NWR: Archdiocese of Detroit & American Catholic Council

ootmother2 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-archdiocese-of-detroit-american-catholic-council?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:68928cd2-67b0-4d8b-8bfe-5bb16bc9c7c3Post:91659447-7076-42a2-83da-ec67096e5a35">Re: NWR: Archdiocese of Detroit & American Catholic Council</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Archdiocese of Detroit & American Catholic Council : I'm not taking sides with either you or OOT here, but I do feel the need to point out for the sake of this discussion that this article is almost 20 years old (1993).
Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

good heavens! I never even looked at the date on that link.

No matter, I had a very rewarding conversation with my pastor tonight after mass and I'll be praying with him and everyone else for more people becoming priests and even choosing the "sinning east coasters" parishes to enter.

Seriously even with the shortage of priests, I find my church coping as best they can. We join with the 13 other parishes on the UES to sponsor charities (other than CC), to collect and donate to the poor, to provied youth organizations and activites for young people and to support the Catholc schools in this area. We have actiities every day for the elderly as well as entertainment such as yoga, bridge games and chess.

ootmother2 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-archdiocese-of-detroit-american-catholic-council?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:68928cd2-67b0-4d8b-8bfe-5bb16bc9c7c3Post:610c61c1-570f-4e2e-9d67-c5466f245bcd">Re: NWR: Archdiocese of Detroit & American Catholic Council</a>:
[QUOTE]so how can one poster in particular antagonize repeatedly, every chance she gets, another poster in particular without any "be careful" warning from the mods? if they are going to police, then they should police consistently. not pick and choose who they want to police.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

If you think that this is happening, perhaps you should discuss this with the mods and not make (barely disguised ) blank shots

night ladies!

doctabroccoli · June 2011

Thanks for the updated link, Agape.

Also thanks to Caitriona for the link about the ACC. It was very informative. Out of curiousity, did they have their gathering today? Anyone know?

And Calypso, I'm sorry if you feel like I'm playing favorites. I've called out other people besides Agape for potentially inflammatory comments on this board. I have never removed posts from anyone, and I won't, unless it's clearly a troll. But if I see something that might offend someone, I will say something. Like I said, there are a lot of lurkers here, and I personally don't want to see anyone turned off by Catholicism because they took a vague statement to mean something that wasn't actually meant by the poster.

lisa89760 · June 2011

Yea it looks like they did

http://www.detnews.com/article/20110613/LIFESTYLE04/106130333/1041/lifestyle04/Archdiocese-to-review-Mass

GulfCoaster · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-archdiocese-of-detroit-american-catholic-council?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:68928cd2-67b0-4d8b-8bfe-5bb16bc9c7c3Post:62fcdbb3-35e3-4cdc-905b-a948546443cf">Re: NWR: Archdiocese of Detroit & American Catholic Council</a>:
[QUOTE]And Calypso, I'm sorry if you feel like I'm playing favorites. I've called out other people besides Agape for potentially inflammatory comments on this board. I have never removed posts from anyone, and I won't, unless it's clearly a troll. But if I see something that might offend someone, I will say something. Like I said, there are a lot of lurkers here, and I personally don't want to see anyone turned off by Catholicism because they took a vague statement to mean something that wasn't actually meant by the poster.
Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

I don't have any problem with either mod pointing out a vague comment by any poster that could be taken in an inflammatory/insulting way. I think that's fine.

I do, however, have a problem with a particular poster who spends 75% of her time on our board being mean to Agape, and never seems to get called out on it by a mod. I've stopped coming here often because of OOT. Most of what she does is attack Agape every chance she gets. I get tired of reading it, and I know I'm not the only one -- the last time I posted a comment about this issue, I got several PMs from other posters about how that lack of civility had driven them away from the board, too.

