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divorced but still living in same house - invite question

DMoore421DMoore421 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FI and  I are friends with a couple from out of state that are now divorced.  The woman just informed me that they are divorced - it was a shocker to just about everyone in the circle of friends- ( their marriage was a surprise from the start and VERY unconventional to begin with)
I was introduced to the couple through my FI - they went to high school together... He was always closer friends to the woman, and not great friends with the guy - I want her at the wedding - and so does FI.  We both agree that the guy, now that they are divorced doesn't warrant his own invitation - the catch is they are still living together now - hopefully won't be by the time invites get sent but in the case that they are can she be invited without inviting the now ex-husband - even though they still live together ??
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Re: divorced but still living in same house - invite question

  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I would say yes, you can invite her without inviting him. At this point I guess he's more of a roommate than anything else. Just realise that not inviting him will likely end your relationship with him. 

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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I'd invite both of them.  I just think it's better to err on the side of caution
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  • DMoore421DMoore421 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_divorced-but-still-living-in-same-house-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9f74336-aaa6-45d8-82c8-f3c44803b908Post:07f0c637-d434-4d8d-aa2e-85673d688ac1">Re: divorced but still living in same house - invite question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would say yes, you can invite her without inviting him. At this point I guess he's more of a roommate than anything else. Just realise that not inviting him will likely end your relationship with him. 
    Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

    There really isn't a relationship with him - so ending what may be there is fine - she is a blast though so I would love for her to be at the wedding and reception -
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    You don't have to invite the ex-husband, even if they are still living together.  Just address the invitation to her.
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  • brilibby4brilibby4 member
    First Comment
    First of all, if your ticker is correct then your wedding isn't for another year and four months.  Save yourself the headache because I'm betting their living situation will change by then.  If it doesn't then I agree with the PPs who said it is fine to send her an invitation and not the ex husband.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited May 2012
    You have to invite social units together.  Roommates are not that kind of social unit.  However, I agree with brillibby that you should not think about this for a while, since you have so much time.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_divorced-but-still-living-in-same-house-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9f74336-aaa6-45d8-82c8-f3c44803b908Post:ee9ff442-7bb8-452f-bc60-969adfe4334e">Re: divorced but still living in same house - invite question</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't have to invite the ex-husband, even if they are still living together.  Just address the invitation to her.
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

    Agreed!
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  • GuebaraGirlGuebaraGirl
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_divorced-but-still-living-in-same-house-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9f74336-aaa6-45d8-82c8-f3c44803b908Post:162c0c82-5f5d-4c81-bccf-b1c724096445">divorced but still living in same house - invite question</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI and  I are friends with a couple from out of state that are now divorced.  The woman just informed me that they are divorced - it was a shocker to just about everyone in the circle of friends- ( their marriage was a surprise from the start and VERY unconventional to begin with) I was introduced to the couple through my FI - they went to high school together... He was always closer friends to the woman, and not great friends with the guy - I want her at the wedding - and so does FI.  We both agree that the guy, now that they are divorced doesn't warrant his own invitation - the catch is they are still living together now - hopefully won't be by the time invites get sent but in the case that they are can she be invited without inviting the now ex-husband - even though they still live together ??
    Posted by DMoore421[/QUOTE]

    As you're probably asking because you're starting to plan out your guest list, my suggestion is to consider her invitation to include a +1 (which you may have already been planning anyway). I have an aunt and uncle who got divorced but stayed living together because they couldn't bear to sell the house and split it and neither wanted to give it up. Flash forward two years and they've worked it out and now act like they are married again (though never officially got remarried). Giving her a +1 will give you the option of adding his name should they get back together or simply giving her the chance to bring him if she chooses.
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  • DMoore421DMoore421 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_divorced-but-still-living-in-same-house-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9f74336-aaa6-45d8-82c8-f3c44803b908Post:7a5488aa-1c3f-4c6a-8581-1deb12471b1d">Re: divorced but still living in same house - invite question</a>:
    [QUOTE]First of all, if your ticker is correct then your wedding isn't for another year and four months.  Save yourself the headache because I'm betting their living situation will change by then.  If it doesn't then I agree with the PPs who said it is fine to send her an invitation and not the ex husband.
    Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

    Yes my ticker is correct - it's still a long ways away - but I need to have my guest list pretty much done  because I have to book my venue soon - just about every place I have looked at is already booked for sept / october of next year with the exception of a few - one of which I really want - i know he is only one person- but right now trying to trim as much as i can
    I just needed an opinion  on how this situation should go .. more than likely they will probably be living in the same house still when invites go out ( job contracts and all that ) so wasn't sure if I had to invite him or if he would be considered just a room mate -

     Thanks Everyone !
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