Bachelor Party Opinions

katiespills · May 2010

I know this isn't really etiquette related, but I wanted to post it on this board to try and garner the most truthful responses:

Did you or will you care if your husband/fiance went/goes to strip clubs or got a stripper for his bachelor party? Or did anyone think they wouldn't care or knew that rationally it wasn't a big deal, but ended up being against it?

I was just curious of the popular opinion--it seems like most women either really don't care or like to say that they don't care.

crfische · May 2010

I don't/didn't care if they went TO a strip club. Hiring strippers IN would bother me.

But we did our bachelor and bachelorette party together, so it was a non-issue. But he's gone for other bachelor parties, and it doesn't bother me.

andyandhillary · May 2010

FI is not going to a strip club but I don't think I'd care if he did. Then again, I don't think he'd go anyway because it's not his style. If he was into it though I figure that I'm the one he's choosing to marry, not some cheap stripper and therefore I "win".

mocha beans · May 2010

Strip clubs are okay. Strippers in hotel rooms or in the house, are not okay. Nefarious activities seem to be much more likely to happen in a hotel room vs a strip club with big bouncers.

I don't really care where he goes for his party.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

T said he would never want to go to a strip club but if he did I'd be okay with it, depending on who he is going with.
Hiring a stripper to come over would not be ok

therickson · May 2010

I feel kind of the same as the above ladies... I do not mind if he goes out to strip clubs (I know he is - he is going to Vegas) but I would rather they not have them in the room! As much as I trust FI and know he would never do anything... People get drunk and the crazy of crazy can happen!

KentuckyKate · May 2010

I'm OK with him going to a strip club and watching the girls on stage from his table, but I'm not OK with lap dances.

L-Bride · May 2010

I don't care about strippers at all. I know my FI and I trust he'll be respectful to me in any situation. If his friends get him strippers he can't control that. I also have great relationships with his friends which I think helps.

MyNameIsNot · May 2010

I don't care about strippers. I've been to enough strip clubs that I'm totally comfortable with them. My DH didn't, because they were all kind of broke and they're sort of over it.

I agree, strippers in a hotel/home bother me.

NuggetBrain · May 2010

I didn't mind that he went to a strip club, or that he got a lap dance (mainly because they make him highly uncomfortable, so his friends got him one to watch him squirm-but-not-in-the-good-squirm-way). However, if he had of gotten a stripper at his hotel room or at a house, we would be having a serious convo.

smokeybailey · May 2010

He could do whatever he wanted-strippers, lap dances, strippers at the hotel (although that would be lame). I trust him and know his taste. Like PP's, my BF would prefer a day of golf, or, if in Vegas, a night at some fun BlackJack or craps tables. Plus we're old folks and strippers are a younger person's game.

Oh, I should edit that I have been to a shower with an in-house stripper and once had some friends deliver one to my house. I know it is completely different (in our minds) if it's the other way around but I can't be a hypocrite. It was perfectly harmless then and I believe harmless now.

ElizaRachael · May 2010

it might just be that I was raised uber conservative but strip clubs are not ok with me.. It's more of a respect thing with me that being worried about anything weird happening

katiespills · May 2010

Thanks for the opinions everyone. My fiance just had his bachelor party and ended up going to a strip club. He told me before that it wasn't his style and didn't want to do that for his bachelor party since that whole atmosphere made him feel uncomfortable, so I never really gave much thought to it.

But then this morning I found out that they did all go and it kind of made me sad and disappointed. I hadn't given it much thought before since I thought he was having a more low key bachelor party, so I just wanted to get other fiancees/wives opinions about the whole thing. I trust my fiance and everything; I think I was just surprised when I found out and am kind of bothered by the whole idea of it. Thanks again for the feedback.

ExpatPumpkin · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:56735524-246f-4354-9989-efe4f2204afbPost:e4283ccc-72aa-45cf-a4ed-9c7999a9bcf0">Bachelor Party Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this isn't really etiquette related, but I wanted to post it on this board to try and garner the most truthful responses: Did you or will you care if your husband/fiance went/goes to strip clubs or got a stripper for his bachelor party? Or did anyone think they wouldn't care or knew that rationally it wasn't a big deal, but ended up being against it? I was just curious of the popular opinion--it seems like most women either really don't care or like to say that they don't care.
Posted by katiespills[/QUOTE]

I really wouldn't have cared as long as it was a stripper and not a prostitute ;)

DH thinks strippers are trashy though, so he didn't have anything like that. But he's gone to friends' bachelor parties with strippers, and I honestly couldn't care less...

If a had any doubts that he might be inappropriate with a stripper, I wouldn't have married him. So it's really a non-issue.

smokeybailey · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:56735524-246f-4354-9989-efe4f2204afbPost:95ccdf01-dd3d-4d12-afd7-335a3451f854">Re: Bachelor Party Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bachelor Party Opinions : I really wouldn't have cared as long as it was a stripper and not a prostitute ;) DH thinks strippers are trashy though, so he didn't have anything like that. But he's gone to friends' bachelor parties with strippers, and I honestly couldn't care less... <strong>If a had any doubts that he might be inappropriate with a stripper, I wouldn't have married him. So it's really a non-issue.</strong>
Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]

I actually just asked my BF about this and he said, if she can't trust her fiance with a stripper then maybe they shouldn't get married.