This is a Catholic board, and all of us are called to be civil to one another. Can't we all be nice to one another?

doctabroccoli · June 2011

OOT and Agape like to go at it, this is true. But neither of them are ever malicious to each other. No one ever gets called a b!tch or anything mean-spirited, or at least not since I've been a mod. Debate is good. But unless personal insults start flying between the two of them, there's not much I can do. People disagree - that's what makes us individuals. And that's why we have two mods with different perspectives on the Catholic faith, so that it doesn't ever look like the mods are "taking sides" or whatever.

Calypso1977 · June 2011

i disagree, docta. she bullies agape and she also likes to badger and attempt to bully me, although i have never reported her as i dont report people. its not worth making a stink over, because its a free country and she can say what she wants. only makes her look like a fool in the end. i can handle her, she's had it in for me for years, going back to her days when she was friends with the infamous Mrs E. but hte point is that no one has ever told her to calm down/take it easy/be careful not to offend when she has said many a thing that would warrant such a comment IF the mods want to take the approach that people need to be policed in their speech.

doctabroccoli · June 2011

I understand what you're saying, but you are not Agape or OOT. You may hold off on a debate, but neither of them seem to ever want to. That's their choice. So unless things get offensive, or one of them formally complains to a mod, I honestly can't do anything within my powers. Religion is a very polarizing topic, even within the same faith. There's a reason why you should never talk about religion or politics in your professional life

agapecarrie · June 2011

Correction, I do NOT like to go at it, and all I do is defend myself and the faith, period. I am not on the offense. This is why I took a brief time off, because it was getting way out of hand. This was before there were mods. I can't tell you how many pms I've gotten that are supportive of the way I give information.

Docta, you say there is nothing you can do unless I or she complains? Did anyone complain about what I said here that you "corrected" me with? I doubt it, yet you still gave a correction. If that's needed in general, fine, but be consistent.

...(which honestly I still have no idea what that is about. If you thought someone might take offense, then clarify the statement. Telling me to watch what I say does no good because I still am clueless as to what I said that could have been offensive...and on that topic, I don't think its a mods job to make sure no one gets offended. You can't help that...telling someone who is wearing red shoes that you don't like red shoes can offend them)

doctabroccoli · June 2011

That's my fault for wording that wrong. I was getting ready to head to the airport, and I did not make it clear enough that I took offense to that generalization as a person, and it came across as too mod-ish, because I was worried others would take offense as well. And if you don't want to respond to OOT, nothing is making you do so.

Riss91 · June 2011

I think I've been pretty good at trying to "call-out" those that have been nasty, though I will try to do a better job. I have certainly responded to OOT's nastiness within posts, when I think she has been unecessarily cruel to someone. I have also, at great length, brought up to agape that her tone can come off nasty and have asked her to try to take a more warm approach. I think she has made progress in that area. OOT has more difficulty with that towards certain posters. Unfortunately, we can get someone's attention and express to them our concerns, but it is up to them to make those changes. We as mods do not have the power to ban someone unless they violate the TOS. If you think they have, please page us, or PM us immediately, citing the post.

I will continue to hold people accountable for their remarks, especially those that are not only unproductive, but are rooted in hate.

doctabroccoli · June 2011

Riss is always more eloquent

. Just got on a plane, so I'll be back in a couple of hours if this discussion needs to continue.

Riss91 · June 2011

Also - don't feel like us mods are the only ones that should "confront" someone. If you feel comfortable letting someone know that what they said was hurtful or nasty, please let them know (in a polite, constructive way) either in a post, or a PM.

ootmother2 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-archdiocese-of-detroit-american-catholic-council?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:68928cd2-67b0-4d8b-8bfe-5bb16bc9c7c3Post:c8b61e86-df54-4fb2-acfa-f785d942bc96">Re: NWR: Archdiocese of Detroit & American Catholic Council</a>:
[QUOTE]i disagree, docta. she bullies agape and she also likes to badger and attempt to bully me, although i have never reported her as i dont report people. its not worth making a stink over, because its a free country and she can say what she wants. only makes her look like a fool in the end. i can handle her, she's had it in for me for years, going back to her days when she was friends with the infamous Mrs E. but hte point is that no one has ever told her to calm down/take it easy/be careful not to offend when she has said many a thing that would warrant such a comment IF the mods want to take the approach that people need to be policed in their speech.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Someone just pointed this out to me. I thought the subject was over last week.

