friends and a few uncles of mine are priests.  And when we want to give them a gift, we find it most appropriate to offer them an envelope with cash and say, "This is to help offer your prayer intentions."  They then have the choice to make it into a Mass offering, which they will give back to the Church, or to their personal prayers, which they use in addition to their stipend.  If they're part of a religious order, they have taken a vow of poverty, and they can really use that extra cash.
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  • Pirata13Pirata13
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    edited December 2011
    We have a $350 fee to cover the church and organist etc. I actually found out that in our diocese, if we give my priest cash, he HAS to give it to the church. So we will get him a Starbucks gift card (he goes all the time) and I will recruit a friend of mine who talks with him what restaurants he likes to go to. Or ask the parish secretary. We'll give him $100 in gift cards.
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  • mcdol3mcdol3
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    edited December 2011

    There is a recommended $150 donation for the church and everything. I think this is specific to the Church you are at.

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  • mags0607mags0607
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    edited December 2011
    can i please get married in your parishes?
     
    Let's see we pay a $1500 church rental fee $200 wedding lady fee $300 organist fee (only their organist is allowed to play on their organ) and then we should give the priest a "gift". The church we are getting married in is not our parish and the priest is one that knows my family, but not from the church we are getting married at. You have to bring your own priest.  My mother recommends $500 and after listening to you guys I find that very very high.

    If my parents weren't married in this church and I didn't grow up going there, I wouldn;t go to the expense. But it is a beautiful, old, New Orleans church so I am just sucking up the costs.
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  • scoffindafferscoffindaffer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow!! I'm jealous--like Teresa, we had to pay close to $750 for organist, cantor, blah blah blah--almost made us want to find a different church till we found out ALL local churches do that. yeah.
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  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    mags, which new orleans church is it?  I used to live in New Orleans.  That is totally crazy.  I think that has to be the most outlandish fee I've ever heard of. Especially considering there's a  church every other block in new orleans it seems.
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  • mags0607mags0607
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    edited December 2011
    We are getting married at Old St Patrick's on Camp Street. To me personally, it holds alot of sentimental value, not to mention I think it is just as breathtaking as the Cathedral or Big Jesuit's. If we had gotten married in Metairie or other surrounding areas, it would have been significantly less, but it means the world to me to be married where my parents were. I love my mom though, because she is paying for the church. It is expensive (overly so) but there are a bunch more that are the same price or more.
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