Lyss5782 · May 2010

I mean, obviously I would rather no naked girls, but when it really comes down to it, I am secure enough in our relationship to know even if FI sees strippers nothing disasterous would happen.

Michelleymydear · May 2010

I guess we're in the lame department too because strippers of any kind are completely unacceptable for both of us. I would not tolerate it for a second, and neither would he. There's more than plenty of other things to do at a bachelor party than surrounding yourselves with naked women. I feel that if it's unnaceptable any other time, it should be just as unacceptable at a bachelor party.
But again, that's just the way we do things. It's not for everyone.

polichik · May 2010

I think it's incredibly disrepectful and sexist. If you really want to celebrate your upcoming marriage by oogling and objectifying women, I think your priorities are out of alignment. If it's something that you'd do any other day, whatever, but it seems like the worst possible time to decide to something like that. The whole bachelor party "last night of freedom" thing is stupid. Your last night of "freedom" was the night before you became exclusive to your partner.

Anyway, it's not an issue for us. FI made his expectations very clear to his friends, and they're going to go paintballing, to a medieval restaurant with jousting, and then out to a sports bar.

Mofongo · May 2010

Interesting this would come up. My H is on his way home from a 4 day bachelor party in Vegas. I'm glad he was able to have a good time with his friends, but I am also glad it is over. I dont' have a problem with strip clubs, i think it's a little naive to say your man may go to a strip club and not get a lap dance. I think guys buy them for each other, etc...I trust him, so it's not a problem. He called frequently and I never called him first, just wanted him to have fun! I can't WAIT to see him, he'll be here in about 20 minutes! I actually think this experience was good for our relationship, he seems so excited to come home to see me! Also, we live in NOLA, i'm from here, he is from Puerto Rico, so partying and wild bachelor parties are fairly common here.

brookelynpaisley · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelor-party-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:56735524-246f-4354-9989-efe4f2204afbPost:576c835a-2f27-44e2-9c1b-1059d525e849">Re: Bachelor Party Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I<strong> don't/didn't care if they went TO a strip club. Hiring strippers IN would bother me</strong>. But we did our bachelor and bachelorette party together, so it was a non-issue. But he's gone for other bachelor parties, and it doesn't bother me.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I find strip clubs fun and they don't bother me. But I would not be okay with them having private dancers in a hotel room.

It's all about laying boundaries.

aprovencher21 · May 2010

I really don't care if he goes to a strip club or clubs with his friends for his bachelor party. I don't have an issue with strippers in general (as long as nothing beyond a lap dance happens). I'm pretty low key on everything from porn to strippers.....as long as no prostitutes are involved!

Kasi80 · May 2010

I told him to go to a strip club. He didn't end up going but I would have no problems had he gone. Obviously since I suggested it to him. Oh my poor innocent husband. he's actually never been to one.

pooh8402 · May 2010

I care, because I personally think strip clubs are disgusting, both men and women. I told my friend who planned my bachelorette party "no strippers, no penises." I just don't think having some greased up half-naked person grinding in my face is sexy or fun.

as it was, FI and his buddies went to an improv show for his bachelor party, and there was also a bachelorette party in attendance. the comedians did ask FI to come up there and received a lap dance from the bachelorette, and then he had to give one to her. I told FI that I definitely appreciated him being honest and telling me about that, but it doesn't make me comfortable. at least they were clothed.

mizri · May 2010

FI told me that he wouldn't go to a strip club. He's doesn't care for them. But I would have no problem if he wanted to. I haven't been to one in a few years, and always had a blast when we went out to them. Of course that was way back in the day when I didn't have kids... *sigh* One night, I had the DJ pushing me around the club in a chair, I was picking the music, he was buying my drinks, then my friends that I was there with bought me a couple lap dances. I got a hickey from a stripper on my inner thigh in the middle of summer. Shorts were not my friend. But it was fun. And some of the women that work there are pretty cool. They aren't all sluts like they're made out to be. Hell, if I liked my body more, I might try to dance, but I hate the way I look, so I don't even try.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

I don't mind if FI goes to strip clubs, period. He really doesn't, but he has in the past. I'd expect he might for his b-party, which is A-ok, since I might go to Chippendales for mine.

mica178 · May 2010

I don't care one way or the other. I trust him and, if anything, I pity most strippers more than I feel threatened by them. FWIW, the "boys" are planning a fishing weekend as the b-party, so I doubt strippers will be involved.

cara91997 · May 2010

I personally would not care if my fiance went to a strip club or even if they had a stripper at a house party. I trust him and don't think there is anything wrong with looking. That's just me though.

emilyinchile · May 2010

DH's friends had strippers over at one of their houses for his bachelor party, and I honestly do not mind at all. Strippers aren't really his "thing" - I mean sure, hot girl wearing skimpy clothes, yay, but from the way he told me about the night the next day it sounded like some of the other guys were far more excited about it than he was. I think it would bother me if he were really into it, but since it's always been something that someone else suggests and organizes (from the couple times he's been to a strip club in the past), it doesn't bug me.

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