I totally deny picking on either calypso or agape.

Riss, you mentioned this once on another board where I had C&Ped Calypso's post with correct spelling and punctuation. My entire point was to try to get her to stop posting without ever reading what she writes or using spellcheck. I don't make fun of it on the other boards that Calypso posts on but other's sure do. It really doesn't take much, one little click and the post is readable. Other knotties would be much more receptive if she did this, rather than making fun of her on FFF on the Etiquette board.

I also have a firm belief that receptions are often not possible to schedule right after the wedding ceremony. Calypso replies quite rudely to others that all gaps are rude, regardless of the circumstances. I saw that most people on this board has had gaps, including you.

I also dislike her posts that cash bars are acceptable in her area. Please note that I was born & raised in the Boston area and have NEVER seen a cash bar. I'm only one of the 999999.9 knotties who believe that cash bars are tacky and rude.

I happened to know mrsE IRL and Calypso must be holding one long grudge if she's mentioning her now. She's been gone for ages and I certainly never ganged up with her. I do remember one post where mrs.E stated that she made $9000 in one phone call while she was knotting. That was quite probably true. Financial advisors and traders can get one call like that and then be dry for quite a while. I remember saying in that post that I made $42,000 in one phone call on a day that I was awarded a corporate buyback. It was totally true but I only got a 10% payout and my firm got the rest. Same with mrs.E. And it was 4 months before I got another crack at that buyback :( And that entire post was a huge attack on mrsE but not only by Calypso. There were at least a dozen participating in it and I'm not at all surprised that mrs.E left the boards after that.

Agape? I find here rather staid in her posts and unaccepting of other's ideas but I have never intentionally been mean or cruel to her or anyone else on the boards. I will post when I think someone is wrong and they are totally able to argue with me. If I'm wrong on this one, someone should point it out to me. The one time I called out a poster, virgincita, I thought that her knot name was appalling and I still do. Spanish or not, one does not name yourself after the Virgin Mary on a wedding chat board.

My argument about the growing lack of priests in this country is just one where I took an opposite side. I really dislike her alluding that people on the East Coast are somehow less Catholic because we don't have two seminaries turning out new priests. This is a NATIONAL, in some cases, international problem and a solution needs to be found.

I know I'm not alone on this stance. I hear it all over in my parish and at my daughter's school when she was at Convent of the Sacred Heart and at Boston College. btw, I dislike having the Jesuits put down because, IMO, they are some of the greatest teachers and priest around!

wow, that was long, sorry, I had to rebut those posts

agapecarrie · June 2011

OOT, here is the problem. You are misquoting me and twisting my words. I NEVER EVER said that east coast was less Catholic. Ever. You made it up.

2nd... when I was encouraging someone with JPII who quoted Scripture with "Be not afraid" you then replied that I was putting myself on the same level of Christ, which is absolutely absurd. It was antagonistic and ridiculous.

I'm not going to play the game. If you want to continue, then, whatever. But you see here that people see through it.

ootmother2 · June 2011

!) you implied it

2) if I recall that post, you spoke in the first person, rather than the third. That changes the wording considerably

agapecarrie · June 2011

1) I implied no such thing.

2) This is exactly what I said in the prevoius thread:

If its from the church, then there is nothing to be scared of, because it is about our salvation. As Christ said (and JPII always quoted) "Be Not Afraid"

ootmother2 · June 2011

I'd be totally open to chatting off the knot if you would like. I have aol & yahoo but I guess I could get gmail easily enough.

Please feel free to PM me the IM site of your choice and I will register for it to continue.

night

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